There are the obvious heroes in society--the police, fire fighters, the neighbour that pulls you out of your house in a fire...
I would add the tow truck driver to that list. Who else is going to come at 3 a.m. to rescue you after you've done something stupid, like hang your car up on a meridian?
Tow truck drivers risk their lives helping you in your stupid moments. I recently met one tow truck driver who got hit by a speeding car while trying to help another person out of a ditch. The tow truck driver flew through the air and landed on top of his tow truck, breaking his back. His nine year career as a hero ended. After three back surgeries, and two years of recovery, he now cleans used cars at a sales lot.
A few weeks ago, a submerged pot hole took my car out. Even though I know enough to drive through puddles slowly, my rim was bent and my tire was damaged. The tow truck driver who came to my rescue was able to assess the damage, which later saved me from being ripped off from the first mechanic where I took my car. That mechanic said my car was far more damaged than it actually was, in hopes of earning a few extra bucks from my stupidity. I got a second and third opinion and realized the tow truck driver was right and the first mechanic was a con.
Tow truck drivers, they're heroes. Because I'm not going to be able to pull you out of a ditch at 3 a.m., even if you offer me $80.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Terrifying.
They built a glass skywalk over the Grand Canyon. While I'm not typically afraid of heights, the thought of standing on a glass platform over the Canyon freaks me out.
Although, if given the chance, I would take the walk. Apparently, it's like floating on air, until the wind starts to blow and you have to grab onto the railing to steady your knees.
Get this. You only get access to the glass deck if you sign up for a $50 tour package. Steep.
Although, if given the chance, I would take the walk. Apparently, it's like floating on air, until the wind starts to blow and you have to grab onto the railing to steady your knees.
Get this. You only get access to the glass deck if you sign up for a $50 tour package. Steep.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Down with the sickness...
I've been really sick lately with a throat infection, which came with a fever. At my worst, I couldn't talk at all and my left eye was swollen shut. It was pretty disgusting. I'm only now starting to get better.
What I hate about being sick is that you have to vanish off the face of the earth. I've missed a week's worth of karate and I'm still not up to going again yet. Not unless, I want to risk having some sort of uncontrollable coughing fit or just plain out collapsing.
When I first started getting sick, it was pretty hard to slow down the momentum of my life. There was too much on the go. "It's just a soar throat. I'm fine," I said. But when people started telling me to go home, I had to pack it up. Now I'm just sitting and waiting for my body to give me the go ahead to resume my life.
Sickness is like an annoying house guest. It doesn't call in advance to let you know it's coming. At the very least, sickness could tell you when it plans to leave. But it keeps saying "just one more day."
What I hate about being sick is that you have to vanish off the face of the earth. I've missed a week's worth of karate and I'm still not up to going again yet. Not unless, I want to risk having some sort of uncontrollable coughing fit or just plain out collapsing.
When I first started getting sick, it was pretty hard to slow down the momentum of my life. There was too much on the go. "It's just a soar throat. I'm fine," I said. But when people started telling me to go home, I had to pack it up. Now I'm just sitting and waiting for my body to give me the go ahead to resume my life.
Sickness is like an annoying house guest. It doesn't call in advance to let you know it's coming. At the very least, sickness could tell you when it plans to leave. But it keeps saying "just one more day."
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
The asylum...
Do you ever feel like you've seen something that cannot possibly be real?
The other day, I saw a guy trying to clear the frost off his car windshield by blowing on it with his mouth.
No kidding.
And then the day after that, I saw a guy running down the street in minus 20 degrees Celsius weather with no shirt on.
I mentioned this to a friend of mine and he said he's seen all that before.
Really?
The other day, I saw a guy trying to clear the frost off his car windshield by blowing on it with his mouth.
No kidding.
And then the day after that, I saw a guy running down the street in minus 20 degrees Celsius weather with no shirt on.
I mentioned this to a friend of mine and he said he's seen all that before.
Really?
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The straight and the curly of it.
There are two kinds of people in this world. Those with straight hair and those with curly hair.
I have curly hair. Up until very recently, my hair was very long. When it was wet and brushed straight, it was down to my butt. When dry and curly, it was more than midway down my back.
When curly hair starts to dry, the hair starts to curl more and shorten up, because the water isn't weighing the hair down anymore.
Most hairdressers have straight hair, so they don't get this concept.
So today, when I asked a hair dresser to cut my wet hair so it would hang two inches below my shoulder, it ended up hanging above my shoulder when it dried. Luckily, my hair looks okay. And, as a bonus, I'll spend significantly less time doing my hair in the morning.
Straight-haired people don't understand that really long thick curly hair can take up to an hour and a half to do in the morning. Most of that time is spent brushing it out. Today, it took two hair stylists 20 minutes to brush out my hair.
Now that my hair's short, it might take me 10 to 15 minutes to do my hair.
Straight-hair people don't understand that curly hair is a curse. I'm always told I have such beautiful curly hair, but people have no idea how much work goes into my hair.
Anyhow, the 11 inches of my "beautiful" curly locks that were cut off today are going to be donated to a wig maker.
The stylist just couldn't let my hair go to waste.
So weird.
I have curly hair. Up until very recently, my hair was very long. When it was wet and brushed straight, it was down to my butt. When dry and curly, it was more than midway down my back.
When curly hair starts to dry, the hair starts to curl more and shorten up, because the water isn't weighing the hair down anymore.
Most hairdressers have straight hair, so they don't get this concept.
So today, when I asked a hair dresser to cut my wet hair so it would hang two inches below my shoulder, it ended up hanging above my shoulder when it dried. Luckily, my hair looks okay. And, as a bonus, I'll spend significantly less time doing my hair in the morning.
Straight-haired people don't understand that really long thick curly hair can take up to an hour and a half to do in the morning. Most of that time is spent brushing it out. Today, it took two hair stylists 20 minutes to brush out my hair.
Now that my hair's short, it might take me 10 to 15 minutes to do my hair.
Straight-hair people don't understand that curly hair is a curse. I'm always told I have such beautiful curly hair, but people have no idea how much work goes into my hair.
Anyhow, the 11 inches of my "beautiful" curly locks that were cut off today are going to be donated to a wig maker.
The stylist just couldn't let my hair go to waste.
So weird.
Monday, February 26, 2007
The winner is...
I watched the Oscars for the first time in quite a while.
What made them enjoyable was the people who are overjoyed when they win. You know, the people who cry or jump up and down. It's nice to see people so genuinely thrilled, which can be a rare sight anywhere.
What made them enjoyable was the people who are overjoyed when they win. You know, the people who cry or jump up and down. It's nice to see people so genuinely thrilled, which can be a rare sight anywhere.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Back to the future...
Some predict that, in the future, computers will be smarter than humans, possibly within my lifetime.
Does this mean one day I can expect to be chased down by a Robert Patrick look-a-like, just because a computer nerd wants to live out some Terminator fantasy of his?
Damnit! This world is screwed up.
Does this mean one day I can expect to be chased down by a Robert Patrick look-a-like, just because a computer nerd wants to live out some Terminator fantasy of his?
Damnit! This world is screwed up.
Friday, February 16, 2007
In scope...
A useful thought from my horoscope the other day . . .
"What others think of you is just a projection of what you think of you."
"What others think of you is just a projection of what you think of you."
Monday, February 12, 2007
Buble Boy
I hate celebrities that whine publicly in an attempt to garner publicity, since any news is good news.
Recently, Michael Buble made headlines when he told Canadian Press he was going to boycott the Grammys because the award he was nominated nominated for -- best traditional pop album -- was not going to be given out during the live televised portion of the show. He also said Tony Bennett, who was nominated in the same category, was likely going to win, so there would be no point in going anyway.
Boo hoo Buble. Most musical artists aren't good enough, or don't have the sales, to be nominated for a Grammy, so quit whining.
Plus he said: "Red carpets suck . . . (People) don't know me. They don't want to talk to me."
Of course, people don't recognize you. You're a crooner and big band singer, plus you're Canadian. A lot of Americans aren't going to recognize you.
If you want to be recognized, join a boy band. Or you could just enjoy the privacy of being a lesser known celeb and shut up.
Buble decided to go to the Grammys in the end. The whole thing was probably a publicity stunt. But I say, if you're going to run your mouth, stand by your words.
Recently, Michael Buble made headlines when he told Canadian Press he was going to boycott the Grammys because the award he was nominated nominated for -- best traditional pop album -- was not going to be given out during the live televised portion of the show. He also said Tony Bennett, who was nominated in the same category, was likely going to win, so there would be no point in going anyway.
Boo hoo Buble. Most musical artists aren't good enough, or don't have the sales, to be nominated for a Grammy, so quit whining.
Plus he said: "Red carpets suck . . . (People) don't know me. They don't want to talk to me."
Of course, people don't recognize you. You're a crooner and big band singer, plus you're Canadian. A lot of Americans aren't going to recognize you.
If you want to be recognized, join a boy band. Or you could just enjoy the privacy of being a lesser known celeb and shut up.
Buble decided to go to the Grammys in the end. The whole thing was probably a publicity stunt. But I say, if you're going to run your mouth, stand by your words.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Say when...
"My aunt would say, 'say when,' and of course, we never did. We don't say 'when' because there is something about the possibility of more, more tequila, more love, more anything, because more is better ."
Although . . .
"There's something to be said about the glass half full, about knowing when to say 'when.' I think it's a floating line, a barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual and depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste, other times there is no such thing as enough. The glass is bottomless, and all we want is more." - Dr. Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy.
Although . . .
"There's something to be said about the glass half full, about knowing when to say 'when.' I think it's a floating line, a barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual and depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste, other times there is no such thing as enough. The glass is bottomless, and all we want is more." - Dr. Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Ashes to Ashes.
Did you know when you die you can have your ashes painted into a picture?
You can have them embedded into a man-made ocean reef. You can have them put into jewelry and given to a loved one to wear.
Motorcycle Memorials provides a whole line of motorcycle fuel tank urns.
Some people like to have their remains packed into shotgun shells and given to a hunter, who will presumably shoot them into a deer.
Check out Funeria for urns shaped like a rocket and others shaped like a cigar. Talk about putting fun back into the funeral.
Remember folks, coffins are not called coffins anymore. They're vessels.
