When it comes to measuring success at the Olympics? Do you go by the number of golds a country has won or by the number of medals overall?
If you only count golds to mark success, what's the point of giving out silver or bronze?
After all being second is like being the first loser.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
A dog eat dog world.
It's been said that cats possess masculine dating traits and dogs, well, they possess the female.
A dog, like many women in a relationship, can get a little needy. Dogs would rather be out on an evening stroll with you than having to be stuck at home while you are out with the guys.
A cat doesn't care if his owner is out with the girls. He could use the alone time.
A dog, like some women, likes to binge eat and will go for the whole cake if no one is around to see.
A dog, like many women, is overly affectionate. Dogs will greet you at the door and try to cuddle with you at inappropriate times. Dogs just don't give you any space. They always want to follow you around and spend every waking moment with you.
And that list could go on.
A dog, like many women in a relationship, can get a little needy. Dogs would rather be out on an evening stroll with you than having to be stuck at home while you are out with the guys.
A cat doesn't care if his owner is out with the girls. He could use the alone time.
A dog, like some women, likes to binge eat and will go for the whole cake if no one is around to see.
A dog, like many women, is overly affectionate. Dogs will greet you at the door and try to cuddle with you at inappropriate times. Dogs just don't give you any space. They always want to follow you around and spend every waking moment with you.
And that list could go on.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Scarves.
When you live in a cold and horrible winter climate it becomes necessary to wear a scarf in the winter, and sometimes it is so cold you need two scarves.
While scarves keep you warm, they often impede in shoulder checking when driving. You just can't get your head as far around with a scarf.
Plus, sometimes the tail ends of your scarf stick up and block your view.
However, scarves are useful when worn up over your face, as they hide the fact that you enjoy singing in your car.
While scarves keep you warm, they often impede in shoulder checking when driving. You just can't get your head as far around with a scarf.
Plus, sometimes the tail ends of your scarf stick up and block your view.
However, scarves are useful when worn up over your face, as they hide the fact that you enjoy singing in your car.
Say cheese.
Online dating is a safe place for people to use cheesy lines without being laughed at by the opposite sex.
Only when online dating would a guy use the name "Sir Hugs A Lot," or use the tag line "Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?"
Please!
But then again, at least "Sir Hugs A Lot" shows a little more personality than "Nice Guy 916."
Then there are the tag lines like: "Just trying this for fun" or "Are you the one?"
Whatever, Mr. Original. Do you put as much thought into your relationships as you do your profile?
Only when online dating would a guy use the name "Sir Hugs A Lot," or use the tag line "Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?"
Please!
But then again, at least "Sir Hugs A Lot" shows a little more personality than "Nice Guy 916."
Then there are the tag lines like: "Just trying this for fun" or "Are you the one?"
Whatever, Mr. Original. Do you put as much thought into your relationships as you do your profile?
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Catty much?
Do you ever wonder why a lot of single girls have cats?
Well, perhaps it's like practice for having a boyfriend.
Cats, like men, are aloof. They want your affection, but only when they want it. Otherwise they are most happy when alone with their toys.
Cats, like men, will meow (whine) when you don't do what they want.
Cats, like men, will wake you up in the middle of the night when they want to be pet. They don't care if you aren't in the mood.
Cats, like men, will often run away scared when you start sobbing.
And the list could go on.
Well, perhaps it's like practice for having a boyfriend.
Cats, like men, are aloof. They want your affection, but only when they want it. Otherwise they are most happy when alone with their toys.
Cats, like men, will meow (whine) when you don't do what they want.
Cats, like men, will wake you up in the middle of the night when they want to be pet. They don't care if you aren't in the mood.
Cats, like men, will often run away scared when you start sobbing.
And the list could go on.
Train wrecks
I was at a local pub with friends. There was an obese woman at our table, who ordered a poutine as a snack and talked about how the following day she had a bacon date with her friend. As she explained it, she and her friend like to get together and eat bacon.
Everyone around the table's eyes went big. We were all thinking "OMG," because it was clear that this woman's eating habits were destroying her health.
Of course, no one said anything, because what do you say. We're all taught to mind our own business, and it's probably just as well. Sometimes it's better to avoid confrontation then to try to prevent a train wreck.
Everyone around the table's eyes went big. We were all thinking "OMG," because it was clear that this woman's eating habits were destroying her health.
Of course, no one said anything, because what do you say. We're all taught to mind our own business, and it's probably just as well. Sometimes it's better to avoid confrontation then to try to prevent a train wreck.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Rebound
"The only one who should have to pay for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship." - Miranda, Sex and the City
And that's why it sucks when you discover that you've been elected someone's rebound girlfriend.
When they find out you're not exactly . . . well, not even close . . . to their ex-girlfriend, it's all downhill from there.
And that's why it sucks when you discover that you've been elected someone's rebound girlfriend.
When they find out you're not exactly . . . well, not even close . . . to their ex-girlfriend, it's all downhill from there.
Strategy
When guys like you and are thinking about making a move, they can tend to start with a hug to see how you will react. If things go horribly, at least they were able to cop one feel.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Old Hat
Men seem to treat their old girlfriends like security blankets.
