On Models

"When did all the men get together and decide that they would only get it up for giraffes with big breasts?"

-Miranda Hobbes, Sex and the City

New Year's Resolutions

New Year's Resolutions. Why do we make them? They are broken before the end of January anyways. Be honest! How many New Year's Resolutions have you actually kept? Is the New Year really your fresh start?

The best resolutions that are more likely to be kept are those made in mid-year. Less pressure, I guess.

Strategy

When guys like you and are thinking about making a move, they can tend to start with a hug to see how you will react. If things go horribly, at least they were able to cop one feel.

Back-to-work blues

To quote Blink 182: "Work sucks! I know!"

It's not that I hate my job. I like it. It's just work always puts me in a bad mood after holidays.

I never get everything that I want accomplished over the holidays, not even half of what I want to get done. Between visiting with family members and putting together those "some assembly required" Christmas gifts, time evaporates into thin air.

By the time you turn your home into a disaster on some reorganizing mission, it's time to go back to work. And your place will stay a disaster until summer vacation now.

I need at least one more week off to finish my little missions turned disasters.

Got Milk??

I used to be a die hard two per cent milk drinker. Skim milk was like water. It was gross.

But eventually I weaned myself off the fatty two per cent, first switching to one per cent and then finally to skim.

Now there is no going back. Since I haven't had two per cent in a while, it is stunningly thick. When you use two per cent, it's like a cow threw up in your cereal.

I find people are sensitive about their milk percentages. People can't erratically jump around from skim to two per cent. You are one or the other - hard core.

Going from two per cent to skim is in some ways like quitting smoking. Except milk isn't addictive or harmful, unless it contains the cancer-causing bovine hormone.

Hugs and Kisses

Why is it the one day you sleep in, skip the shower and deodorant to get to work on time, is the one day the guy you like gives you a big holiday hug?

Hugs and Kisses

Why is it the one day you sleep in, skip the shower and deodorant to get to work on time, is the one day the guy you like gives you a big holiday hug?

Moo!

Over the last year and a half, I have been drinking milk that comes in a plastic carton.

Once you do this there is no going back to the cardboard carton. You can taste the cardboard. And it's terrible. It's like the milk's gone bad.

Drugs

"Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they get you down and sometimes they get you so high!" -Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

Holiday Vortex

Holidays. They suck me into a vortex. I disappear from my friends. I even forgot I had a blog.

After the turkey has been eaten, I dive into "around the house" projects, in a mad effort to get them done before it's back to work again. There is never any rest to be had, even on my days off.

Unwelcome News!

When being single, and having to face up to the usual family Christmas conversation that revolves around the spinster-tragedy that is your life, there is no worse news then that from a recently engaged colleague.

She writes: "I am so happy. I hope everyone's holidays are going as well as mine."

Rub it in a little more.

Unwelcome News!

When being single, and having to face up to the usual family Christmas conversation that revolves around the spinster-tragedy that is your life, there is no worse news then that from a recently engaged colleague.

She writes: "I am so happy. I hope everyone's holidays are going as well as mine."

Rub it in a little more.

Boxing Day

Elbows up and weave through the crowds. Stand in hour long line ups to get into stores. Line up some more to try things on and then to pay.

A day lost to the mall. Is it worth it? Bargain prices on things you wouldn't normally buy.

Love is work.

Why do movies give us false hope that we will find true love?

Maybe love exists, but it is not like the movies.

Real love takes work, sacrifice, compromise. It is living with and putting up with someone who is not quite perfect, sometimes annoying, but lovable nonetheless.

There is no such thing as the perfect man or woman. Do we lower our standards to find love?

Happy endings are endings that haven't really ended yet.

Disappointment

"What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble. That's what you get for all your trouble. I'll never fall in love again."-Burt Bacharach and Hal David

Sunday Night Lights

When a guy asks you out on a Sunday night date what does that mean?

He couldn't squeeze you in on Friday or Saturday because of all the other friends and women in his life?

Are you the third string date that only gets to play during the post-game cool-down scrimmage?

Is it because he wants to drop you off early. Work the next day is an excuse to get rid of you.

What do Sunday nights mean?

Christmas Cards

The act of sending Christmas cards makes you think about who your friends really are.

There are those you send Christmas cards to without question: your best friends who have been there over the years, family members, etc.

But what about those in your address book who you have not spoken to in years. Should you send them a Christmas card? Would it be a pleasant surprise for them to receive the card in the mail? Or is it pathetic on your part to attempt to revive an old friendship with a card? Is it a waste of time? You know that person won't even return your act of kindness with a simple phone call to say hello. But do you send them a card anyway?