You can have them embedded into a man-made ocean reef. You can have them put into jewelry and given to a loved one to wear.
Motorcycle Memorials provides a whole line of motorcycle fuel tank urns.
Some people like to have their remains packed into shotgun shells and given to a hunter, who will presumably shoot them into a deer.
Check out Funeria for urns shaped like a rocket and others shaped like a cigar. Talk about putting fun back into the funeral.
Remember folks, coffins are not called coffins anymore. They're vessels.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Weathering People.
There needs to be a weather forecast system for people.
One you could check before meeting up with someone. It would be nice to know if someone is going to be sunny and clear.
Storm warnings would be particularly helpful. That way no one could unexpectedly come in like a tornado, blow you over and be gone again, leaving you to clean up the disaster area.
Mind you, it's not always easy to predict the weather. Those dark clouds can sneak up from anywhere. It seems they can follow you.
One you could check before meeting up with someone. It would be nice to know if someone is going to be sunny and clear.
Storm warnings would be particularly helpful. That way no one could unexpectedly come in like a tornado, blow you over and be gone again, leaving you to clean up the disaster area.
Mind you, it's not always easy to predict the weather. Those dark clouds can sneak up from anywhere. It seems they can follow you.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Pain and Anger.
"There is no pain. Pain only exists if you allow it," says one of my karate instructors.
I agree completely.
Lately, I've gotten good at compartmentalizing both my physical and emotional pain.
It doesn't mean I don't feel. I just take a few deep breaths and let it go.
If you give into your pain, you run the risk of losing control.
I suppose the same is true with anger.
I agree completely.
Lately, I've gotten good at compartmentalizing both my physical and emotional pain.
It doesn't mean I don't feel. I just take a few deep breaths and let it go.
If you give into your pain, you run the risk of losing control.
I suppose the same is true with anger.
Monday, February 05, 2007
A crazy wacky world.
There are about 540,000 words in the English language, which is five times as many words as there were in Shakespeare's time, according to Richard Saul Wurman, author of Information Anxiety.
You can thank science and technology for this.
Wurman also says a week's worth of New York Times contains more information than someone in the 17th century was likely to come across in a lifetime.
In one year, an average person will read 3,000 notices and forms, read 100 newspapers and 36 magazines, watch 2,463 hours of television, listen to 730 hours of radio, talk on the telephone for 61 hours and read three books.
Add to that what you read on the Internet and it gets pretty crazy.
You can thank science and technology for this.
Wurman also says a week's worth of New York Times contains more information than someone in the 17th century was likely to come across in a lifetime.
In one year, an average person will read 3,000 notices and forms, read 100 newspapers and 36 magazines, watch 2,463 hours of television, listen to 730 hours of radio, talk on the telephone for 61 hours and read three books.
Add to that what you read on the Internet and it gets pretty crazy.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Purity and Beauty.
Albert Einstein wrote: “Mozart is of such purity and beauty that one feels he merely ‘found’ it–that it has always existed as part of the inner beauty of the universe waiting to be revealed.”
If only art were created that way.
If only we could stumble upon beauty or a sadness and turn it into art so easily.
I wonder how hard Mozart had to work to make his music seem so simple and transparent. Creating the illusion of simplicity often takes the most work of all.
When art is complex, it's easier for its creator to hide behind those complexities.
If only art were created that way.
If only we could stumble upon beauty or a sadness and turn it into art so easily.
I wonder how hard Mozart had to work to make his music seem so simple and transparent. Creating the illusion of simplicity often takes the most work of all.
When art is complex, it's easier for its creator to hide behind those complexities.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Dinged.
In life, always expect the unexpected--the annoyingly inconvenient type, not the happy good kind. (Expecting the happy goods, only leads to disappointment).
My car was backed into today by a monstrous SUV. It did some damage.
Luckily, the lady who did it was honest enough to go door knocking to find the owner of the vehicle (me).
I later spent an hour on the phone talking with an insurance person--most of that time was spent on hold, of course.
I now have to wait two weeks in order to have the damage assessed by an adjuster before I can take my car in to be repaired.
And I need to find a shop that does decent body work.
Damn the unexpected.
My car was backed into today by a monstrous SUV. It did some damage.
Luckily, the lady who did it was honest enough to go door knocking to find the owner of the vehicle (me).
I later spent an hour on the phone talking with an insurance person--most of that time was spent on hold, of course.
I now have to wait two weeks in order to have the damage assessed by an adjuster before I can take my car in to be repaired.
And I need to find a shop that does decent body work.
Damn the unexpected.
Friday, February 02, 2007
It's not easy being a fluff ball.
It's not easy being a cat with the whole hairball thing and all.
The other night I woke up to the sound of my cat retching. She was on my bed, so without thinking I pushed her off so she could throw up on the floor.
Afterwards I thought that wasn't very nice. I wouldn't like to be pushed off the bed if I were trying to throw up.
It's a good thing cats can land on their feet.
The other night I woke up to the sound of my cat retching. She was on my bed, so without thinking I pushed her off so she could throw up on the floor.
Afterwards I thought that wasn't very nice. I wouldn't like to be pushed off the bed if I were trying to throw up.
It's a good thing cats can land on their feet.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Shut-up and bring me my food!
I hate creepy middle-aged men who obnoxiously flirt with young waitresses like they have a chance.
Today, this loud-mouthed jerk, who was sitting between the kitchen and my table, kept trying to chat up the waitress while she was en route with my water, then my food and later the bill.
The guy probably delayed my meal by 30 minutes by grabbing the waitress and asking her a stupid 20 questions while she was trying to bring out my food. Questions like if she'd ever been to Mexico before. He had been.
I was ready to get up and punch the guy out for her, so I could get my food and eat it in peace.
Today, this loud-mouthed jerk, who was sitting between the kitchen and my table, kept trying to chat up the waitress while she was en route with my water, then my food and later the bill.
The guy probably delayed my meal by 30 minutes by grabbing the waitress and asking her a stupid 20 questions while she was trying to bring out my food. Questions like if she'd ever been to Mexico before. He had been.
I was ready to get up and punch the guy out for her, so I could get my food and eat it in peace.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thanks a lot. Really.
I checked next week's forecast online.
I have an old friend coming in from out of town next week, and I was curious to see if the weather was going to be nice to him during his visit.
Well, there's a high of -4 degrees Celsius and a low of -22 degrees Celsius. That's pretty much the forecast for the whole week.
Basically, it's going to be kind of warm out or kind of cold out. It's good to know the weather could go either way. Though I already knew that before I checked the weather.
That's why meteorologists get paid the big bucks, folks.
I have an old friend coming in from out of town next week, and I was curious to see if the weather was going to be nice to him during his visit.
Well, there's a high of -4 degrees Celsius and a low of -22 degrees Celsius. That's pretty much the forecast for the whole week.
Basically, it's going to be kind of warm out or kind of cold out. It's good to know the weather could go either way. Though I already knew that before I checked the weather.
That's why meteorologists get paid the big bucks, folks.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Friendship
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Friendships are a lot of work. It's very easy to get wrapped up in the here and now of your own life and lose touch with a friend.
And it's easy to assume that everyone already has their own life and isn't interested in hanging out with you, but you don't know until you ask.
According to Life's Little Instruction Calendar Volume XI: "The words, 'Would you like to join me for coffee?' can result in one of the greatest romances of all time." I would add to that friendships as well.
Friendships are a lot of work. It's very easy to get wrapped up in the here and now of your own life and lose touch with a friend.
And it's easy to assume that everyone already has their own life and isn't interested in hanging out with you, but you don't know until you ask.
According to Life's Little Instruction Calendar Volume XI: "The words, 'Would you like to join me for coffee?' can result in one of the greatest romances of all time." I would add to that friendships as well.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Premature
I am not a fan of toilets that flush automatically, mainly because of premature flushing.
If a toilet flushes while you are sitting down, instead of standing up, you end up getting a bidet experience.
If a toilet flushes while you are sitting down, instead of standing up, you end up getting a bidet experience.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Rest in Peace.
Why is it we get so attached to our favourite actors and the characters they play? It's not like we know them personally.
I've been watching the TV show Angel lately.
In typical Joss Whedon style, one of the main characters, Doyle, was killed off unexpectedly.
I was so upset, I almost cried. Whedon builds characters so well. I felt like I lost a friend.
Anyhow, Doyle was played by Glenn Quinn, probably better known for his role on Roseanne. He was Mark, Becky's husband.
Anyhow, like his character in Angel, Quinn killed himself. Except instead of a heroic act to save a group of immigrants, like in Angel, Quinn killed himself by overdosing on heroin at the age of 32.
When I found that out, I was even more depressed.
Whedon, by the way, got his start writing for Roseanne.
I've been watching the TV show Angel lately.
In typical Joss Whedon style, one of the main characters, Doyle, was killed off unexpectedly.
I was so upset, I almost cried. Whedon builds characters so well. I felt like I lost a friend.
Anyhow, Doyle was played by Glenn Quinn, probably better known for his role on Roseanne. He was Mark, Becky's husband.
Anyhow, like his character in Angel, Quinn killed himself. Except instead of a heroic act to save a group of immigrants, like in Angel, Quinn killed himself by overdosing on heroin at the age of 32.
When I found that out, I was even more depressed.
Whedon, by the way, got his start writing for Roseanne.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
A new beginning...
Beginnings are always rough as you struggle to gain familiarity.
I've been doing karate for five or six years now. My intensity and skill have gone up significantly enough that last spring I was invited to train with the provincial team.
I was feeling pretty good about myself, because it was a long sought after dream of mine. Then I showed up at the first team practice and it was a nightmare. I couldn't keep up and I had my butt kicked by all the team veterans.
So finally I decided I was going to get into better shape, to at least keep up.
Cardio fitness and core muscle strength are important parts of karate. So this year, I signed up for aerobic classes and ball stability classes.
I've always said the more I train karate, the more I feel like a beginner. (There are only so many moves in karate, but there is always something new to learn about executing those moves.) But I forgot what it was like to be a real beginner.
On the first day of aerobics, which is basically an intense dance class, I was stumbling all over my feet. And the ball stability class . . . well, at one point, I fell off the ball, dropping my barbells.
When I started karate I was bad, a stumbling idiot. It took me a year and a half to really catch on.
And now, luckily, by the second aerobics class, the steps were a little easier.