Literally, when men have nothing better "to do" they come running back to women they just left.
Maybe men have short-term memories. Or maybe men second guess their decisions to leave.
But maybe men are relying on the fact that you once said you loved them, and they want to exploit those old feelings, because they can. When the night is over, they'll be gone and you end up feeling used.
That's why you have to cut off ex-boyfriends forever.
Just remember you will survive, so change your stupid lock and make your ex leave his key.
Literally, when men have nothing better "to do" they come running back to women they just left.
Maybe men have short-term memories. Or maybe men second guess their decisions to leave.
But maybe men are relying on the fact that you once said you loved them, and they want to exploit those old feelings, because they can. When the night is over, they'll be gone and you end up feeling used.
That's why you have to cut off ex-boyfriends forever.
Just remember you will survive, so change your stupid lock and make your ex leave his key.
Ms. Jones
Why was "Bridget Jones's Diary" such a popular movie? Because it is true to life for a lot of women. They are worried about their weight, yet they can't curb their eating. A few extra pounds and looking for love - because there is nothing worse than spending your life alone.
As Bridget Jones says so well:
"I suddenly realized that unless some thing changed soon, I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine and I'd finally die fat and alone and be found three weeks later, half-eaten by wild dogs."
Like Bridget, many women picture their wedding to a guy as soon as he expresses an interest.
If men want to understand the unspoken thoughts of many women, watch Bridget Jones's Diary. You might not like it, but it's true. A lot of women are secretly that neurotic, if only in their heads.
As Bridget Jones says so well:
"I suddenly realized that unless some thing changed soon, I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine and I'd finally die fat and alone and be found three weeks later, half-eaten by wild dogs."
Like Bridget, many women picture their wedding to a guy as soon as he expresses an interest.
If men want to understand the unspoken thoughts of many women, watch Bridget Jones's Diary. You might not like it, but it's true. A lot of women are secretly that neurotic, if only in their heads.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Hugs and Kisses
Why is it the one day you sleep in, skip the shower and deodorant to get to work on time, is the one day the guy you like gives you a big holiday hug?
Animal Attraction
When you meet a guy at a pet store and he's buying a big bag of dog food and you're buying a big bag of cat food, can the relationship really work out?
Clearly he's a dog person and you a cat person. Cats and dogs don't get along.
When there's a fundamental lifestyle difference or opinion should you still give the person a chance?
Should a non-smoker try to date a smoker? Can someone from the political left date someone from the political right? Should someone who wants to have kids date someone who doesn't?
These are the deal breakers.
Now a person can get rid of their cat or their dog. And a smoker can quit. But that's a long way to go for love, if it is indeed love.
And why give up a loyal pal, such as your cat, who has been with you through more boyfriends and break ups than you care to remember.
You and your pet are a package deal. Or are they?
Clearly he's a dog person and you a cat person. Cats and dogs don't get along.
When there's a fundamental lifestyle difference or opinion should you still give the person a chance?
Should a non-smoker try to date a smoker? Can someone from the political left date someone from the political right? Should someone who wants to have kids date someone who doesn't?
These are the deal breakers.
Now a person can get rid of their cat or their dog. And a smoker can quit. But that's a long way to go for love, if it is indeed love.
And why give up a loyal pal, such as your cat, who has been with you through more boyfriends and break ups than you care to remember.
You and your pet are a package deal. Or are they?
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Drugs
"Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they get you down and sometimes they get you so high!" - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Decision
"Be sure of your choices; you're stuck with them forever." - Life's Little Instruction Calendar Volume XI
Talk about pressure. Yikes! No room for error.
That's why life is a learning game.
Talk about pressure. Yikes! No room for error.
That's why life is a learning game.
Go away. Go away. Go away.
There are some ex-boyfriends who should just drop off the face of the planet. It would just be better for all those involved.
Like the ex-boyfriend who occasionally sends you little tokens in the mail out of the blue. Is it to show you that they still think about you? Or do they just want to see what sort of emotions they can still evoke?
Seeing their name on an envelope can make your heart stop, even if you haven't thought about them in months.
And then you call them to thank them and they tell you that they got their new girlfriend to mail it.
All they wanted to do is pick off the scabs and rub salt in the wounds. What next are they going to stab you in the heart? Oh wait. They ripped that out long ago.
Sadistic bastards like that are those that should really, really drop off the face of the planet.
Like the ex-boyfriend who occasionally sends you little tokens in the mail out of the blue. Is it to show you that they still think about you? Or do they just want to see what sort of emotions they can still evoke?
Seeing their name on an envelope can make your heart stop, even if you haven't thought about them in months.
And then you call them to thank them and they tell you that they got their new girlfriend to mail it.
All they wanted to do is pick off the scabs and rub salt in the wounds. What next are they going to stab you in the heart? Oh wait. They ripped that out long ago.
Sadistic bastards like that are those that should really, really drop off the face of the planet.
Monday, February 20, 2006
A way of life.
