Some of us have an ex that has nine lives.
You really loved him or her. They hurt you badly, as in "wrenching pain that brought you to your knees sobbing" badly.
But they have the power to win you back and hurt you again. Then win you back once more so they can hurt you.
But a part of you will always love them. And for that, you are always willing to give them a chance, and then another chance.
Two years go by, and you think they are out of your life completely, until you meet them on the street one day. You thought you were over them, but the very sight of them gives you the butterflies . . . so you give them another chance.
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." But fool me three times and then four, and then five times. . . well, it's because I live in faith that one day you'll grow up and stop fooling.
Many of us have an ex like that. The only way to escape him or her is if they get married and move to the other side of the world . . . Because no matter what they do, when they come calling, you can't say no to them.
There is always that part that loves them foolishly and unconditionally. And it is that love that drowns out whatever hate you should be feeling for them when you see them.
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12 comments:
Ahh, more insight into your love life plight! I've never gotten back together with someone after two years. Wow. I wouldn't think it were possible. Would *I* want to with anyone from past? Meditate on this, I must.
Are you sure it's love? Maybe it's an obsession. Sometimes you just want what you can't have. If you know it's bad, let it go.
I think there is a grey area where you and your sig other break up and come back together like magnets as if nothing happened. I have fallen into the habit of using that grey area as the excuse "we were just fighting" and assuming the breakup never occurred.
I'm trying to break that nasty habit because it has always just ended up being the same sh*t, different day... and the relationship just ended up being drawn out and creating more misery and a worse breakup in the future.
My ex actually married someone he dated in high school, they broke up, then met again years later. They're divorced now.
I've also heard some great romances that occurred between high school sweethearts that were split apart by college or moving or whatever only to meet later in life and find that their love never faded.
Although hindsight is 20/20, I agree that it is very difficult to distinguish between feelings that never faded, and loneliness finding comfort in something familiar.
I think part of it is the comfort you had/have in that relationship. You may not want that person, they may not be good for you, but like a nice big bowl of macaroni and cheese, there's comfort in it.
pgh,
Well, come to think of it, I wouldn't get back with anyone I dated either after two years - the only person who would tempt me ... well, he would have to play his cards extremely right... and if I end up with him that means I've truely given up on believing there is somebody better out there.
Luckily, the guy in question is too stupid to play his cards right.
pink oyster,
I think people become addictions. You get used to having them around and you have to wean yourself off them.
But when it comes to an addiction, an alcoholic doesn't necessarily want to be in a bar, because of the temptation.
Well, it's the same thing with somebody you used to date. You don't want them around because they tempt you.
In the case in question, I think it's a recovering addict coming into temptation.
MJ,
That's exactly what it is. It's like two magnets coming together to find comfort in the familiar.
It's difficult to break yourself off completely from someone . . . but in the end you learn you must.
Because, like you said, when you get back together with someone, even if it is a brief encounter, it only leads to more misery.
Married Guy Blogging,
I like that. It's exactly like macaroni and cheese.
hey dating life,
I stumbled on this website and found it very helpful for dating etc. Check it out.
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=79&Itemid=100
Thanks for thinking about me pink oyster. I'll have to check that out.
YES - People Become Addictions!
I am bookmarking this post (I made the title of the bookmark "Don't do it girl" lol) and will come back to it should any thoughts of getting back with "Dr. Love Bastard" cross my mind. Because that's good advice. Thanks
The Mad Dater,
Because there's a Bastard
MD, I don't know why so many girls find themselves such a sucker when it comes to certain guys... addiction is the only way I can explain it. Maybe we just get too attached.
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