I've been doing karate for five or six years now. My intensity and skill have gone up significantly enough that last spring I was invited to train with the provincial team.
I was feeling pretty good about myself, because it was a long sought after dream of mine. Then I showed up at the first team practice and it was a nightmare. I couldn't keep up and I had my butt kicked by all the team veterans.
So finally I decided I was going to get into better shape, to at least keep up.
Cardio fitness and core muscle strength are important parts of karate. So this year, I signed up for aerobic classes and ball stability classes.
I've always said the more I train karate, the more I feel like a beginner. (There are only so many moves in karate, but there is always something new to learn about executing those moves.) But I forgot what it was like to be a real beginner.
On the first day of aerobics, which is basically an intense dance class, I was stumbling all over my feet. And the ball stability class . . . well, at one point, I fell off the ball, dropping my barbells.
When I started karate I was bad, a stumbling idiot. It took me a year and a half to really catch on.
And now, luckily, by the second aerobics class, the steps were a little easier.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Love/Hate
I hate food that has a smell that lingers on your clothes.
I just came back from having Indian Food. It tasted good, but, two hours later, the smell is starting to get to me.
I'll probably have to change my clothes.
I just came back from having Indian Food. It tasted good, but, two hours later, the smell is starting to get to me.
I'll probably have to change my clothes.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Behind these walls...
Neighbouring apartment tenants are always interesting to listen to through the walls. It's not that you want to listen to them. It's just that apartment walls are so thin.
I used to live beside sadomasochists once. That was disturbing. I used to live beside a guy who talked to himself while playing video games, which was also disturbing.
Now I live beside someone who watches Friends around the clock. And my other neighbour has two-day long parties with all of his closest male friends.
What's my contribution to my apartment's noise pollution?
Well, lately, I like to sing James Blunt songs in falsetto, with or without the CD to accompany me. I'm sure my neighbours love me, especially since I can't sing.
On Sex and the City, they would call my singing "secret single behavior," an activity you engage in when no one else is around.
For me, I like to sing, but I'll never let anyone hear me do it. Well, hearing me through the walls is okay, as long as I don't know the people listening.
I used to live beside sadomasochists once. That was disturbing. I used to live beside a guy who talked to himself while playing video games, which was also disturbing.
Now I live beside someone who watches Friends around the clock. And my other neighbour has two-day long parties with all of his closest male friends.
What's my contribution to my apartment's noise pollution?
Well, lately, I like to sing James Blunt songs in falsetto, with or without the CD to accompany me. I'm sure my neighbours love me, especially since I can't sing.
On Sex and the City, they would call my singing "secret single behavior," an activity you engage in when no one else is around.
For me, I like to sing, but I'll never let anyone hear me do it. Well, hearing me through the walls is okay, as long as I don't know the people listening.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Living for the weekend...
Why do weeks with stat holidays in them drag?
You get a short work-week. It should go by quickly, but it never does.
You get a short work-week. It should go by quickly, but it never does.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Keeping it real.
Someone just e-mailed me these fine words of wisdom:
"People seem normal until you get to know them, so be brief with people."
"People seem normal until you get to know them, so be brief with people."
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Quiet Time.
After having to rescue a total stranger from a drug overdose last New Year's Eve, and having a party guest throw up in my washing machine two New Year's Eves ago, I decided it would be best to spend a quiet New Year's at home this year with my family.
I was in bed by 11:59 p.m. and enjoyed the moonlight pouring in from my bedroom window, as well as the sound of fireworks from some distant party down the street. That moment was probably the best New Year's Eve I've ever had.
I was in bed by 11:59 p.m. and enjoyed the moonlight pouring in from my bedroom window, as well as the sound of fireworks from some distant party down the street. That moment was probably the best New Year's Eve I've ever had.
Monday, January 01, 2007
New Year's Eve Party
I don't get the whole "drinking yourself stupid on New Year's Eve" thing.
Who wants to start the New Year off with a hangover?
Who wants to start the New Year off with a hangover?
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Going to the movies.
When you go to a movie you are subjected to, literally, a half hour of commercials and previews. I know. I timed it. By the time the movie starts, you don't necessarily feel like watching a movie anymore. Either that or you've forgotten which movie it was you actually paid to see.
Friday, December 29, 2006
The Meaning of Life.
It's funny how a bad movie can turn out to be really good. You just need a few days to think about it.
I watched the movie Elizabethtown last week. I didn't think it was that great.
It was kind of boring. There was too much talking. I was expecting some light quick-paced romantic comedy. It wasn't.
Upon thinking about it, it was a lot more. It's about how we get so tunnel visioned in life.
In this case, up and coming shoe designer, Drew Baylor, spends eight years working on a shoe design that bombs once it hits the market.
"A shoe is not just a shoe. It connects us to the Earth." It's my favourite line in the movie, because we always find away to overrate what we do.
Of course, while Baylor was working on the perfect shoe, he missed spending time with his father, who dies right around the time his shoe design fails.
Baylor plans to kill himself, since his whole life, which was wrapped around a shoe, is over. Baylor is fired from his job and dropped by all his so-called-friends, who only cared about him when he was a success.
Baylor has to postpone his suicide plans to take care of his father's funeral arrangements. Along the way, he discovers there is a whole world out there that he's neglected because he was so focused on one goal.
I think the movie is true to life, although a little exaggerated. We do create our own little bubble of self-importance. We focus on one or two goals. And we can tend to shut others out while we work towards these goals.
So the question becomes, what are we missing in our lives? What should we let in to bring us more balance? You need to be balanced when the bubble pops. Otherwise, you'll fall, like Baylor almost did.
I watched the movie Elizabethtown last week. I didn't think it was that great.
It was kind of boring. There was too much talking. I was expecting some light quick-paced romantic comedy. It wasn't.
Upon thinking about it, it was a lot more. It's about how we get so tunnel visioned in life.
In this case, up and coming shoe designer, Drew Baylor, spends eight years working on a shoe design that bombs once it hits the market.
"A shoe is not just a shoe. It connects us to the Earth." It's my favourite line in the movie, because we always find away to overrate what we do.
Of course, while Baylor was working on the perfect shoe, he missed spending time with his father, who dies right around the time his shoe design fails.
Baylor plans to kill himself, since his whole life, which was wrapped around a shoe, is over. Baylor is fired from his job and dropped by all his so-called-friends, who only cared about him when he was a success.
Baylor has to postpone his suicide plans to take care of his father's funeral arrangements. Along the way, he discovers there is a whole world out there that he's neglected because he was so focused on one goal.
I think the movie is true to life, although a little exaggerated. We do create our own little bubble of self-importance. We focus on one or two goals. And we can tend to shut others out while we work towards these goals.
So the question becomes, what are we missing in our lives? What should we let in to bring us more balance? You need to be balanced when the bubble pops. Otherwise, you'll fall, like Baylor almost did.
Friday, December 22, 2006
The Christmas Spirit
I've just been to hell and back, braving the big box stores during the Christmas rush.
I normally avoid the big box area. Not only is it always crowded, but it's poorly designed. Whoever laid out the streets likely took his cat with him. Wherever his cat walked, that's where he laid down some pavement. There is no rhyme or reason to the crisscross of streets.
Anyhow, I went because I was desperate. I knew exactly what I wanted to get my brother, the last person on my list. I just couldn't find it, so I risked near collisions with bad drivers and rude shoppers in store after store after store.
The Christmas shopping is done now. My hard-earned money went straight from my bank account into the pockets of Best Buy and Winners. I'm just doing my part to make sure the rich stay rich and the poor get poorer.
While most of us are in financial debt in one way or another, we had no problem handing over $36.8 billion to stores during the month of December in 2005, according to Statistics Canada. This year our spending is supposed to increase six to seven per cent.
I think the left-leaning magazine Adbusters has it right. We should have a "Buy Nothing Christmas" and stick it to The Man. Of course, the economy might then collapse . . .
I normally avoid the big box area. Not only is it always crowded, but it's poorly designed. Whoever laid out the streets likely took his cat with him. Wherever his cat walked, that's where he laid down some pavement. There is no rhyme or reason to the crisscross of streets.
Anyhow, I went because I was desperate. I knew exactly what I wanted to get my brother, the last person on my list. I just couldn't find it, so I risked near collisions with bad drivers and rude shoppers in store after store after store.
The Christmas shopping is done now. My hard-earned money went straight from my bank account into the pockets of Best Buy and Winners. I'm just doing my part to make sure the rich stay rich and the poor get poorer.
While most of us are in financial debt in one way or another, we had no problem handing over $36.8 billion to stores during the month of December in 2005, according to Statistics Canada. This year our spending is supposed to increase six to seven per cent.
I think the left-leaning magazine Adbusters has it right. We should have a "Buy Nothing Christmas" and stick it to The Man. Of course, the economy might then collapse . . .
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Ghost of holidays past...
It's funny how some people can leave an imprint on your soul. Occasionally, the memory of them sneaks up on you, like an old ghost.
It doesn't matter that they hurt you years ago. And it's probably a good thing they live miles away. You haven't thought of them in a caring way in years, but suddenly you find yourself missing them deeply, even needing them.
You pick up the phone and put it down again. It's better to keep those feelings under lock and key.
It doesn't matter that they hurt you years ago. And it's probably a good thing they live miles away. You haven't thought of them in a caring way in years, but suddenly you find yourself missing them deeply, even needing them.
You pick up the phone and put it down again. It's better to keep those feelings under lock and key.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
It's a gamble.
You occasionaly hear of someone who steals hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years from their work to support a gambling habbit.
This doesn't make sense to me. I don't know what the maximum pot is at a casino, but if you are able to score $200,000 from your work without it going missing, I say, don't gamble it. Quit your job, take your newly claimed cash and move to another province, perhaps under a different name.
It will be like you won, but without all the hours in a casino.
This doesn't make sense to me. I don't know what the maximum pot is at a casino, but if you are able to score $200,000 from your work without it going missing, I say, don't gamble it. Quit your job, take your newly claimed cash and move to another province, perhaps under a different name.
It will be like you won, but without all the hours in a casino.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Living Skies
I am reading a collection of short stories by Angie Abdou called Anything Boys Can Do.
In the story "Shady Valley," Abdou has a nice description of Saskatchewan, a very underrated Canadian province.