For athletes, their sport is their way of life.
I'm not a high performance athlete like those in the Olympics, but I do train karate three to four times a week.
There's only so much you can learn and you learn that very quickly. You spend the rest of your life trying to perfect those "basics." And that's all there is to most sports.
Yeah, practice can be tedious. And, amazingly, you can push past injury like nobody's business.
Athletes get hurt all the time. They get torn whatevers and broken bones. They won't let a little injury slow them down. I used to think that was crazy, until I lost my toenail in a match. Although it hurt, I didn't flinch and kept on going. Adrenaline has a lot to do with it, as well as a neurotic need to keep on going no matter what. I can't explain it.
Sport can be like an addiction. You don't want to give it up for one night, even to let an injury heel.
Although, someone got their tooth knocked through their lip in karate this weekend. I don't know if I can handle that one.
I'm not a high performance athlete like those in the Olympics, but I do train karate three to four times a week.
There's only so much you can learn and you learn that very quickly. You spend the rest of your life trying to perfect those "basics." And that's all there is to most sports.
Yeah, practice can be tedious. And, amazingly, you can push past injury like nobody's business.
Athletes get hurt all the time. They get torn whatevers and broken bones. They won't let a little injury slow them down. I used to think that was crazy, until I lost my toenail in a match. Although it hurt, I didn't flinch and kept on going. Adrenaline has a lot to do with it, as well as a neurotic need to keep on going no matter what. I can't explain it.
Sport can be like an addiction. You don't want to give it up for one night, even to let an injury heel.
Although, someone got their tooth knocked through their lip in karate this weekend. I don't know if I can handle that one.
Lesbians
Why do guys always, at some point, have to bring up the idea of a threesome?
That is so uncool.
If the girl is really into you, she doesn't want to share. And if she ends up playing the supporting role, while the other girl stars, you better watch out. Because someone in a threesome always has to play the supporting role, like that's fun.
And guys, if it's not cool for you to do a threesome with another guy and a girl, then why do you think it would be cool for a girl to do it with another girl and a guy?
Haven't you ever seen the movie "Threesome" or "Chasing Amy?" It will just make the relationship awkward.
A threesome is a fantasy. And that's the way it should stay - a fantasy.
Plus, where are you going to get the second girl from? I mean, really. You? You had enough trouble getting the girl you have to sleep with you.
That is so uncool.
If the girl is really into you, she doesn't want to share. And if she ends up playing the supporting role, while the other girl stars, you better watch out. Because someone in a threesome always has to play the supporting role, like that's fun.
And guys, if it's not cool for you to do a threesome with another guy and a girl, then why do you think it would be cool for a girl to do it with another girl and a guy?
Haven't you ever seen the movie "Threesome" or "Chasing Amy?" It will just make the relationship awkward.
A threesome is a fantasy. And that's the way it should stay - a fantasy.
Plus, where are you going to get the second girl from? I mean, really. You? You had enough trouble getting the girl you have to sleep with you.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
The benefit to being a girl...
"Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again." - Susan Healy
And the meal is usually free.
And the meal is usually free.
Unwelcome News!
When being single, and having to face up to the usual family Christmas conversation that revolves around the spinster-tragedy that is your life, there is no worse news than that from a recently engaged colleague.
She writes: "I am so happy. I hope everyone's holidays are going as well as mine."Rub it in a little more.
She writes: "I am so happy. I hope everyone's holidays are going as well as mine."Rub it in a little more.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Guys, once and a while...
1. Buy a girl flowers for no reason at all.
2. Tell the girl you like her just the way she is and mean it. (You better mean it, otherwise why are you dating her?)
3. Give her a hug when she has a bad day.
4. Make her supper and bake a cake too.
5. Take her somewhere to do something she has never tried before . . . like rock climbing.
And by the way, you'll notice that this list is about showing that you care.
If you really want to win a girl's heart, that's all you've got to do is show her that you care. And if you can do it creatively and romantically, more power to you.
Sex is secondary. It really is.
2. Tell the girl you like her just the way she is and mean it. (You better mean it, otherwise why are you dating her?)
3. Give her a hug when she has a bad day.
4. Make her supper and bake a cake too.
5. Take her somewhere to do something she has never tried before . . . like rock climbing.
And by the way, you'll notice that this list is about showing that you care.
If you really want to win a girl's heart, that's all you've got to do is show her that you care. And if you can do it creatively and romantically, more power to you.
Sex is secondary. It really is.
Brrr....
I hate when it gets so cold out that your watch freezes and stops working after you've only been outside for a couple of hours.
At minus 47 degrees Celsius (that's minus 52.6 degrees Fahrenheit), it can get pretty cold even when you are indoors. Those are the days you just want to stay in bed and watch TV. Unfortunately, people expect you to still go to work. After all, you can't let a little cold weather stop you from doing your job.
Although, I think there should be a federal law that says you don't have to go outside when the temperature dips below minus 25 degrees Celsius, if you are working in a non-essential service industry. (That's minus 13 degrees Fahrenheit).
Now, of course, where I live, that would mean, during some years, I would get half the winter off. But I don't really have a problem with that.