Do you send a card to that all but forgotten acquaintance you run into in the mall a few weeks before Christmas? Do you send cards to your enemies to show you can turn the other cheek?

Why not just send cards to everyone you know? Every name you can think of and every person you can track down. It's a way to say that you are thinking of them and the roll they played in your life.

Uncertainty

"Jump right in! That's what they say. That's how you start . . . But how deep is it? How cold . . . Plunge right in! That's what they say. There's a temporary loss of self, craving balance . . . Grapple with chaos . . . Why bother?" -Alison Lohans

True Love

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - When Harry Met Sally

Loser Games

Why do girls date losers?

They don't want to at first. But it's the guy's ability to listen and pay attention to details that wins women over. It is their initial kindness too.

The guy's attention boosts the girl's ego. And before she knows it, she's in too deep.

Some of these geeks can be as scheming as the good looking ones. The geeky, ugly ones know that a woman can be won over. Once the ugly ones have what they want, and the chase is over, the ugly ones leave or become jerks, just like the good looking ones. The ugly one does the guy thing guys like to do after they get what they want.

And the girl is extra embarrassed because she's been duped by a geek.

Trend

We must ask ourselves why.

"Every woman has felt embarrassed by appearing too needy with a man. Every woman has had a man pursue her, only to lose interest the minute she gave in. Every woman knows what it feels like to be taken for granted. These problems are common to most women, married and single alike," wrote California radio personality Sherry Argov.

It's true and we must simply shake our heads. It's a sad world out there.

Regret

"You got up out of bed. You said you had a lot of work to do. But I heard the rest in your head. And almost immediately I felt sorry. 'Cause I didn't think this would happen again . . . with or without my best intentions" - Liz Phair

Cynical Much?

"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'" -Rita Rudner

Frustration

Why are there like a billion books out there on how a woman needs to behave or act in order to keep a man?

Where are all the books for men? How come men aren't encouraged to change their behavior to get and keep a woman. Surely, most men want meaningful relationships. If all the women got together and withheld sex, men would change their nonchalant behaviour.

The Rules for men could be as follows:

1. Quit being an indecisive moron and commit a yes or no to a relationship. You either want her or you don't. Quit playing games and give her a straight answer so she can get on with her life.

2. Treat her like she is special. Afterall, she is kind enough to sleep with you, even though you are an overweight and slightly balding ogre.

3. Grow up. You are a 35-year-old accountant, not an 18-year-old rock star. Even if you could have every woman in the world, sex is meaningless after a while if you don't have a relationship to back it up.

4. Don't be a jerk. If you're out late or something call. Let her know.

Women are always being told we're needy. No. We just want to be treated with human decency. Why does society let men get away with such bad behaviour?

Women are getting married later and later. Why? Because they are realizing a lot of men out there are immature. Women don't have to tolerate it anymore.

Back in the day, before equal rights, women had to marry stunted rejects in order to survive.

Now that women can support themselves, a woman can shop around for a grown-up.

You've Got Mail

The worst invitations to get in the mail when you are single are the ones that say "You and one guest are invited to..."

It always sucks to have to RSVP and say: "It will just be me."

You've Got Mail

The worst invitations to get in the mail when you are single are the ones that say "You and one guest are invited to..."

It always sucks to have to RSVP and say: "It will just be me."

Winter fun.

I think red light cameras should be turned off on snowy days when road conditions are poor.

Do you know how many people slide through these intersections because of ice? Probably lots. And these people probably dispute their tickets in court and some of them probably win.

It's a big waste of tax payers' money. So keep the red light cameras off during the winter.

Fatal Attraction

Apparently, the easiest way to make a woman who is a six look like a 10 is to act jealous when your man checks her out.

Instead, it is best to act like you don't even notice her. Just act like everything is normal and cool. Continue to carry on the conversation and he'll think you're the 10.

Fatal Attraction

Apparently, the easiest way to make a woman who is a six look like a 10 is to act jealous when your man checks her out.

Instead, it is best to act like you don't even notice her. Just act like everything is normal and cool. Continue to carry on the conversation and he'll think you're the 10.

Junk Mail

I don't know about you, but I get a ridiculous amount of junk mail.

Andy Rooney suggests we take our random junk mail and send it to the credit card companies with the stamped envelopes they enclose when they send us pre-approved applications.

You would basically be sending them junk mail on their dime.

Rooney also suggests to occasionally send the envelope back empty just to keep them guessing.

"Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits."

It's mean, but it's funny.

Honestly!

The truth hurts. No truer words have ever been spoken.

So should you hold back from telling the truth?

Sometimes telling people the truth motivates them to change for the better. That's why Dr. Phil got so popular. He just tried to tell it like he saw it.