"The sky is huge, enveloping them whole in a turquoise blue more brilliant than any tropical ocean. You can see and see and see and see - no trees or mountains blocking the view. The land rolls in a lullaby covered with bright yellow canola . . ."
People can easily admire the ocean or the mountains, but it takes a special eye to appreciate the vastness of the sky or of a field.
In the story "Shady Valley," Abdou has a nice description of Saskatchewan, a very underrated Canadian province.
"The sky is huge, enveloping them whole in a turquoise blue more brilliant than any tropical ocean. You can see and see and see and see - no trees or mountains blocking the view. The land rolls in a lullaby covered with bright yellow canola . . ."
People can easily admire the ocean or the mountains, but it takes a special eye to appreciate the vastness of the sky or of a field.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Blink of an Eye
December and January aren't real months to me. They just whip by in the blink of an eye.
I'm still not in Christmas mode yet, even though I've been to one Christmas concert, and one of the local radio stations switched to playing all Christmas music, all the time, for the month of December.
Technically, according to Wal-Mart, it's been Christmas since the day after Halloween. It amazes me how quickly they can reshelf their seasonal aisle.
Yes, I'm certainly not in Christmas mode, even though the media is already propelling towards the New Year. I saw my first "top stories of 2006" story.
Christmas is already old news before it happens now.
I'm still not in Christmas mode yet, even though I've been to one Christmas concert, and one of the local radio stations switched to playing all Christmas music, all the time, for the month of December.
Technically, according to Wal-Mart, it's been Christmas since the day after Halloween. It amazes me how quickly they can reshelf their seasonal aisle.
Yes, I'm certainly not in Christmas mode, even though the media is already propelling towards the New Year. I saw my first "top stories of 2006" story.
Christmas is already old news before it happens now.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Killers and Sins
A good friend of mine with a little too much time on his hands decided to anagram my name.
He came up with "seen any killers" and "really keen sins."
Yikes. Killers and sins? No fuzzy bunny rabbits for me. Perhaps it's appropriate because I covered the crime beat for two years as a journalist, which is why nothing phases me anymore.
Now I'm onto more uplifting subject matter - education and the arts, which is why nothing phases me.
He came up with "seen any killers" and "really keen sins."
Yikes. Killers and sins? No fuzzy bunny rabbits for me. Perhaps it's appropriate because I covered the crime beat for two years as a journalist, which is why nothing phases me anymore.
Now I'm onto more uplifting subject matter - education and the arts, which is why nothing phases me.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Poetry and Prose
A friend of mine was recently told she should stay clear of poetry and write fiction only. It was a prestigious literary editor that made the observation.
My friend's poetry wasn't making sense to anyone.
But I don't think she should give up on poetry. If it doesn't make sense, it probably means she was being abstract, instead of using concrete images. That's all. She can learn to use concrete images.
Poetry is a craft. It can be learned. I hate people who say give up instead of learn.
Mind you, I'm in limbo right now. In the last week, I got two rejections from literary magazines. One with a penciled note saying: "Interesting poems. Try us again later." And the other was a half page typed letter saying: "This is usable material. Now here's my critique..."
While those are better than your standard form rejections, it's still no publication.
My friend's poetry wasn't making sense to anyone.
But I don't think she should give up on poetry. If it doesn't make sense, it probably means she was being abstract, instead of using concrete images. That's all. She can learn to use concrete images.
Poetry is a craft. It can be learned. I hate people who say give up instead of learn.
Mind you, I'm in limbo right now. In the last week, I got two rejections from literary magazines. One with a penciled note saying: "Interesting poems. Try us again later." And the other was a half page typed letter saying: "This is usable material. Now here's my critique..."
While those are better than your standard form rejections, it's still no publication.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Path to Enlightenment
I have come to an obvious realization. That things only bother me if I let them.
I should not worry about what other people are doing. Yes, my neighbour plays his music too loud and the cocky kid in karate once again budded in front of me in line, even though he's a lower rank.
But it only bugs me, if I let it. To get angry isn't worth it. To greet an annoyance with patience and acceptance is a challenge worth taking . . . a very difficult challenge.
I should not worry about what other people are doing. Yes, my neighbour plays his music too loud and the cocky kid in karate once again budded in front of me in line, even though he's a lower rank.
But it only bugs me, if I let it. To get angry isn't worth it. To greet an annoyance with patience and acceptance is a challenge worth taking . . . a very difficult challenge.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Surprise Attacks
There are certain hazards to owning a cat
For instance, my cat has developed a recent fascination for shoe laces. I'll be tying up my boots and from out of no where my cat will lunge forth and attack my laces with great fury.
There's nothing more challenging than trying to tie your shoes with a cat taking swings at, not only your laces, but your hands. I've gotten a few scratches here and there.
Now I have to tie my shoes in hiding.
I wonder what a cat whisperer would have to say about that? Probably nothing my cat wouldn't laugh at.
For instance, my cat has developed a recent fascination for shoe laces. I'll be tying up my boots and from out of no where my cat will lunge forth and attack my laces with great fury.
There's nothing more challenging than trying to tie your shoes with a cat taking swings at, not only your laces, but your hands. I've gotten a few scratches here and there.
Now I have to tie my shoes in hiding.
I wonder what a cat whisperer would have to say about that? Probably nothing my cat wouldn't laugh at.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Hot Stuff
My girlfriends and I went to the hospital cafeteria for lunch today.
We do that from time to time, even though we aren't visiting anyone specific. The food is pretty good and so are the male nurses and young doctors who work there.
While there, I was thinking what would happen if there was a fire. It would be impossible to get all the patients out, especially those on oxygen or those out on the surgery table.
Hopefully, they have a good sprinkler system.
We do that from time to time, even though we aren't visiting anyone specific. The food is pretty good and so are the male nurses and young doctors who work there.
While there, I was thinking what would happen if there was a fire. It would be impossible to get all the patients out, especially those on oxygen or those out on the surgery table.
Hopefully, they have a good sprinkler system.
Monday, November 06, 2006
A Different Planet
It always amazes me how two people can watch the same movie, newscast or whatever and have a completely different opinion of what they saw.
Take for instance The Usual Suspects, which I thought was a total waste of time since I figured out the ending well before it ended.
I ruined it for the people I watched it with, because when you figure out a movie like that you have to make your predictions out loud. No one will ever believe you figured it out if you make your predictions after the movie.
I didn't think there was much to The Usual Suspects, but many people disagree.
Hence why there will always be conflict in the world. Our opinions, beliefs and perceptions are built of brick. It takes a lot to knock a brick structure down and it's always a chore to rebuild.
Take for instance The Usual Suspects, which I thought was a total waste of time since I figured out the ending well before it ended.
I ruined it for the people I watched it with, because when you figure out a movie like that you have to make your predictions out loud. No one will ever believe you figured it out if you make your predictions after the movie.
I didn't think there was much to The Usual Suspects, but many people disagree.
Hence why there will always be conflict in the world. Our opinions, beliefs and perceptions are built of brick. It takes a lot to knock a brick structure down and it's always a chore to rebuild.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Drama and Documentary
I went to the Laramie Project last night. Essentially the Laramie Project is a play about how the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard ripped apart the community of Laramie, Wyoming.
Instead of having a normal play structure with traditional acts and scenes, the Laramie Project was pieced together like a documentary with actors reciting actual interviews from the residents of Laramie.
The Techtonic Theatre company spent a lot of time in Laramie doing the interviews with the residents, so it was really neat to see what is essentially journalism in the form of drama.
Instead of having a normal play structure with traditional acts and scenes, the Laramie Project was pieced together like a documentary with actors reciting actual interviews from the residents of Laramie.
The Techtonic Theatre company spent a lot of time in Laramie doing the interviews with the residents, so it was really neat to see what is essentially journalism in the form of drama.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
T-Shirts
I was looking at my collection of t-shirts the other day, particularly those that were gifts from friends or family.
One says: "100 per cent Grade A B*tch"
Another says: "Do I look like a freakin' people person?"
A third says: "Does not play well with others"
And a fourth says: "You can't see me."
Hmm. Perhaps my friends are trying to tell me something?
One says: "100 per cent Grade A B*tch"
Another says: "Do I look like a freakin' people person?"
A third says: "Does not play well with others"
And a fourth says: "You can't see me."
Hmm. Perhaps my friends are trying to tell me something?
Friday, November 03, 2006
Hail the copycats!
Weapon of Choice, by Fatboy Slim, is a super cool video.
How can you go wrong with Chrisopher Walken dancing and flying through the air?
Now what's weird as that there has been more than one university student who has felt the need to copy this video.
Recently, both the University of Saskatchewan and McMaster University had students do so.
Although the U of S one is funny and the McMaster University one is okay, these students have way too much time on their hands.
Never have I felt the need to recreate a video, let alone post it to the Internet.
That said, when I saw the U of S video I had to send it to 50 of my bestest friends.
How can you go wrong with Chrisopher Walken dancing and flying through the air?
Now what's weird as that there has been more than one university student who has felt the need to copy this video.
Recently, both the University of Saskatchewan and McMaster University had students do so.
Although the U of S one is funny and the McMaster University one is okay, these students have way too much time on their hands.
Never have I felt the need to recreate a video, let alone post it to the Internet.
That said, when I saw the U of S video I had to send it to 50 of my bestest friends.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Weird
A young person, like me, who has the exact same name as I do, died on Monday.
As a result, I've been fielding phone calls. People want to know if I'm still alive.
Strange.
As a result, I've been fielding phone calls. People want to know if I'm still alive.
Strange.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
The Honest Truth
Honesty is deeply valued in our society. Yet no one really values the truth.
In fact, we're all a bunch of liars in one way or another.
Let's say you are at the store and the cashier asks you "how are you doing today?"
Your response will likely be good, even if you just came from the dentist after an intensive procedure. The freezing is wearing off and you feel a sudden wave of nausea.
If you were to be honest, you would say: "I'm actually in an immense amount of pain. I feel dizzy and about ready to throw up on your floor."
But no one wants to hear that and so you say: "I'm good. Thanks for asking."
In fact, we're all a bunch of liars in one way or another.
Let's say you are at the store and the cashier asks you "how are you doing today?"
Your response will likely be good, even if you just came from the dentist after an intensive procedure. The freezing is wearing off and you feel a sudden wave of nausea.