At minus 47 degrees Celsius (that's minus 52.6 degrees Fahrenheit), it can get pretty cold even when you are indoors. Those are the days you just want to stay in bed and watch TV. Unfortunately, people expect you to still go to work. After all, you can't let a little cold weather stop you from doing your job.
Although, I think there should be a federal law that says you don't have to go outside when the temperature dips below minus 25 degrees Celsius, if you are working in a non-essential service industry. (That's minus 13 degrees Fahrenheit).
Now, of course, where I live, that would mean, during some years, I would get half the winter off. But I don't really have a problem with that.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Pointless
Guys who say they aren't looking to be in a relationship right now are difficult to understand.
What's the point of dating someone if there is no possibility of a blooming relationship?
You're not looking for something serious. Well, chances are the girl is looking for something that will grow to be more serious.
Why should a girl waste her time on such a guy?
When a guy says they are not looking for anything serious, that is a girl's cue to run far away and fast. Because that sort of guy is just looking to use her.
What's the point of dating someone if there is no possibility of a blooming relationship?
You're not looking for something serious. Well, chances are the girl is looking for something that will grow to be more serious.
Why should a girl waste her time on such a guy?
When a guy says they are not looking for anything serious, that is a girl's cue to run far away and fast. Because that sort of guy is just looking to use her.
Cynical Much?
"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'" -Rita Rudner
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Taking a chance
"Don't forget that the words, 'Would you like to join me for coffee?' can result in one of the greatest romances of all time." - Life's Little instruction Calendar Volume XI
Those words can also lead to one of the greatest disasters of all time too.
But you don't know until you try.
Those words can also lead to one of the greatest disasters of all time too.
But you don't know until you try.
Taking a chance
"Don't forget that the words, 'Would you like to join me for coffee?' can result in one of the greatest romances of all time." - Life's Little instruction Calendar Volume XI
Those words can also lead to one of the greatest disasters of all time too.
But you don't know until you try.
Those words can also lead to one of the greatest disasters of all time too.
But you don't know until you try.
You've Got Mail.
The worst invitations to get in the mail when you are single are the ones that say "You and one guest are invited to..."
It always sucks to have to RSVP and say: "It will just be me."
It always sucks to have to RSVP and say: "It will just be me."
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Hockey
Olympic men's hockey can be divided into two leagues: the teams of NHL members and those teams that aren't.
The NHL teams dominate. And so, as of late, it usually always comes down to Canada and the U.S. (In fact, in women's hockey, it really is a two team tournament, because Canada and the U.S. will cakewalk to the final).
But I wonder if for hockey teams, like Italy (which has no NHL hockey members), if it is a thrill to play teams like Canada (which is made up entirely of NHL players and is coached by the Great One).
I mean who has the chance to play hockey against NHL players? Don't regular Joes pay money to do that while on dream vacations?
Sure, the Italians got walloped, but they got the experience to play against the best of the best. Now surely as a weaker team there is something that can be learned from that.
Of course, one can argue it is unfair to put in teams that are NHL only.
The NHL teams dominate. And so, as of late, it usually always comes down to Canada and the U.S. (In fact, in women's hockey, it really is a two team tournament, because Canada and the U.S. will cakewalk to the final).
But I wonder if for hockey teams, like Italy (which has no NHL hockey members), if it is a thrill to play teams like Canada (which is made up entirely of NHL players and is coached by the Great One).
I mean who has the chance to play hockey against NHL players? Don't regular Joes pay money to do that while on dream vacations?
Sure, the Italians got walloped, but they got the experience to play against the best of the best. Now surely as a weaker team there is something that can be learned from that.
Of course, one can argue it is unfair to put in teams that are NHL only.
Foolish Games
Some of us have an ex that has nine lives.
You really loved him or her. They hurt you badly, as in "wrenching pain that brought you to your knees sobbing" badly.
But they have the power to win you back and hurt you again. Then win you back once more so they can hurt you.
But a part of you will always love them. And for that, you are always willing to give them a chance, and then another chance.
Two years go by, and you think they are out of your life completely, until you meet them on the street one day. You thought you were over them, but the very sight of them gives you the butterflies . . . so you give them another chance.
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." But fool me three times and then four, and then five times. . . well, it's because I live in faith that one day you'll grow up and stop fooling.
Many of us have an ex like that. The only way to escape him or her is if they get married and move to the other side of the world . . . Because no matter what they do, when they come calling, you can't say no to them.
There is always that part that loves them foolishly and unconditionally. And it is that love that drowns out whatever hate you should be feeling for them when you see them.
You really loved him or her. They hurt you badly, as in "wrenching pain that brought you to your knees sobbing" badly.
But they have the power to win you back and hurt you again. Then win you back once more so they can hurt you.
But a part of you will always love them. And for that, you are always willing to give them a chance, and then another chance.
Two years go by, and you think they are out of your life completely, until you meet them on the street one day. You thought you were over them, but the very sight of them gives you the butterflies . . . so you give them another chance.