Yet when you tell the truth, the honest truth, you will be criticized for doing so.

If telling the truth is so bad, why do some people get offended when you tell them a little white lie.

Do you say the truth:

"My significant other isn't at the party, because he can't stand you. He thinks you're all a bunch of pretentious losers."

Or the lie:

"My significant other had to work tonight."

Is lying so bad?

If we told the truth all the time, we would have more enemies than friends.

True Dat!

"We were having one of those great first dates you can only have when it's not an actual date." -Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

We've all been there.

Meaning??

"All is fair in love and war."

Is it? For the most part, people can do whatever they want. Nothing is stopping them. Yeah, sure they might have to deal with the consequences later.

But what is fair to you might not be fair to the other person.

Is it fair to have an affair? Well maybe to you. Maybe you needed a break from the everyday as your wife was struggling with the grief of her dead mother. But was it fair of you to turn your back on her?

You can be persistent when it comes to winning a person's heart. It is only fair that you exercise your freedom of speech regarding how you feel. But it is not fair to the other person, when you don't respect their right to say no.

So do you worry about fairness for yourself or the other person?

Hot and cold.

Why is the weather cruel and unusual? Minus 30 for a few weeks, then a few days of plus five and then back down to minus 25.

While I appreciate the warm days, they are just a slight tease. Getting you out of the habit of plugging in your car and always carrying your hat and mitts. Your body might have been getting accustomed to the cold weather, but the warmer weather takes that immunity away. When the cold hits again, it's as shocking as the first time.

Deep Thought!

"None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free." - Goethe

Hot or Not?

"Sex appeal is 50 per cent what you've got, and 50 per cent what people think you've got" -Sophia Loren

Hot or Not?

"Sex appeal is 50 per cent what you've got, and 50 per cent what people think you've got" -Sophia Loren

Motivations

"Women need a reason for having sex. Men just need a place." - City Slickers

Addiction

Love is like cocaine.

It affects a single pathway in the brain that is activated by the hormone dopamine.

Neurologists have compared the brain scans of those in love with those on drugs. It turns out drugs and love activate the same brain regions.

"Romantic love is such a euphoric 'high,' because it produces craving, obsession, compulsion, distortion of reality, emotional and physical dependence, personality change and loss of self-control.

Many psychologists regard romantic love as an addiction -- a positive addiction when your love is returned, a horribly negative fixation when your love is spurned and you can't let go," said anthropologist Helen Fisher.

Waking Life

Do you ever have dreams so intense that they feel real?

You shut your alarm off just so you can see how the dream will end.

It is the most amazing dream you have ever had. When you wake up you feel like you have to tell everyone you know about the dream. And then a little later on that morning, it's like; "Wait a minute. That wasn't a cool dream. That was stupid. What was I thinking?"

How could you have ever got so worked up about such a dream?

But you tell the dream to someone else anyway. Sure, enough they look at you like you are stupid.

Why did you even bother to tell the dream to someone else? Listening to other people's dreams can be boring.

We just can't seem to be able to relate to one another's dreams.

Censorship

"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" -High Fidelity

Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

My cat's hobbies include starring out the window, fighting long flowing red ribbons, throwing a ball from foot to foot, sitting in deep thought from the shallow depths of the bathtub, eating and sleeping.

What does she do when I'm not home? I have no idea. She doesn't seem to need me to keep entertained.

In the wild, would my cat's life be any better? What do wild cats do? Dodge traffic, hunt prey, eat, ward off predators - be they human or other animals - and sleep.

Often, when I watch Animal Planet, lions always seem to laze about.

Aside from the threat of real dangers, are wild cats any different from house cats?

Grrr.

C'est la vie.

That expression translates into "life sucks sometimes."

Like when you have plans to get all this work done, but your Internet goes down.

Or you're in a hurry to get to work. You're half way there when you realize you forgot that important report you slaved over all weekend on the kitchen table. You need it for your morning meeting and you have to go back for it.

C'est la vie. Life sucks . . . Sometimes.

Who knows why?

We never learn

"Didn't your mother tell you that sex leads to things like dating?" - Frasier Crane to Roz in an episode of Frasier

Sex Like a Man

How come men will sleep with you and not be interested in a relationship afterwards?

It's insulting to the women men sleep with. Women are not objects for gratification.

How come women can't have sex without forming some kind of deeper attachment? It's in our chemical making. It's called oxytocin and it isn't fair.

Disappearing act!

The greatest mystery in life is where our socks go.

I keep single socks in a drawer in hopes that their missing match will one day return. And sometimes they do.

I have individual socks that go missing for weeks and then show up in the laundry basket unexpectedly one day. The basket had been emptied several times while the sock was MIA. How it suddenly returned? I don't know.