If you were to be honest, you would say: "I'm actually in an immense amount of pain. I feel dizzy and about ready to throw up on your floor."
But no one wants to hear that and so you say: "I'm good. Thanks for asking."
Saturday, October 28, 2006
The Internet
The cover story in this week's Macleans magazine is about why the Internet sucks.
The article notes that, at the dawn of the Internet age, idealists believed the world wide web would create an enlightened utopia.
In reality, Google's top 10 searches, last year, were Janet Jackson, hurricane Katrina, tsunami, xBox 360, Brad Pitt, Michael Jackson, American Idol, Britney Spear, Angelina Jolie and Harry Potter.
An enlightened utopia? I think not. I am proud to say I did not google any of those things last year. I did, however, google Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jake Gyllenhaal. And I like to think of myself as an intellectual. (I'll ignore the laughter).
So what if the Internet celebrates mediocrity through self-indulgent blogs of people who think they can write. And so what if the nut jobs on both the right and left use the Internet to call the mainstream media biased and manipulative because the media is not promoting their said values. If the Internet was gone tomorrow, I would be very disappointed that I couldn't look up the trivia I need to know, like how old my favourite Survivor player is.
The article notes that, at the dawn of the Internet age, idealists believed the world wide web would create an enlightened utopia.
In reality, Google's top 10 searches, last year, were Janet Jackson, hurricane Katrina, tsunami, xBox 360, Brad Pitt, Michael Jackson, American Idol, Britney Spear, Angelina Jolie and Harry Potter.
An enlightened utopia? I think not. I am proud to say I did not google any of those things last year. I did, however, google Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jake Gyllenhaal. And I like to think of myself as an intellectual. (I'll ignore the laughter).
So what if the Internet celebrates mediocrity through self-indulgent blogs of people who think they can write. And so what if the nut jobs on both the right and left use the Internet to call the mainstream media biased and manipulative because the media is not promoting their said values. If the Internet was gone tomorrow, I would be very disappointed that I couldn't look up the trivia I need to know, like how old my favourite Survivor player is.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Clouds
I'm not much of a joiner, but sometimes there is the odd band wagon you just can't help but jump on, like the Cloud Appreciation Society.
You're not healthy, unless you have an obsession.
You're not healthy, unless you have an obsession.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Just Justin
I was in my car tonight listening to JT's Justified album when the song "Take it from here" came on.
It begins with JT saying "Sometimes, sometimes the world gets hard."
And much to my surprise I said: "Tell me about it, Justin."
Unfortunately for me, Justin won't be my Broadway show on review, so he can act out how God was when he made me. (I'm not kidding, the lyrics are more or less along those lines).
It begins with JT saying "Sometimes, sometimes the world gets hard."
And much to my surprise I said: "Tell me about it, Justin."
Unfortunately for me, Justin won't be my Broadway show on review, so he can act out how God was when he made me. (I'm not kidding, the lyrics are more or less along those lines).
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Debt
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." - Mark Twain
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Worldly Fascinations
When the World Karate Tournament was hosted in Canada this past fall, there was a multicultural performance that included First Nation dancers in traditional garb.
The German karate team was very fascinated with the First Nation outfits and had their photos taken with the dancers. Many Canadians certainly would never show that same level of appreciation or interest.
Germans are interested in our "cowboy and Indian" history. I guess they have interests that extend beyond David Hasselhoff.
The German karate team was very fascinated with the First Nation outfits and had their photos taken with the dancers. Many Canadians certainly would never show that same level of appreciation or interest.
Germans are interested in our "cowboy and Indian" history. I guess they have interests that extend beyond David Hasselhoff.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Future Sex
I want to have FutureSex.
Why do I feel like a lesser person for wanting to buy a Justin Timberlake CD? I guess I don't feel justified in doing so.
Why do I feel like a lesser person for wanting to buy a Justin Timberlake CD? I guess I don't feel justified in doing so.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Candle Light
I went to my first candle party. It was pure hell. It made me feel cheap.
The seller of the candles, also known as the "consultant," was, of course, a young single mother trying to make a bit of extra cash. (And to be a consultant you have to buy your own catalogues, samples, etc. So the young mother likely had to put up a lot of cash to start this "business.")
The cheapest candle there was $32, but on average most of the merchandise ran for about $85 or more. Did I mention these were candles she was selling?
I'm a writer, so I don't make a lot of money. There is no way I'm dropping $32 on some candle I won't be able to use, because my cat will probably knock it over.
Of course, being the one person who doesn't buy anything, I won the door prize, which was probably paid for out of pocket by the young mother.
The idea behind these parties is that as a guest you are supposed to later volunteer your own home for a party for the consultant to come and sell candles to your own friends and families. Well, most of my friends and family are artists, writers, journalists or work in independent film. They don't have the money either for a $32 candle. So I certainly will not be hosting a party anytime soon.
In the end, I just ate the free food and left, feeling like a cheap and lowly impoverished human being.
The seller of the candles, also known as the "consultant," was, of course, a young single mother trying to make a bit of extra cash. (And to be a consultant you have to buy your own catalogues, samples, etc. So the young mother likely had to put up a lot of cash to start this "business.")
The cheapest candle there was $32, but on average most of the merchandise ran for about $85 or more. Did I mention these were candles she was selling?
I'm a writer, so I don't make a lot of money. There is no way I'm dropping $32 on some candle I won't be able to use, because my cat will probably knock it over.
Of course, being the one person who doesn't buy anything, I won the door prize, which was probably paid for out of pocket by the young mother.
The idea behind these parties is that as a guest you are supposed to later volunteer your own home for a party for the consultant to come and sell candles to your own friends and families. Well, most of my friends and family are artists, writers, journalists or work in independent film. They don't have the money either for a $32 candle. So I certainly will not be hosting a party anytime soon.
In the end, I just ate the free food and left, feeling like a cheap and lowly impoverished human being.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
New and Exciting.
Tonight, I made a great discovery - paranormal romance novels.
Does it get any better than that?
And I thought I knew everything, but apparently there's a whole genre of literature that was just waiting to be discovered.
Does it get any better than that?
And I thought I knew everything, but apparently there's a whole genre of literature that was just waiting to be discovered.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Knick Knacks
Why do we feel the need to buy things we don't need?
A few weekends ago, I bought a black rubber duckie. I certainly don't need it. I don't collect rubber duckies. I just thought it looked cool.
Today, I was very tempted to buy a Halloween snow globe. Little bats were mixed in with the snow. Again, not something I need.
If I was a millionaire, I would have a house full of useless (but very cool) knick knacks.
A few weekends ago, I bought a black rubber duckie. I certainly don't need it. I don't collect rubber duckies. I just thought it looked cool.
Today, I was very tempted to buy a Halloween snow globe. Little bats were mixed in with the snow. Again, not something I need.
If I was a millionaire, I would have a house full of useless (but very cool) knick knacks.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Slippage
"A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over." - Benjamin Franklin
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Word Choice
The word birthday sometimes seems strange to me. It is what it is. "Birth" day. It's so literal.
Couldn't we have come up with something more creative?
We don't call a couple's anniversary weddingday.
Although anniversary is a very generic word. Not only is an anniversary a time for romantic celebration, it can also be a time for mourning, as even Sept. 11 has an anniversary.
Maybe weddingday would be better word for a couple's anniversary. And Sept. 11 would be plane-takes-out-world-trade-centre day.
Couldn't we have come up with something more creative?
We don't call a couple's anniversary weddingday.
Although anniversary is a very generic word. Not only is an anniversary a time for romantic celebration, it can also be a time for mourning, as even Sept. 11 has an anniversary.
Maybe weddingday would be better word for a couple's anniversary. And Sept. 11 would be plane-takes-out-world-trade-centre day.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Insensitive
This month, both CSI NY and CSI Miami had real-life dead bodies turn up on set. Very odd coincidences.
Someone commented to me that this sort of coincidence was kind of cool.
Really? Have we been desensitized that much to think a real dead body turning up on the set of a TV murder-mystery type show is cool?
I think so.
Yep. I know it's sad.
And can anyone believe that we have three successful CSI shows on TV? Really, the shows are that popular? I guess Americans love David Caruso's melodrama as much as Germans love David Hasselhoff.
Every country needs their own David to love.
Someone commented to me that this sort of coincidence was kind of cool.
Really? Have we been desensitized that much to think a real dead body turning up on the set of a TV murder-mystery type show is cool?
I think so.
Yep. I know it's sad.
And can anyone believe that we have three successful CSI shows on TV? Really, the shows are that popular? I guess Americans love David Caruso's melodrama as much as Germans love David Hasselhoff.
Every country needs their own David to love.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Co-workers and Family
We spend more time with our co-workers than our own families. And sometimes all we have in common with those co-workers is the fact that we all just walk on the same piece of carpet for eight hours a day.
This was a very valid point brought up by Tim Canterbury on BBC's The Office. Sometimes TV can be so profound.
This was a very valid point brought up by Tim Canterbury on BBC's The Office. Sometimes TV can be so profound.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Haunting
Someone e-mailed me a photo of John Travolta in a loin cloth. It was a publicity shot taken early in his career. I bet he's embarrassed to see that photo now.
A writer friend of mine was asked to walk a tight rope to promote a book he wrote. They also wanted him to wear tights while he did this. He said no because he knew that if he did the photos would come back and haunt him.
The moral here is be careful what you do in front of a camera.
A writer friend of mine was asked to walk a tight rope to promote a book he wrote. They also wanted him to wear tights while he did this. He said no because he knew that if he did the photos would come back and haunt him.
The moral here is be careful what you do in front of a camera.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Modesty
Why is it when we are younger we seem to know everything?
When you listen to teenagers talk you want to say "shut up."
They are a little like David Brent on BBC's The Office - obnoxious know-it-alls who think they are comedians.
As you move into your 20s you are knocked down a few pegs. Perhaps you're not as comedic, but you still know a lot, even though life has taught you some tough lessons.
Does modesty come with age? I guess there is only one way to find out and that is to get old.
When you listen to teenagers talk you want to say "shut up."
They are a little like David Brent on BBC's The Office - obnoxious know-it-alls who think they are comedians.
As you move into your 20s you are knocked down a few pegs. Perhaps you're not as comedic, but you still know a lot, even though life has taught you some tough lessons.