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." But fool me three times and then four, and then five times. . . well, it's because I live in faith that one day you'll grow up and stop fooling.
Many of us have an ex like that. The only way to escape him or her is if they get married and move to the other side of the world . . . Because no matter what they do, when they come calling, you can't say no to them.
There is always that part that loves them foolishly and unconditionally. And it is that love that drowns out whatever hate you should be feeling for them when you see them.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Olympics
The Olympics . . . one of the few times in a blue moon that I actually pay attention to sports.
I think the appeal to me is watching people who live their dreams.
I like watching the all or nothing attitude. If you try big, you can fail big . . . or you can win big.
I think the appeal to me is watching people who live their dreams.
I like watching the all or nothing attitude. If you try big, you can fail big . . . or you can win big.
What it should look like...
"Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle." - Crystal Middlemas
Monday, February 13, 2006
Babies
You can tell a lot about yourself by how you react to other people's news.
For instance, my friend just told me she is pregnant with her second child. She is in the perfect position to start a family. She has a good job and so does her husband. Both are entitled to take shared maternity leave.
When she told me she was pregnant, I was like: "What are you kidding me? Are you crazy? Isn't one kid already enough?" Of course, I didn't say that out loud. Instead I said congratulations.
But I guess I'm a "one kid kind of gal" based on my reaction to her news. Because to me, one kid is probably enough of a handful. Why take on a second burden? Plus why put your body through the pain and discomfort for a second time? Isn't once enough?
For instance, my friend just told me she is pregnant with her second child. She is in the perfect position to start a family. She has a good job and so does her husband. Both are entitled to take shared maternity leave.
When she told me she was pregnant, I was like: "What are you kidding me? Are you crazy? Isn't one kid already enough?" Of course, I didn't say that out loud. Instead I said congratulations.
But I guess I'm a "one kid kind of gal" based on my reaction to her news. Because to me, one kid is probably enough of a handful. Why take on a second burden? Plus why put your body through the pain and discomfort for a second time? Isn't once enough?
Be mine...
Valentine's Day is like Christmas for some people. People in a relationship want the day to be perfect, but usually the day turns out to be anticlimatic.
And people who are alone end up feeling lonlier than normal.
It's just another commercial holiday aimed at selling greeting cards. It's a holiday that can make us feel miserable.
It's like Christmas.
Except unlike Christmas, it's okay to pretend that Valentine's Day doesn't exist. Push the day out of your mind. Make it a day like any other.
And people who are alone end up feeling lonlier than normal.
It's just another commercial holiday aimed at selling greeting cards. It's a holiday that can make us feel miserable.
It's like Christmas.
Except unlike Christmas, it's okay to pretend that Valentine's Day doesn't exist. Push the day out of your mind. Make it a day like any other.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Songs
I always laugh at myself whenever I discover that I have completely misheard the lyrics to a certain song.
I thought the words to a favourite punk song were: "My new job is a piece of sh*t." When it turns out the lyrics were in fact: "I need a job just to sleep in sheets." I guess my music isn't as vulgar as I thought it was.
My favourite example of mishearing the lyrics is when a friend of mine thought the words to the song "Bad Moon Rising" were: "There's a bathroom on the right," instead of "There's a bad moon on the rise."
I thought the words to a favourite punk song were: "My new job is a piece of sh*t." When it turns out the lyrics were in fact: "I need a job just to sleep in sheets." I guess my music isn't as vulgar as I thought it was.
My favourite example of mishearing the lyrics is when a friend of mine thought the words to the song "Bad Moon Rising" were: "There's a bathroom on the right," instead of "There's a bad moon on the rise."
Online Dating
The popularity of online dating is picking up.
Apparently some people are going on five or six dates a week thanks to online dating. Some people even go on three or four dates a night.
These serial daters know what they want in a partner, so they give each of their dates a 20-minute in-person interview. And when that person turns out to not be the one, it is out the door for them.
Can you really screen people that quickly? Doesn't romance take time to grow?
If you go through dates so quickly, won't you be too cynical to know when the right person comes along. Yeah, sure that person might like dogs, and you cats. But still if given a chance . . . it can go somewhere. Can't it?
Since when did dating become like a job interview? Can love really be found that way?
Apparently some people are going on five or six dates a week thanks to online dating. Some people even go on three or four dates a night.
These serial daters know what they want in a partner, so they give each of their dates a 20-minute in-person interview. And when that person turns out to not be the one, it is out the door for them.
Can you really screen people that quickly? Doesn't romance take time to grow?
If you go through dates so quickly, won't you be too cynical to know when the right person comes along. Yeah, sure that person might like dogs, and you cats. But still if given a chance . . . it can go somewhere. Can't it?
Since when did dating become like a job interview? Can love really be found that way?
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Loneliness
"My love life was getting so bland. There are only so many ways I can make love with my hand. Sometimes it makes me want to laugh. Sometimes I want to take my toaster in the bath."- Blink 182
Sometimes you wonder if that box of condoms you keep in your underwear drawer is going to expire before you have sex again . . . even if the expiry date is two years away.