One time a sock showed up inside my winter jacket, even though I typically hang my coat up and it goes no where near my laundry. What was with that? I don't know.

What sort of journeys do our socks go on? What sort of adventures do they have?

Keep your feet on the ground.

Why are we always falling?

We fall in love. We fall out of love. We fall apart. We fall into depression. We fall away. We fall back. We fall in. We can literally or metaphorically fall flat on our face.

What does it mean to fall? It doesn't always lead to bruising.

In my dictionary, there are well over 21 definitions for the word fall.

Ouch!

When you miss a few days of exercise your body likes to punish you by forgetting some of its strength and flexibility.

If I go more than three days without doing any karate, moving seems more difficult. My legs are heavier and slower. I can't stretch as far as the week before.

Why can't we have eternal body memory? We do something once we can do it forever. In theory, that would mean we would be as flexible as when we were babies.

Searching

What is the meaning of life?

Why do we ask this question as if there is only one simple answer that can be whispered in our ear?

The meaning of life is our life in it's entirety.

Meditations

Fortune cookies hold little nuggets of life's wisdom.

Yesterday I opened a fortune cookie that said: "Your luck will be as sweet as you are."

I'm sweet like an orange. I'm sweet once you get past the bitter and protective peel. Perhaps that's why my luck's always been so-so.

Perhaps if I was sweet through and through, like candy, my luck would be better.

You are treated as good as you treat others, some say.

But then we all know bad things can happen to good people. Why? No one knows.

Is there such thing as luck?

Undue stress!

It is said that when you have children or pets you can be more stressed for them then they are for themselves under certain situations.

For instance, I took my cat to the vet recently, and while she did not enjoy her experience, she handled it well. I turned out to be more worried about the experience than her. I underwent more stress than my pet.

I have heard the experience is worse when you have kids. Like if children are taken in for surgery, the parents undergo more stress and worry than their children.

We worry too much. But we do not worry without reason.

The shopping god is everything.

Christmas time! What a commercial scam!

The spirit of giving translates into the spirit of buying.

The mall is riddled with hundreds of shoppers looking for the perfect gifts.

But those shoppers don't necessarily embody the Christmas spirit.

I made the mistake of going to the mall during peak time: a Saturday afternoon. I was elbowed and shoved along through the throngs of people.

I had to ride the wave of slow meandering crowds to get to the aisles I wanted. Shopping cart barricades prevented access to other aisles.

A grumpy man yelled at me for holding up the line when I asked the cashier to put some work related purchases on a separate receipt.

Tis the season.

The weather outside is frightful.

There is nothing worse than when it is cold outside but there is no snow.

At least when there is snow, the cold weather feels justified.

But, I guess, when there is no snow, the driving conditions are good. And that is important.

Keep on trucking!

For all you aspiring writers and artists out there, you might find this story, told by Jerry Seinfeld in the documentary "Comedian," inspiring.

"You know, when I was starting out, I used to sit down and write a couple times a week. And then, one day, I was watching these construction workers go back to work.

"And I was watching them kind of trudging down the street, and I was . . . It was like a revelation to me. And I realized these guys don't want to go back to work after lunch, but they're going 'cause that's their job.

"And if they can exhibit that level of dedication for that job, I should be able to do the same.

"Just trudge your ass in."

The Divine

Chocolate should not be lumped into the same category as junk food.

Here is why.

Junk food refers to food with limited nutritional value. Foods with lots of salt, sugar, fat and calories can be called junk food.

Candy, gum, fried fast foods and salted snack foods are all junk foods. They lack little in protein, vitamins or minerals.

But chocolate, on the other hand, contains antioxidants, which help prevent cholesterol from sticking to artery walls. Chocolate can reduce the risk of heart attack or stroke.

Chocolate also contains disease-preventing flavonoids. The darker the chocolate, the more antioxidants and flavonoids it contains.

There is a reason South American tribes call chocolate the food of the Gods.

Yes, chocolate does contain a lot of fat. So, unfortunately, it must be consumed in moderation.

It should also be noted that a serving of chocolate contains as much caffeine as one cup of decaffeinated coffee.

Meow!

Ah, to be a cat.

To always land on your feet and look so relaxed. Cats make their living lazing about on sofas and sunny ledges.

Cats are true royalty.

They smile when they sleep.

I wonder if I smile when I sleep.

Road Maps

Sometimes it feels like life is holding me in place. Yet the more things stay the same, the more things change.

Other times I feel compelled into motion and I have to move quick.

Either way I have no idea where I am going. I have an idea of some of the places I'd like to travel through, but I have no final destination in mind.

