Why is it when people are breaking up they agree to remain friends?
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
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8 comments:
"Being friends" sounds nice, you know? Especially when you are breaking up with someone - it's the only concession you can offer.
But I agree, it doesn't really work out.
We always have to be nice, don't we? Even if what we are saying isn't true, it's all for the sake of being nice.
Nope it's never worked out with me. I think it's easier to make a clean break, especially if it was a pretty serious relationship.
The only people who I've been able to still be friends with are people who I was friends with beforehand. Everyone else, well I won't duck out of a room if I see them - lol
The Mad Dater,
"Because there's a bastard in all of us."
pghcitiboy,
I agree, clean breaks are especailly important if the relationship was serious.
But those are the hardest breaks to keep clean.
I got dragged through two years of hell when a serious boyfriend and I failed to make a clean break from each other.
Our "just friends" agreement got a little complicated. When emotions got the better of us, we would get a little too friendly, which would lead us to later having to be a little mean to make up for the over friendliness.
We were addicted to each other. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn't give each other up. Although, technically we were officially broken up.
Luckily, my work sent me to the sub-arctic for a year, and his work sent him to the Caribbean. That cured our addiction like a charm. It forced us to quit. Cold turkey.
Mad Dater,
Re: exes
I won't duck out a room either. Well, that is I won't duck out of a room if they see me first.
Cold Turkey...literally if you are in the arctic! Where are you, like in the Yukon region or something?? Are there any guys there at all?
Well, I was working in the Yukon for a little over a year. And the dating scene and bar scene up there are very different. I could write a book on it.
But I'm working down south now - south, as in the Canadian prairies.
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