Sometimes you wonder if that box of condoms you keep in your underwear drawer is going to expire before you have sex again . . . even if the expiry date is two years away.
Fatal Attraction
Apparently, the easiest way to make a woman who is a six look like a 10 is to act jealous when your man checks her out.
Instead, it is best to act like you don't even notice her. Just act like everything is normal and cool. Continue to carry on the conversation and he'll think you're the 10.
Instead, it is best to act like you don't even notice her. Just act like everything is normal and cool. Continue to carry on the conversation and he'll think you're the 10.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Rejection
A rejection is a blow to our ego, especially when it is by someone we really liked.
Rejection can have us running to our mirrors to examine our warts and all. And if you get rejected enough, you begin to look for the mutant tail possibly growing from your behind.
Rejection can get you wanting to make a cocoon of your blanket, so you never have to leave your bed again.
Is it you? Are you really a horrible person? Or is it them? Do they just not know what they are missing? They just don't get you.
After a long dry spell in your dating life, should you give up and accept your life as a singleton?
"When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?" Carrie Bradshaw asked on Sex and the City.
But, then again, is their love out their for everyone?
We can't give up hope.
Rejection can have us running to our mirrors to examine our warts and all. And if you get rejected enough, you begin to look for the mutant tail possibly growing from your behind.
Rejection can get you wanting to make a cocoon of your blanket, so you never have to leave your bed again.
Is it you? Are you really a horrible person? Or is it them? Do they just not know what they are missing? They just don't get you.
After a long dry spell in your dating life, should you give up and accept your life as a singleton?
"When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?" Carrie Bradshaw asked on Sex and the City.
But, then again, is their love out their for everyone?
We can't give up hope.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Loudness
I always find it amusing, after spending an early morning in quiet solitude, when I jump after getting into my car and being blown away by the blaring punk CD I left in my player.
Upon starting my car this morning, my moment of solitude was broken with the lines: "My new job is a piece of sh*t." Ah, you have to love punk music - so blunt and to the point.
Upon starting my car this morning, my moment of solitude was broken with the lines: "My new job is a piece of sh*t." Ah, you have to love punk music - so blunt and to the point.
Singleton Sports Pages
Seniors read the obituaries with a great deal of interest, as they are sadly getting to the age when everyone they know is passing away.
Twenty and thirty-somethings read the wedding announcements so they can count the people they know, or once knew, that are getting married.
When you're single in your late 20s and early 30s you can usually count, with one hand, the number of friends you have who are still single.
When you are in your late 30s and early 40s, you may likely be able to count, with both hands, the number of friends you have that are divorced.
Perhaps this is because people get married too quickly. And maybe, subconsciously, they do it for the sake of getting married. They overlook a person's problem qualities because they want them to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Twenty and thirty-somethings read the wedding announcements so they can count the people they know, or once knew, that are getting married.
When you're single in your late 20s and early 30s you can usually count, with one hand, the number of friends you have who are still single.
When you are in your late 30s and early 40s, you may likely be able to count, with both hands, the number of friends you have that are divorced.
Perhaps this is because people get married too quickly. And maybe, subconsciously, they do it for the sake of getting married. They overlook a person's problem qualities because they want them to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Singleton Sports Pages
Seniors read the obituaries with a great deal of interest, as they are sadly getting to the age when everyone they know is passing away.
Twenty and thirty-somethings read the wedding announcements so they can count the people they know, or once knew, that are getting married.
When you're single in your late 20s and early 30s you can usually count, with one hand, the number of friends you have who are still single.
When you are in your late 30s and early 40s, you may likely be able to count, with both hands, the number of friends you have that are divorced.
Perhaps this is because people get married too quickly. And maybe, subconsciously, they do it for the sake of getting married. They overlook a person's problem qualities because they want them to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Twenty and thirty-somethings read the wedding announcements so they can count the people they know, or once knew, that are getting married.
When you're single in your late 20s and early 30s you can usually count, with one hand, the number of friends you have who are still single.
When you are in your late 30s and early 40s, you may likely be able to count, with both hands, the number of friends you have that are divorced.
Perhaps this is because people get married too quickly. And maybe, subconsciously, they do it for the sake of getting married. They overlook a person's problem qualities because they want them to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
True Dat!
"We were having one of those great first dates you can only have when it's not an actual date." -Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
We've all been there.
We've all been there.
Weighty Matters.
"Never give anyone you're dating a diet book." -Life's Little Instruction Calendar Volume XI
Thank you Captain Obvious!!
But really what do you do if the person you are dating starts putting on a little weight, or a lot of weight. If you really like them, it shouldn't matter. Should it?
Thank you Captain Obvious!!
But really what do you do if the person you are dating starts putting on a little weight, or a lot of weight. If you really like them, it shouldn't matter. Should it?
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Chocolate
I have a rule that I can only eat junkfood if it is given to me or if I buy it from charity.
Lately, there has been someone at work selling chocolate bars to raise money for amputees. It is sold by the honour system. They leave the chocolate bars in the lounge and whoever buys a chocolate bar leaves the money and takes a chocolate bar.