Life would be easier if I had a crystal ball. If I could tell the future, what would it do to me?

Choose life!!

We take for granted our freedom. For the most part, we do control our own destinies.

Fiona Harrold wrote: "We can have what we want or we can have our reasons for not having it." We choose.

Now if only I could follow that advice. It is easier said then done.

Gremlins

There are great mysteries in life.

Like when you find something broken for no reason whatsoever. When you open a CD case to find overnight that the CD has worn from silver into a clear see-through unplayable plastic. When some tubing in your car melts and no one can give you an explanation why.

There are gremlins in our lives.

Weekends

Sometimes there is nothing better than a quiet night at home on a Friday or Saturday night.

It's nice to catch up on reading, movies or anything else you haven't had time to do in a while.

I think sometimes we go out on a Friday or Saturday night just for the sake of going out.

But staying home alone gives you the chance to reflect on your inner self.

There is also the likelihood you will wake up earlier the next day, giving you more productive time for your weekends.

Bad hair days every day!

Tis the season of frizzy toque hair.

For the next five months, the frigid weather requires hat wear.

This means some of us will walk around with flat, messy toque hair, which makes us look like eccentric professors that can't be bothered to do our hair because our minds are clearly in other places.

But it's the weather. Honest!

To protect and serve.

Firewalls are problematic.

Apparently we need them to keep our computers safe from harm. But as soon as you have a problem with your Internet or any of your software, the first thing tech people do is tell you to shut off your firewalls.

Well in two recent problems with my computer I have shut off my firewall, but, of course, the problems weren't really with the firewall. It was something else. But, when you tell this to the tech people, they seem at a loss for what to do.

I had a software problem last night. I contacted tech services. Of course, you can't reach tech help on the phone anymore. Instead it's a live chat, because we like to make these things as inhuman as possible.

I had a sense of what the problem was, but the tech guy wouldn't listen. Because, in his mind, the problem was the firewall and nothing else.

The tech guy told me to shut off my firewall, my virus scan, etc. But that didn't fix the problem. I told him this.

His answer: "Well, uninstall your firewall and virus scan and see if that solves your problem. If not, call us back."

And I'm like: "That's ridiculous. What's the point of having a firewall and a virus scan if they interfere with having your computer work properly."

Well I was hung up on. But instead of following the guy's advice, I pulled out all the instruction manuals, or, as I like to call them, the "destruction" manuals for my computer and played around with things until I got my computer working again.

And the problem wasn't the firewall.

The firewall is an excuse that tech guys give you that means your problem is too complicated, and they don't want to take the time to help you figure it out.

It's too much hassle.

The Artist's Way

Pablo Picasso once said: "Never take a part-time job because it will become your full-time life."

I guess that means you must starve, while you develop and grow as an artist.

How can one truly dedicate themselves to such a craft and succeed?

We are not living in the world of rich benefactors anymore. And art grants can be pretty stingy, plus hard to get.

The whole world knows it!!

Have you ever come across a piece of knowledge that you don't know, but one day find yourself needing?

You need that piece of knowledge to solve a problem. And when you look for the answer to your puzzle, you realize the answer is already common knowledge.

You find yourself asking: "Why does everybody else in the world know this, except for me? Where was I, when this common knowledge was handed out to everyone else?"

It's like learning a new word. You had know idea what it meant. You had never even heard the word used before. But once you learn that word, you hear it all the time. Everyone knows what it means.

What's with that?

Great Expectations?

There is too much pressure to have the perfect Christmas.

The Christmas lights come out almost as soon as the pumpkins are taken in. And so begins the countdown to that "perfect" day.

Keep your smiles up in good Christmas spirit. You're not allowed to have a bad day for the whole month of December. You can't dampen holiday spirits after all.

Movies are all about potentially ruining, then saving, Christmas. There is Christmas commercial after Christmas commercial...

Under all this hype, we forget it's just a day. A pleasant day perhaps, spent with family and friends. But it's just another day.

All my Christmas Days blend into one when I look back at them.

With all the hype leading up to Christmas, I often find Christmas anticlimactic, although enjoyable.

Commitment

"Commitment-phobes are not only unable to commit to 'yes.' They are also incapable of committing to 'no.' They keep the door open, giving their partners false hope," wrote Lisa Rubisch.

Some men won't commit. They are not serious about you, but they won't tell you to get lost. They will leave you hanging.

These men will occasionally call you up and give you the attention you want when they are in an indecisive mood. Sometimes these men think they want you, but deep down inside they know you aren't the one.

These men won't say "yes," but they don't want to say "no" indefinitely.

These men will drive you crazy. Run while you can. Both of you will be better off.