Does modesty come with age? I guess there is only one way to find out and that is to get old.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Idol
This is the first year that I am not watching the Canadian Idol finale.
Normally there is at least one interesting person in the top two. Not this year. They are both a bunch of lightweights.
Winners of past shows are still around. Ryan Malcolm is fronting some band called Low Level Flight. Kalan Porter is working on a sophomore album with his BMG label.
Other idols are still active in the "scene," most notably Jacob Hoggard. You just have to do your homework to find these idols, because CTV is horrible for updating their "where are they now" page.
Some of the idols could be hugely popular today if they were marketed better. The public will buy anything if it is thrown in their face - just take that Paris Hilton song as an example.
Normally there is at least one interesting person in the top two. Not this year. They are both a bunch of lightweights.
Winners of past shows are still around. Ryan Malcolm is fronting some band called Low Level Flight. Kalan Porter is working on a sophomore album with his BMG label.
Other idols are still active in the "scene," most notably Jacob Hoggard. You just have to do your homework to find these idols, because CTV is horrible for updating their "where are they now" page.
Some of the idols could be hugely popular today if they were marketed better. The public will buy anything if it is thrown in their face - just take that Paris Hilton song as an example.
Monday, September 11, 2006
What is it good for?
"Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime." - Ernest Hemmingway
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Smile
I hate when random strangers tell you to smile.
To them, I want to say "shut up." Or, at the very least, put my acting skills to the test by crying and telling them my dog just died.
Why do some people feel it necessary that we should walk around smiling like idiots all the time?
I once had a job at a grocery store where the manager gave me hell for not smiling while I was taking out the trash. I was in the back room. No one could see me. But, apparently, I still had to keep up the appearance of a happy work place.
I don't know about you, but I prefer my smiles to be genuine, not forced.
To them, I want to say "shut up." Or, at the very least, put my acting skills to the test by crying and telling them my dog just died.
Why do some people feel it necessary that we should walk around smiling like idiots all the time?
I once had a job at a grocery store where the manager gave me hell for not smiling while I was taking out the trash. I was in the back room. No one could see me. But, apparently, I still had to keep up the appearance of a happy work place.
I don't know about you, but I prefer my smiles to be genuine, not forced.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Royalty
A friend of mine once observed that the Queen's wave is probably done in a small and controlled manner to reduce the amount of tricep extra skin jiggle one might expect from a woman of her age.
Perhaps this is true. I cannot test the theory as I lack a good tricep jiggle, due to some muscle I somehow acquired.
Although, I imagine even without the controlled wave, the Queen's jiggle is probably well-hidden, as I don't think she wears sleeveless shirts. Such clothing, I imagine is for the peasants, like me.
What am I saying? I don't wear sleeveless shirts either. Perhaps, this means that I'm of Royal blood. I've just fallen really, really far from the tree.
Perhaps this is true. I cannot test the theory as I lack a good tricep jiggle, due to some muscle I somehow acquired.
Although, I imagine even without the controlled wave, the Queen's jiggle is probably well-hidden, as I don't think she wears sleeveless shirts. Such clothing, I imagine is for the peasants, like me.
What am I saying? I don't wear sleeveless shirts either. Perhaps, this means that I'm of Royal blood. I've just fallen really, really far from the tree.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Transport
"The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Monday, September 04, 2006
Invincible
Every now and again someone you thought invincible dies.
Princess Di was one of those people. The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin was another. News of their passing kind of takes you by surprise.
Friends of mine always say if you are going to die young, it should be in a creative and unusual manner, like being killed by a hippopotamus. Being killed by a stingray is close enough, I guess.
There have only been about 30 stingray deaths worldwide in recent years, as stingrays are known to be quite gentle animals.
As a side note, I was amazed at how quickly Wikipedia posted the news of Steve Irwin's passing. It was almost as quick as the news wires. Wikipedia was also pretty quick to re-write his biography in past tense.
As another side note, did you know that hippos account for more human deaths than any other African mammal. I guess it's because they are rather territorial animals whose habitats are often trespassed upon by farmers and tourists.
Princess Di was one of those people. The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin was another. News of their passing kind of takes you by surprise.
Friends of mine always say if you are going to die young, it should be in a creative and unusual manner, like being killed by a hippopotamus. Being killed by a stingray is close enough, I guess.
There have only been about 30 stingray deaths worldwide in recent years, as stingrays are known to be quite gentle animals.
As a side note, I was amazed at how quickly Wikipedia posted the news of Steve Irwin's passing. It was almost as quick as the news wires. Wikipedia was also pretty quick to re-write his biography in past tense.
As another side note, did you know that hippos account for more human deaths than any other African mammal. I guess it's because they are rather territorial animals whose habitats are often trespassed upon by farmers and tourists.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Reindeer Games
Did you know reindeer and caribou are the same frickin' animal? It's true.
The animals are typically called reindeer when roaming wild in Scandinavia, Russia, Siberia and China. But when roaming wild in North America they are called caribou.
When I was first told this, I didn't believe it. I had to look it up myself, which hurt the feelings of my friend who told me this, as she thought I was questioning her credibility.
But, hey, I've worked in the journalism biz long enough to know you always get the information from more than one source, that way you know the info is probably true.
The animals are typically called reindeer when roaming wild in Scandinavia, Russia, Siberia and China. But when roaming wild in North America they are called caribou.
When I was first told this, I didn't believe it. I had to look it up myself, which hurt the feelings of my friend who told me this, as she thought I was questioning her credibility.
But, hey, I've worked in the journalism biz long enough to know you always get the information from more than one source, that way you know the info is probably true.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Who Cares?
Recently someone took offence that I used my blog to declare Nirvana's Nevermind as one of the greatest albums of my generation.
"Who says?" The person asked me. "And why should we care that you think that?"
Maybe this person is a little new to blogging, having asked "who says?"
For those of you who don't know, a blog typically has an "author," some Joe or Jane Blow, like myself. They then use the blog as an expression of "free speech."
Typically, the author writes the blog for themselves or for their friends, and if other people happen to read it, that's great.
If you don't care for what the blog author has to say then he or she would simply ask that you don't read their blog.
A blog author does not liken themselves to God delivering the 10 commandments. However, if you wish to take the blog author's writings as sacred, I'm sure the blog author would be very flattered.
If you have a problem with someone expressing their opinion then get off the Internet.
"Who says?" The person asked me. "And why should we care that you think that?"
Maybe this person is a little new to blogging, having asked "who says?"
For those of you who don't know, a blog typically has an "author," some Joe or Jane Blow, like myself. They then use the blog as an expression of "free speech."
Typically, the author writes the blog for themselves or for their friends, and if other people happen to read it, that's great.
If you don't care for what the blog author has to say then he or she would simply ask that you don't read their blog.
A blog author does not liken themselves to God delivering the 10 commandments. However, if you wish to take the blog author's writings as sacred, I'm sure the blog author would be very flattered.
If you have a problem with someone expressing their opinion then get off the Internet.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Pluto and its Power
Pluto's demotion has had such a profound affect on people, it is making them do crazy things. I know one guy who took it as a sign that he should quit the high-paying job that he has held for 17 years.
"You, Pluto, are not fit to be held within the oval rings of our self-centered universe," the Rockstar Poet said. And with that, some people, like the man mentioned above, felt they weren't fit for their own jobs.
If Pluto couldn't continue being a planet, then they couldn't continue being a fire fighter, or whatever.
"You, Pluto, are not fit to be held within the oval rings of our self-centered universe," the Rockstar Poet said. And with that, some people, like the man mentioned above, felt they weren't fit for their own jobs.
If Pluto couldn't continue being a planet, then they couldn't continue being a fire fighter, or whatever.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Bad to the Bone
It takes a certain talent to be really bad at something. It's easy to be mediocre or dull. But to be truly awful, that takes skill.
Maybe that's why William Hung became so very popular in his own way. He was so bad on American Idol, he was more memorable than most of the good singers who made it to the next round.
As Kathryn and Ross Petras put it, in the introduction to their anthology Very Bad Poetry, it takes a certain "enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence."
Maybe that's why William Hung became so very popular in his own way. He was so bad on American Idol, he was more memorable than most of the good singers who made it to the next round.
As Kathryn and Ross Petras put it, in the introduction to their anthology Very Bad Poetry, it takes a certain "enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence."
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
The best of the best.
One of the best albums of my generation is Nirvana's Nevermind. Hands down.
And you don't have to take my word for it, Rolling Stone magazine listed the album at number 17 in its 500 Greatest Albums of all Time issue, right between Blood on the Tracks, by Bob Dylan and Born to Run, by Bruce Springsteen.
While there are a number of classic albums on the list, one that's missing is MC Hammer's Please Hammer Don't Hurt'em.
I know there's a lot of you closet case Hammer fans out there. You don't have to be ashamed.
And you don't have to take my word for it, Rolling Stone magazine listed the album at number 17 in its 500 Greatest Albums of all Time issue, right between Blood on the Tracks, by Bob Dylan and Born to Run, by Bruce Springsteen.
While there are a number of classic albums on the list, one that's missing is MC Hammer's Please Hammer Don't Hurt'em.
I know there's a lot of you closet case Hammer fans out there. You don't have to be ashamed.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Etiquette
Sometimes there are etiquette questions that can't be answered.
Like, for instance, if you are at a baseball game and you have to get up to go to the bathroom, do you push past the people in their seats with your butt facing them or with your crotch towards them? Which is more polite?
One friend once asked me: “How late can you arrive at a funeral before it’s considered rude?”
I think with funerals you pretty much have to be on time.
Like, for instance, if you are at a baseball game and you have to get up to go to the bathroom, do you push past the people in their seats with your butt facing them or with your crotch towards them? Which is more polite?
One friend once asked me: “How late can you arrive at a funeral before it’s considered rude?”
I think with funerals you pretty much have to be on time.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Expiry
It's annoying that the food in my fridge has a deadline to be eaten. Eat by August 26, 2006 or else. I already have enough deadlines in my life. I don't need to be told when to eat my food too.
Who makes up these expiry dates? What methods do they use in doing so? What's the margin of error?
I sometimes eat food past the expiry date. I paid for the food, damn it, so I'm darn well going to eat it, even if I die of some sort of food poisoning.
If it smells okay, it should be okay, right?