Anyhow I was buying a lot of chocolate bars - chocolate is my weakness - and was releaved when the bag of chocolate bars was emptied. But then, shortly after, another bag was brought in, and now a third ... and I keep buying chocolates.
I might as well give the charity my bank account number.
Lately, there has been someone at work selling chocolate bars to raise money for amputees. It is sold by the honour system. They leave the chocolate bars in the lounge and whoever buys a chocolate bar leaves the money and takes a chocolate bar.
Anyhow I was buying a lot of chocolate bars - chocolate is my weakness - and was releaved when the bag of chocolate bars was emptied. But then, shortly after, another bag was brought in, and now a third ... and I keep buying chocolates.
I might as well give the charity my bank account number.
On true love . . .
"Some people are settling down. Some people are settling. And some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." -Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
As for the people who won't settle for anything less than butterflies, are they expecting too much?
Maybe they'll never find their butterflies.
As for the people who won't settle for anything less than butterflies, are they expecting too much?
Maybe they'll never find their butterflies.
Monday, February 06, 2006
The Sequel: A single fear.
In Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 3, Episode 20), Anya, the demon-turned-human, who is still developing her first human feelings, asks Xander to the prom.
Because of Anya's demon past, she has a lot of contempt for men. She was a demon who punished men who were unfaithful to their girlfriends and wives.
Anya: "I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them."
Xander: "Then why are you talking to me?"
Anya: "I don't have a date to the prom . . . All I know is I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me."
Despite the fact that she hates all men, she still couldn't go to the dance alone.
While that is an extreme example, many people feel they need a date . . . enough people to keep escort services busy anyway.
Why do we fear being alone? Why do so many people lack the ability to be alone?
Because of Anya's demon past, she has a lot of contempt for men. She was a demon who punished men who were unfaithful to their girlfriends and wives.
Anya: "I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them."
Xander: "Then why are you talking to me?"
Anya: "I don't have a date to the prom . . . All I know is I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me."
Despite the fact that she hates all men, she still couldn't go to the dance alone.
While that is an extreme example, many people feel they need a date . . . enough people to keep escort services busy anyway.
Why do we fear being alone? Why do so many people lack the ability to be alone?
Napoleon Dynamite Days
There are days when I feel like Napoleon Dynamite, where I probably look like an eccentric weirdo.
Like today, when I was out in the cold, walking up the hill near my work. I had my big Sorel boots on and a plastic bag in hand. I had my scarf around my face and my toque on, looking like a kindergarten kid wrapped up by her mother, on her way to school. But hey, it was really cold out!
I'm sure I had a ho-hum look on my face and was probably walking slow and without purpose. I probably could have been one of those characters right out of Napoleon Dynamite (had it been shot in the winter and in a place that gets snow).
But what can I say, it was one of those days.
Like today, when I was out in the cold, walking up the hill near my work. I had my big Sorel boots on and a plastic bag in hand. I had my scarf around my face and my toque on, looking like a kindergarten kid wrapped up by her mother, on her way to school. But hey, it was really cold out!
I'm sure I had a ho-hum look on my face and was probably walking slow and without purpose. I probably could have been one of those characters right out of Napoleon Dynamite (had it been shot in the winter and in a place that gets snow).
But what can I say, it was one of those days.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
A point on men.
There is a telling scene about men in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season Three, Episode 20) when Anya, a demon turned human, who is just starting to gain human feelings, asks Xander to the prom.
Xander is resistant, so Anya says: "Look I know you find me attractive. I see you looking at my breasts."
Xander says: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open." (It doesn't mean that he likes her).
But in the end, Xander goes with Anya because he doesn't have any other potential dates for the prom.
Sometimes I think if a man really wants to get laid, or really wants a date to the prom, or whatever, he will lower the bar and take the last woman standing if he must.
That's why there are prostitutes with three teeth who are able to maintain a steady business.
Xander is resistant, so Anya says: "Look I know you find me attractive. I see you looking at my breasts."
Xander says: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open." (It doesn't mean that he likes her).
But in the end, Xander goes with Anya because he doesn't have any other potential dates for the prom.
Sometimes I think if a man really wants to get laid, or really wants a date to the prom, or whatever, he will lower the bar and take the last woman standing if he must.
That's why there are prostitutes with three teeth who are able to maintain a steady business.
Morons
One of my favourite comic strips is Get Fuzzy, by Darby Conley. Sometimes I wish I could act like the cat Bucky, like when he calls Rob a moron:
Bucky: "Gee Robert . . . I never knew you spoke fluent moron. So were you a moron major in college, or did you listen to moron tapes in your car. Or did your parents both speak moronic as a first language."
There are some people I wish I could say that too.
Bucky: "Gee Robert . . . I never knew you spoke fluent moron. So were you a moron major in college, or did you listen to moron tapes in your car. Or did your parents both speak moronic as a first language."
There are some people I wish I could say that too.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Online Dating in a Nutshell
Take any one online dating site and look up one city. There can be 100s of locals listed.
But all those guys can be lumped into a few small categories. Let's look at some of those groups.