Just Friends

When a guy complains that he is in the friend zone, he must ask himself is he really in the friend zone? Or is he just sitting on his hands, afraid to act?

Has the girl been laying subtle hints that she likes him? Is he just too dense to notice?

Speak up boy. Express how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, she'll end the teasing friendship and you'll get over it.

A non-profound revelation!!

If we are too busy in life to do everything we want to in one day, perhaps we should should take the time to enjoy the few tasks that we can accomplish. Even if it is just doing the dishes. It's one more thing off the "to do list."

My fortune cookie at lunch today said: "enjoy the small pleasures in life."

I guess I should enjoy the day to day things more, like doing dishes, and turn the chores into small pleasures.

After all, there are people in this world who don't even have dishes, clean water or adequate food.

More time please!!

Do you ever feel like you've bit off more than you can chew?

I have so many things I would like to do and have to do, but there is only so much time in a day. So I never get everything done. I'm tempted to cut back on sleeping, just so I can have more hours in the day.

Unfortunately, I like sleeping way too much.

Work eats up a lot of time. I don't mind working. But it would be nice if there were 12 hours left in the day after work, which would allow me to pursue my other interests, and then also have another 8 hours left for sleeping.

There just isn't enough time in the day. I need, at least 28 hours in a day, if not more.

Beauty and the Beast

"The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality:" Joan Rivers once said.

It's a tale as old as time. For some reason we think we're ugly. And we put this message out to the universe, so the people around us believe it too.

But I've read if we can reverse this thinking, and be confident with the way we look, people will view us as attractive.

Maybe we're not airbrush model beautiful. But our uniqueness and confidence makes us attractive, like Sophia Loren. She was voted one of the most beautiful women in the world at the age of 66. Yet, when she was 16, she was told by Hollywood bosses that her nose was too big and her mouth was too wide. Loren was told to get plastic surgery. She didn't follow that advice and was still beautiful to the world because she believed she was beautiful.

Perhaps it is our physical imperfections that outline our beauty.

Emptiness

"Whatever happened to a boyfriend? The kind of guy who tries to win you over . . . I can feel it in my bones. I'm gonna spend another year alone." - Liz Phair

Pre-perceptions

Why do we like to imagine what people are like before we meet them?

When we talk to someone on the phone, we get an idea of what this person is like from the sound of his or her voice and the few sentences he or she strings off.

We use language and sound to fuel our imaginations, but language and sound fail to paint accurate pictures.

We also use preconceived notions to guess what a person looks like. If we know a person likes punk rock or ballet, we assign a certain look for him or her in our head.

But our logic and ideas fail us, because we are often surprised.

Apathy anyone??

Jack Kerouac once said: "I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't make any difference."

No truer words were spoken, in a sense, anyways.

Caring makes living harder to deal with, especially when one starts to think about global injustices.

If we don't know and don't care, it really doesn't make a difference. We are only one in a few billion. What is another lost soul?

If we don't care, where does that leave us?

Sitting at home, eating potato chips, watching reruns of "Sex and the City," while thousands of other people starve.

I have no power to help the world. I turn my back and choose not to care. I take for granted my trivial daily problems and refuse to acknowledge the harder realities out there.

On the surface, I don't care about anything, except, of course, for me.

But peel away my layers and you will find guilt over the fact that, every year, 15 million children die of hunger.

But I shut it out. I make myself not care. Because, even if I cared, it wouldn't make a difference. I am only one person. I cannot solve the world's problems. I cannot even begin to try.

Waiters and Waitresses

Why do waiters and waitresses write a generic note on the bills they pass out?

I mean, I don't know about you, but a handwritten "Thanx!! Christine:)" on the back of my bill does not affect the way I tip.

Why do servers do it? Especially since people have gotten in the habit of tipping regardless of the quality of service. People reward mediocrity.

And what is with tipping anyways? Servers don't have to be paid a lot by their employers when the employer knows the public is willing to hand out cash.

Servers get 50 per cent of their wages from the employer and 50 per cent from the public. What a scam!

Employers should be paying 100 per cent of the wages and be thankful the public is willing to pay for inflated meal prices.

Live in the now!!!

Why is it that people worry so much?

Sometimes it seems, if we don't have something to worry about, we worry about not being worried about something.

Worry prevents us from truly enjoying the moment. We are always wondering about what is up ahead, instead of being fully in the present.

Worrying about something does not make that something any better.

Unfortunately, I can't shut my mind off.

And is that what living in the moment really is -- shutting off our minds, not just from worry but thoughts.

It takes a lot of concentration to truly be in the moment. If we truly lived and enjoyed the moment all the time, then when would we get a chance to think?

Bat out of hell...