I know a guy who once left an uncooked steak on his counter for a day or two. He later cooked it and ate it and lived. So what's the big deal?
Who makes up these expiry dates? What methods do they use in doing so? What's the margin of error?
I sometimes eat food past the expiry date. I paid for the food, damn it, so I'm darn well going to eat it, even if I die of some sort of food poisoning.
If it smells okay, it should be okay, right?
I know a guy who once left an uncooked steak on his counter for a day or two. He later cooked it and ate it and lived. So what's the big deal?
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Crazy Town
Have I told you lately that I'm crazy?
It's true.
On Friday, at midnight, I got the urge to rearrange the furniture in my apartment by myself. And I did it. I dragged and pushed everything around.
Most 26-year-olds are out partying on a Friday night. Not me, baby. I'm redecorating.
Like I said, I'm crazy.
It's true.
On Friday, at midnight, I got the urge to rearrange the furniture in my apartment by myself. And I did it. I dragged and pushed everything around.
Most 26-year-olds are out partying on a Friday night. Not me, baby. I'm redecorating.
Like I said, I'm crazy.
Friday, August 25, 2006
High Art
"There is no freedom in art." - T.S. Eliot
If you want to make money off your art, then that quote is definitely true. If you want people to respect your art, then that quote is definitely true.
If you make art simply for yourself and keep it in your closet, then you are free and that quote is wrong. Make whatever you please.
If you disagree with me on this, you are delusional, know nothing of craft and have never made money from your art.
If you want to make money off your art, then that quote is definitely true. If you want people to respect your art, then that quote is definitely true.
If you make art simply for yourself and keep it in your closet, then you are free and that quote is wrong. Make whatever you please.
If you disagree with me on this, you are delusional, know nothing of craft and have never made money from your art.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Chuck Norris' Bubble
Today, I picked up a postcard of Chuck Norris. There is an empty speech bubble above his head.
I'm trying to think of something clever to put in the speech bubble.
Why is it always impossible to come up with something clever when you need something clever to say?
Yet when the stakes are low, I'm a f---ing comedian.
I also have some police evidence stickers a friend gave me. But, again, I have no clever place to put them.
I'm trying to think of something clever to put in the speech bubble.
Why is it always impossible to come up with something clever when you need something clever to say?
Yet when the stakes are low, I'm a f---ing comedian.
I also have some police evidence stickers a friend gave me. But, again, I have no clever place to put them.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Thoughts on Pluto
Poor Pluto, it's been demoted. It's no longer a planet, because it hasn't "cleared the neighbourhood of its orbit."
Apparently, its orbit overlaps with Neptune. I guess, also, there are some other large objects in and around Pluto's orbital path.
I don't quite get this decision, since Earth certainly has its share of objects hanging around its orbital path. And Jupiter is surrounded by thousands of Trojan asteroids.
I mean Pluto is a large round rock that orbits the sun. What else do you need to be a planet?
Apparently, if Pluto had remained a planet, there would have been at least three other objects that would have had to have been named to planet status as well. And you wouldn't want to have that. Students can only be required to remember so much. And nine planets were already way too much.
The elimination of Pluto is going to screw up people's mnemonics. Most people remember the order in which the planets are distanced from the sun with the mnemonic: "My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nine Pizzas." Now how is that mnemonic going to work? It's been ruined. No one is ever going to be able to come up with another phrase. That would be impossible.
Poor Clyde Tombaugh, if he was alive, I wonder if he would be disappointed about Pluto's new status. Tombaugh was the one to discover Pluto when he was just 24-years-old.
Apparently, only five per cent of the world's astronomers voted on this decision to demote Pluto. It's kind of like the voter turnouts at university student council elections. Maybe most astronomers don't really care.
Is Pluto really a planet? From what I've read, it's one of those questions that will never be answered with certainty.
Anyhow, I've given this topic way, way too much thought.
Apparently, its orbit overlaps with Neptune. I guess, also, there are some other large objects in and around Pluto's orbital path.
I don't quite get this decision, since Earth certainly has its share of objects hanging around its orbital path. And Jupiter is surrounded by thousands of Trojan asteroids.
I mean Pluto is a large round rock that orbits the sun. What else do you need to be a planet?
Apparently, if Pluto had remained a planet, there would have been at least three other objects that would have had to have been named to planet status as well. And you wouldn't want to have that. Students can only be required to remember so much. And nine planets were already way too much.
The elimination of Pluto is going to screw up people's mnemonics. Most people remember the order in which the planets are distanced from the sun with the mnemonic: "My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nine Pizzas." Now how is that mnemonic going to work? It's been ruined. No one is ever going to be able to come up with another phrase. That would be impossible.
Poor Clyde Tombaugh, if he was alive, I wonder if he would be disappointed about Pluto's new status. Tombaugh was the one to discover Pluto when he was just 24-years-old.
Apparently, only five per cent of the world's astronomers voted on this decision to demote Pluto. It's kind of like the voter turnouts at university student council elections. Maybe most astronomers don't really care.
Is Pluto really a planet? From what I've read, it's one of those questions that will never be answered with certainty.
Anyhow, I've given this topic way, way too much thought.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
An Afternoon Stroll
So I was out taking a stroll around the lake today, checking out the athletes in the national canoe and kayak championships, when I noticed three women sitting in a tree. Upon closer inspection, it looked like they were doing some sort of spell.
That's right, boys and girls. The Witches of Eastwick are rigging the national canoe and kayak championships. Forget steriods and just go for a little old fashioned magic. That's all it takes to win these days.
That's right, boys and girls. The Witches of Eastwick are rigging the national canoe and kayak championships. Forget steriods and just go for a little old fashioned magic. That's all it takes to win these days.
Monday, August 21, 2006
The Right Stuff
Is it weird that I have New Kids on the Block songs in my MP3 player.
All I'm saying is, if my neighbour is going to play some old Kenny G tunes on his saxophone with the skills of a three-year-old, then I think I'm entitled to blare some NKOTB.
So you better hang tough, because I'm a child of the 80s. I've got some bad sh*t in my music collection. I recently bought the Tears for Fears greatest hits. You got a problem with Synthpop music? Huh?
All I'm saying is, if my neighbour is going to play some old Kenny G tunes on his saxophone with the skills of a three-year-old, then I think I'm entitled to blare some NKOTB.
So you better hang tough, because I'm a child of the 80s. I've got some bad sh*t in my music collection. I recently bought the Tears for Fears greatest hits. You got a problem with Synthpop music? Huh?
Sunday, August 20, 2006
A Bunch of Words
"We just write down a bunch of words, and pray to God they make sense. And if they don't, it doesn't matter. We're artists.” - Tom Delonge, Blink 182
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Glitter on the Highway
Until today, my brother had never heard the song Love Shack, by the B-52's.
How this is possible? I don't know.
For me, the song is associated with a horrible memory of my sister and I being forced to sing it karaokee. We were so horrible, everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared.
Perhaps we sounded like dying sea gulls. I don't know. No one said anything. They just stared.
And that is why I will never ever sing in public again.
How this is possible? I don't know.
For me, the song is associated with a horrible memory of my sister and I being forced to sing it karaokee. We were so horrible, everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared.
Perhaps we sounded like dying sea gulls. I don't know. No one said anything. They just stared.
And that is why I will never ever sing in public again.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Aging
Saskatchewan writer Donna Caruso once said she is "aging as gracefully as a gargoyle."
I fear I am suffering the same fate.
I fear I am suffering the same fate.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Pulp
I just wanted to thank the Black Eyed Peas for ruining the song Misirlou for me.
Thanks to them, whenever I listen to Misirlou, performed by Dick Dale & His Del-Tones, I hear the phrase: pump it.
Here’s a little thing you probably don’t know about the song Misirlou. Before it became a signature song on the movie Pulp Fiction, it was on the 1963 Beach Boys album Surfin’ USA.
But it’s not a Beach Boys original. The song was first performed by the Michalis Patrinos rebetiko band in Athens, Greece in 1927. It even had lyrics, and was performed at a slower tempo.
In 1941, Nick Roubanis, a Greek-American music instructor released a jazz instrumental arrangement of the song, crediting himself as the composer. Since his claim was never challenged, he is still officially credited as the composer today.
In the 60s, the song was rearranged as a solo guitar piece by, the pinoeer of surf rock, Dick Dale after a fan asked if Dale could play a song entirely on one string. It was Dale's version of the piece that introduced Misirlou to the United States.
The Beach Boys were inspired by Dale and thus included their own version on Surfin’ USA.
Misirlou, by the way, means Egyptian girl.
Who knew one little song from Greece could gain cult-like status, not only in rebetiko and surfer rock, but as a popular belly dancing tune that is also heard at Jewish weddings and now in hip hop circles.
As an interesting side note, Dale has been known to keep wild cats, like a lion and tiger as pets.
Thanks to them, whenever I listen to Misirlou, performed by Dick Dale & His Del-Tones, I hear the phrase: pump it.
Here’s a little thing you probably don’t know about the song Misirlou. Before it became a signature song on the movie Pulp Fiction, it was on the 1963 Beach Boys album Surfin’ USA.
But it’s not a Beach Boys original. The song was first performed by the Michalis Patrinos rebetiko band in Athens, Greece in 1927. It even had lyrics, and was performed at a slower tempo.
In 1941, Nick Roubanis, a Greek-American music instructor released a jazz instrumental arrangement of the song, crediting himself as the composer. Since his claim was never challenged, he is still officially credited as the composer today.
In the 60s, the song was rearranged as a solo guitar piece by, the pinoeer of surf rock, Dick Dale after a fan asked if Dale could play a song entirely on one string. It was Dale's version of the piece that introduced Misirlou to the United States.
The Beach Boys were inspired by Dale and thus included their own version on Surfin’ USA.
Misirlou, by the way, means Egyptian girl.
Who knew one little song from Greece could gain cult-like status, not only in rebetiko and surfer rock, but as a popular belly dancing tune that is also heard at Jewish weddings and now in hip hop circles.
As an interesting side note, Dale has been known to keep wild cats, like a lion and tiger as pets.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Apathy or Bust.
The rise in Canadian soldier deaths over in Afghanistan is starting to bother me. Primarily, because I saw an obit for a soldier my age in my own local newspaper. It's beginning to strike a little too close to home.