1) Recently Divorced with Kids: He's all like: "I've been out of the dating scene for a while. I love my kids. Here's a picture of me with a beer. I'm hip. I'm cool. I'm laid back." He's usually in his early to late 40s and sends "smiles" to all the 20-somethings on the site.
2) Shyness Issues Boy: He would never approach a girl in "real life," but online dating lets him sit back and let the dates come to him.
3) Buff, Bleach-Blond Hair Boy - These boys are processed cheese. The cookie-cutter pretty boys. You've seen one. You've seen them all. They lack in real personality. And since they have an image to maintain, do not apply unless you are a tall, attractive cookie-cutter blond.
4) "I'm just here to see what's out there, but not looking for a relationship" Player - Enough said. Stay away from him, the "he used to date my cousin and he cheated on her" types.
5) "No real concept of what I look like" Guy - Some people say they are muscular, fit or average in their profiles . . . and in reality . . . not so much. I like these people who are honest and tuned into reality.
These are just some of the online dating categories. Aren't stereotypes fun? And yes, the same categories can apply to girls.
Oh sure, there are guys online that fall into the nice guy, keeper categories. But who wants to make fun of them?
But all those guys can be lumped into a few small categories. Let's look at some of those groups.
1) Recently Divorced with Kids: He's all like: "I've been out of the dating scene for a while. I love my kids. Here's a picture of me with a beer. I'm hip. I'm cool. I'm laid back." He's usually in his early to late 40s and sends "smiles" to all the 20-somethings on the site.
2) Shyness Issues Boy: He would never approach a girl in "real life," but online dating lets him sit back and let the dates come to him.
3) Buff, Bleach-Blond Hair Boy - These boys are processed cheese. The cookie-cutter pretty boys. You've seen one. You've seen them all. They lack in real personality. And since they have an image to maintain, do not apply unless you are a tall, attractive cookie-cutter blond.
4) "I'm just here to see what's out there, but not looking for a relationship" Player - Enough said. Stay away from him, the "he used to date my cousin and he cheated on her" types.
5) "No real concept of what I look like" Guy - Some people say they are muscular, fit or average in their profiles . . . and in reality . . . not so much. I like these people who are honest and tuned into reality.
These are just some of the online dating categories. Aren't stereotypes fun? And yes, the same categories can apply to girls.
Oh sure, there are guys online that fall into the nice guy, keeper categories. But who wants to make fun of them?
More than I can chew...
I hate when I agree to do something, thinking it won't take a lot of time.
But then when I finally sit down to do it, and I realize it is going to take hours, I try to stay calm.
Because, even though I'm thinking, "what was I thinking," if I don't do it, I'm going to be in huge trouble. People are relying on me.
I hate those situations.
But then when I finally sit down to do it, and I realize it is going to take hours, I try to stay calm.
Because, even though I'm thinking, "what was I thinking," if I don't do it, I'm going to be in huge trouble. People are relying on me.
I hate those situations.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Advice
"Whether you've been complimented or criticized, consider the source." - Life's Little Instruction Calendar Volume XI.
A resolution
In the movie "Bridget Jones's Diary," Bridget swears off forming any romantic attachments to:
"alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits" and "perverts."
I think most women regularly have problems with men who are commitment-phobics, megalomaniacs and emotional fuckwits.
An example of an emotional fuckwit.
When a guy tells his girlfriend that it is not his job to support her emotionally the first time she confides in him about a problem regarding her job.
He then doesn't get why she breaks up with him right then and there.
Fuckwit: A person who is not only lacking in clue, but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions.
"alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits" and "perverts."
I think most women regularly have problems with men who are commitment-phobics, megalomaniacs and emotional fuckwits.
An example of an emotional fuckwit.
When a guy tells his girlfriend that it is not his job to support her emotionally the first time she confides in him about a problem regarding her job.
He then doesn't get why she breaks up with him right then and there.
Fuckwit: A person who is not only lacking in clue, but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Just Friends
Why is it when people are breaking up they agree to remain friends?
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
Just Friends
Why is it when people are breaking up they agree to remain friends?
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
Suspense
When will I learn that watching a few episodes of a dramatic TV series on DVD before I go to bed is a bad idea.
Each episode always ends on a cliffhanger, so I have to watch the next one and then the next one until it is way past my usual bedtime.
It's not even worth it really, since the resolutions of these cliffhangers are usually anticlimactic.
Each episode always ends on a cliffhanger, so I have to watch the next one and then the next one until it is way past my usual bedtime.
It's not even worth it really, since the resolutions of these cliffhangers are usually anticlimactic.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
If only...
I think everyone's life would be 100 per cent better if, at the end of every week, we were given a three-day weekend. The only draw back would be if you were paid by the hour, then there would only be 32 working hours instead of 40.
Time is valuable.
Time is valuable.
Famous Last Words
You know a relationship is over when your significant other says: "We need to talk."
Those are words nobody wants to hear. And that doesn't just apply to dating.
Those are words nobody wants to hear. And that doesn't just apply to dating.
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