Truck drivers are crazy.

Let's say you are driving on the highway in your little car and it's day time. The roads are fine, so you're doing the speed limit. Chances are you'll come across several snail-like semis you'll have to pass. When road conditions are fine, semis tend to drive below the speed limit.

Now let's say it's dark out. The road conditions are horrible with ice and whiteout conditions. You, being cautious and wise, slow down to meet the road conditions. You might even be looking for a nearby town where you can spend the night and wait out the storm. The semis, in the meantime, are whipping by you at breakneck speeds.

What gives? In normal conditions, semis move like slugs. In horrid conditions, semis are driven by maniacs.

It's pure madness.

Figuring out this life

Is it true that we spend our 20s trying to figure out what we want and then our 30s trying to get it?

And how do we know what we really want until we have it?

We've all had those experiences where we want something so badly that we'd do anything for it, but then when we get it we realize maybe that "thing" isn't so great after all.

Sex and the City

How many women really go on first dates every week?

How many women really meet men when they go to the bookstore or when getting a cup of coffee on their way to work?

Life isn't "Sex and the City."

I think in real life, a guy might come into your life occasionally. You might meet him through a friend or through work. Most people are lucky if they have two love interests a year.

Television and dating books should take into consideration real people aren't dating that much. Most of us singletons are Bridget Jones, listening to Celine Dion singing "All By Myself" on a lonely and quiet Saturday night.

The Big Question

Sometimes there is only one question a girl has to ask herself.

When is that guy going to ask you out?

He stops in and visits you at work. He calls you. You've gone to lunch with him, maybe went to a few movies.

But are you just friends? When is he going to blur the boundaries and state his real intentions?

It's obvious he likes you, isn't it? So when will he become your boyfriend?

This is the horrible waiting game a girl plays.

Stomping and Clapping

A drama teacher in high school once told me that people like to applaud.

That's why at the end of a play, the actors are brought out in small groups for their final bows. It gives the audience the chance to applaud their little hearts out.

I guess I'm not like everyone else. I don't like to applaud.

At the ballet last night, after they brought out the third group of dancers, I stopped clapping.

As people were still clapping for the seventh set of dancers, my sister looked at me, as if to say: "When the hell is this going to end?"

It looked like soon. So I stood up to put on my jacket. Bad idea. Then everyone else around me stood up, still clapping. I accidentally started a standing ovation, but I guess it was deserved.

Finally, all the dancers were on stage for their final bow. The curtain started to close. People stopped clapping. But then the curtain got stuck. There was this second of awkward silence, as people realized what happened. The dancers were still stuck on stage.

What did people do? They started clapping again.

The dancers took one more bow. And then finally, a clever person up in the lighting booth killed the stage lights and the dancers scuffled off.

Vampires

I went to the ballet tonight. I always go to the ballet every now and again.

My favourite thing about the ballet is the set design and special effects.

Tonight's ballet was "Dracula."

A few of the dancers were graphically beheaded. At one point, Dracula turned into a bat and flew away.

At the end, Dracula was impaled and left to hang up on a spear. Dracula why didn't you turn into a bat again, before the angry mob speared you? Why, Dracula? Why?

Ah, the magic of theatre.

Look! It's a plane... No. Wait. It's a plastic bag!!

Every day when I come home from work I pass this lone white plastic bag caught up in a tree, barren of all its leaves.

I think it is actually a very beautiful sight. It peacefully dances along the branches, lead by the wind.

Anyhow, tonight I googled "plastic bags stuck in trees" and learned that there are a few groups of people out there who pluck these bags down and dispose of them.

One such group invented a special tool to aid them in the task. It is called a "bagger snagger." It can reach 40 feet in the air and snatch down those wannabe birds.

If you surf the Internet long enough, you will find photos of Bette Middler using the bagger snagger to clean up New York City. Middler is, of course, the founder of the New York Restoration Project.

Did you know so far this year the world has used over 409 billion bags? It's true. You don't have to take my word for it. Do the research.

Anyhow, that is the useful fact for the day.

These are a few of my favourite things...

It's getting crazy busy at work. For the next three weeks it will be go, go, go.

But that's life in the media business. Things are slow for the longest of time and then something explodes and you find that you're working non-stop until you drop or until the explosion is cleaned up. Whatever comes first.

But it's during times of craziness where I have moments in which I appreciate the minute details of life.

Today, I was enjoying the driving experience. Something I normally take for granted.

There was frost on my car windows this morning. Normally I hate scrapping my windows, but today I enjoyed the brisk cold air, watching the white curls of frost fall to the ground.

I enjoyed driving to work. I was alone with my thoughts, rocking out to a favourite CD.

It is these moments that bring peace to my life, until someone cuts me off and sends me crashing back down into reality.

Hey! Pick up the phone!

Why is it okay not to return some one's call? For God's sake, call people back even if it's with a simple "no" or a "go away."

If someone took the time to call you. Take the time to call them back. Don't keep them hanging.

I work in the media and I leave a number of messages on people's machines looking to set up possible interviews. And there is nothing I hate more than someone who won't return my calls. Because that means, until my deadline passes, I have to keep phoning back and phoning back, leaving another message after another message, which is annoying for both of us.

So if you have "no comment," just call me back and say so. It will make both of our lives easier. Okay!!

Dinner for one please

In some ways convenience foods are symbols of loneliness. When a person lives alone, he or she often does not take the time to cook. When it's just one person a full blown meal isn't worth the time or the effort. Most recipes are meant for four people, but the box out of the freezer is usually meant for just one.

Bad blogs...

I went to a journalism conference last week that featured a stuffy key note speaker. He said blogs are bad for journalism.

Blogs are bad because they often don't contain accurate facts and are full of biases. Blogs are not objective, he said.

Blogs are usually poorly written and are for wannabe writers, he continued.

The uninformed masses will read blogs at face value and take what is written as fact.

(Journalists are taught that our general audience has about a Grade 5 reading level. I suppose our general audience also has no critical thinking skills and therefore has difficulty distinguishing fact from opinion).

Me, I think blogs are great. They encourage global dialogue and help give a voice to those who are perhaps voiceless. Blogs promote freedom of speech.

So for all you bloggers out there: "Keep on blogging in the free world!!"

A denser matter...

I've been studying the martial arts for a few years now. And I have made an observation: one per cent of the population is made of a dense, but soft, foam. It's true!

It's pretty easy to block Average Joe's punch. You can just knock it out of the way.

But when you run into these dense foam opponents, it doesn't matter how good your technique is, you're block is going to sink into the foam until it hits an immovable brick bone wall.

I once saw two experienced large black belts try to move a foam-made white belt. Both black belts pushed on the white belt with powerful side-thrust kicks, but the foam man wouldn't budge.

It sounds crazy, but it's true. There are people out there that are made of matter so dense you just can't move them.

The Broader Sense

We shouldn't care about fitting in. Just be yourself. But how far can you carry that argument? In the larger sense "being like everyone else" can mean having a job and paying your bills.

Being myself could mean wearing pajama pants and waking up at 10 a.m., but for some reason few bosses like that. So, like many, I conform to a 9 to 5 routine.

Sometimes it's better to bite your tongue. Saying what I want to say when I want to say it probably isn't the best idea. We all live under self-imposed restraints, because if we didn't we might appear to be a little crazy or a little antagonistic or what have you.

I've seen a lone grown man do a pirouette in the middle of DQ just for the hell of it. By appearances, he definitely wasn't one who fit in with society. Perhaps self-restraint is what keeps us sane. When we truly unleash our inner selves we cross into the realm of insanity.

Mark Twain once said: "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

Have you ever opened your mouth and said what is exactly on your mind and then regretted it the moment after? Why did you regret it? Likely because you care about what people think.

In the professional world of ladder climbing we need to sometimes break into certain groups to advance. So dress up and impress those people you don't really like just to get ahead. Otherwise it's entry level positions and wages forever. Most of us want that bigger house or at the very least to get rid of student loans.

Further to the discussion of fitting in, we all need a group to belong to, even if we say we don't. Take away all your friends and family, while those around you still have supports. Move to a town with a foreign culture and where you know no one, then trust me fitting in will become important.

Let's face it. Humans are social creatures. We all just want to belong.

Monsters Are Us

We've all heard of bad hair days, but have you ever heard of a Frankenstein Day? That's the kind of day I'm having -- where you want to fit in here or there, but just can't, because apparently you have monster-like characteristics that make you stand apart from the group. I'm sure we all have a monster in us that sometimes scares people away. All Frankenstein wanted was for people to see past his monster-like traits and connect with the vulnerable human within. He was just like everybody else, but people just couldn't see it. What does it mean to be just like everybody else?

The dark side...

I hate it when communication types have to apologize for their jobs. "I'm sorry. I sold out." Whatever. Plush government or corporate job = big salary + three to four weeks of holidays a year + good benefits. When is the journalism industry going to catch up? Low pay, often lots of contract work, anti-union and long hours. I think journalism should be called the dark side because they haven't caught up to the 21st century when it comes to professional labour standards. The only reason PR is the dark side is because communication types are obstacles to getting information when their employer falls into controversy. Communication types = self-serving obstacles who have sold out freedom of information and democracy.