And that recent Canadian terror plot was a little frightening. It's been a long while since Canada has suffered the wrath of terrorists, which makes me appreciate how sheltered Canadians are. Thank God, for instance, we don't have to live in the Middle East, where your chances of being blown up are significantly higher.
There are a lot of wars going on that shouldn't be going on. Start with Africa and work your way up. It's hard to believe that we as humans are so stupid. There doesn't need to be suffering in the world. There really doesn't have to be. Yet beliefs are so strong and so different. And greed is so powerful. There will always be war and starvation. Always. Because humans will always be stupid and things will always be complicated.
It amazes me that people are so willing to give up their own lives and give up other people's lives. And for what?
I've read too many history books and too many newspapers. I know why the world is why it is. But what can I do, but try not to think about it. Because it's frustrating and angering.
I guess it's better to live in the comfort of apathy.
And that recent Canadian terror plot was a little frightening. It's been a long while since Canada has suffered the wrath of terrorists, which makes me appreciate how sheltered Canadians are. Thank God, for instance, we don't have to live in the Middle East, where your chances of being blown up are significantly higher.
There are a lot of wars going on that shouldn't be going on. Start with Africa and work your way up. It's hard to believe that we as humans are so stupid. There doesn't need to be suffering in the world. There really doesn't have to be. Yet beliefs are so strong and so different. And greed is so powerful. There will always be war and starvation. Always. Because humans will always be stupid and things will always be complicated.
It amazes me that people are so willing to give up their own lives and give up other people's lives. And for what?
I've read too many history books and too many newspapers. I know why the world is why it is. But what can I do, but try not to think about it. Because it's frustrating and angering.
I guess it's better to live in the comfort of apathy.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Where I get it from...
I can seem a bit prickly at times, but it is usually with the intention of being funny. Yes, my jokes are deadpan and understated. If you don't know me, you might have to hit the mental rewind a few times to get my jokes.
But my whole family is like that.
For instance, my sister recently made light of my grandmother's memory loss when discussing what to buy her for her birthday.
Me: "New clothes perhaps?"
Her, straight-faced and serious: "Well, we probably wouldn't have to buy her anything. We could just take the nicer clothes from her closet, wrap those and give them to her."
My mom: "That's true. And she would never know."
Don't worry. We were joking. Although from an outsider's point of view you wouldn't be able to tell, unless you knew us.
What is life, if you can't make fun? Even at the worst of times.
We would never give my grandmother her own clothes as a gift.
But my whole family is like that.
For instance, my sister recently made light of my grandmother's memory loss when discussing what to buy her for her birthday.
Me: "New clothes perhaps?"
Her, straight-faced and serious: "Well, we probably wouldn't have to buy her anything. We could just take the nicer clothes from her closet, wrap those and give them to her."
My mom: "That's true. And she would never know."
Don't worry. We were joking. Although from an outsider's point of view you wouldn't be able to tell, unless you knew us.
What is life, if you can't make fun? Even at the worst of times.
We would never give my grandmother her own clothes as a gift.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Madness
"The courage of the poet is to keep ajar the door that leads into madness." - Christopher Morley
Thursday, August 10, 2006
The Infamous Tide Stick
Everyone is raving about the Tide stick. And I must admit it works pretty good.
In fact, for many people, spills are now exciting. Can the amazing Tide stick do it again?
The Tide stick is quickly becoming a hit at parties. A writer friend of mine deliberately spilled coffee on his favourite white shirt and then, later, red wine. He wanted to put the Tide stick up against impossible odds.
"This better work," my friend said. "Mordecai Richler gave me this shirt and he's dead!" (As it turns out, this was a slight exaggeration. Noah Richler gave my writer friend the shirt. Mordecai had once given the shirt to Noah, but it was too small for Noah. And my friend snagged the shirt before Noah had a chance to donate it to good will.)
Anyhow, the Tide stick got out the coffee and the red wine. It's miracles like that that are making the Tide stick infamous.
Recently, I was in Edmonton working on a documentary. The cameraman and I went out to dinner. It wasn't long before the cameraman slopped all over himself. Out came his Tide stick and it was only moments before we had a small crowd gathered at our table oohing and awing over the wonderment a Tide stick can bring.
"Ohmigod is that a Tide stick," people would say, before joining the throng of spectators at our table.
Yeah. I know. It's crazy, but true.
In fact, for many people, spills are now exciting. Can the amazing Tide stick do it again?
The Tide stick is quickly becoming a hit at parties. A writer friend of mine deliberately spilled coffee on his favourite white shirt and then, later, red wine. He wanted to put the Tide stick up against impossible odds.
"This better work," my friend said. "Mordecai Richler gave me this shirt and he's dead!" (As it turns out, this was a slight exaggeration. Noah Richler gave my writer friend the shirt. Mordecai had once given the shirt to Noah, but it was too small for Noah. And my friend snagged the shirt before Noah had a chance to donate it to good will.)
Anyhow, the Tide stick got out the coffee and the red wine. It's miracles like that that are making the Tide stick infamous.
Recently, I was in Edmonton working on a documentary. The cameraman and I went out to dinner. It wasn't long before the cameraman slopped all over himself. Out came his Tide stick and it was only moments before we had a small crowd gathered at our table oohing and awing over the wonderment a Tide stick can bring.
"Ohmigod is that a Tide stick," people would say, before joining the throng of spectators at our table.
Yeah. I know. It's crazy, but true.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Myths and Lies
I am beginning to understand how the mythology that surrounds real history is created. It's started by liars like me.
As a cruel and distasteful experiment, I told some people that there was an untold story to the World Trade Centre tragedy. There had been a swimming pool in one of the towers. When the towers collapsed, there were people who had been swimming who couldn't get out.
There was no swimming pool in the World Trade Centre. It was a complete fabrication. But people believed me. I corrected them with the truth. But if I hadn't, they could have passed this lie onto others and a myth would have been born.
As a cruel and distasteful experiment, I told some people that there was an untold story to the World Trade Centre tragedy. There had been a swimming pool in one of the towers. When the towers collapsed, there were people who had been swimming who couldn't get out.
There was no swimming pool in the World Trade Centre. It was a complete fabrication. But people believed me. I corrected them with the truth. But if I hadn't, they could have passed this lie onto others and a myth would have been born.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Life's Art
"God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style. He just goes on trying other things." - Pablo Picasso
Monday, August 07, 2006
Surgery
Plastic surgery is pretty horrid. Perhaps, one day, we will look at plastic surgery and see it as barbaric and as stupid as foot binding, or so said Angela Montenegro, a character in the TV show Bones.
According to the latest tabloid magazine, Ashley Simpson had a whole bunch of plastic surgery. She got rid of her trademark nose for a more generic one, even though her nose made her unique.
Screw genetic science. We don't need advances in genetic science to all be born generic beauties. As children, we should all be sliced up and reconstructed to look ideal.
What's a little mutilation for beauty?
According to the latest tabloid magazine, Ashley Simpson had a whole bunch of plastic surgery. She got rid of her trademark nose for a more generic one, even though her nose made her unique.
Screw genetic science. We don't need advances in genetic science to all be born generic beauties. As children, we should all be sliced up and reconstructed to look ideal.
What's a little mutilation for beauty?
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Jesus H. Christ
I have been doing some deep thinking lately about the expression "Jesus H. Christ." What does the H stand for?
For lack of anything better to do, I looked it up.
According to some, it stands for "Harold" or "Howard," as in "Our father, who art in heaven. Howard be thy name." Or Harold be thy name?
Some say the H stands for "Jesus Holy Christ" and was shortened to "Jesus H. Christ."
There is another theory out there that says it stands for "Haploid." The haploid is the number of chromosomes found in the gamate of an individual. Whatever that means. I hate biology. Maybe, since Jesus had no biological father, he was shortchanged in the chromosome department.
Others say the H refers to the IHS logo found in Christianity. IHS is an abbreviation of "Jesus" in classical Greek characters. The Greek pronunciation is "Iesous," with the E sound being represented by the character eta, which looks like an H. When the symbol passed to Christian Romans, that eta became an H, which was an H to them.
Or, perhaps, the H comes from the Latin inscription INRH that was tacked on the cross by Roman soldiers: "Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Hebrei" (Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Hebrews). Although that inscription may have actually been INRI: Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Iudaeorum (Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Jews).
Who knows? Those are just theories I came across.
For lack of anything better to do, I looked it up.
According to some, it stands for "Harold" or "Howard," as in "Our father, who art in heaven. Howard be thy name." Or Harold be thy name?
Some say the H stands for "Jesus Holy Christ" and was shortened to "Jesus H. Christ."
There is another theory out there that says it stands for "Haploid." The haploid is the number of chromosomes found in the gamate of an individual. Whatever that means. I hate biology. Maybe, since Jesus had no biological father, he was shortchanged in the chromosome department.
Others say the H refers to the IHS logo found in Christianity. IHS is an abbreviation of "Jesus" in classical Greek characters. The Greek pronunciation is "Iesous," with the E sound being represented by the character eta, which looks like an H. When the symbol passed to Christian Romans, that eta became an H, which was an H to them.
Or, perhaps, the H comes from the Latin inscription INRH that was tacked on the cross by Roman soldiers: "Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Hebrei" (Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Hebrews). Although that inscription may have actually been INRI: Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Iudaeorum (Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Jews).
Who knows? Those are just theories I came across.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Drought
I've been going through an e-mail dry spell lately, which is pretty sad.
Over the last few days, I log on and the inbox says zero messages. Even my spam bin reads zero.
C'mon people, what's with the no junk mail? Am I suddenly that despicable that I don't even deserve junk mail? Normally, I get a ton of spam. Lately, nothing. The world must be coming to an end. No junk mail.
Sigh. Okay, I guess I can handle the no junk mail part. I really don't need any new psychiatric drugs or whatever else the junk mail sells. Really, I don't.
Over the last few days, I log on and the inbox says zero messages. Even my spam bin reads zero.
C'mon people, what's with the no junk mail? Am I suddenly that despicable that I don't even deserve junk mail? Normally, I get a ton of spam. Lately, nothing. The world must be coming to an end. No junk mail.
Sigh. Okay, I guess I can handle the no junk mail part. I really don't need any new psychiatric drugs or whatever else the junk mail sells. Really, I don't.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Awaiting revenge.
"After scolding one's cat, one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference." - Charlotte Gray, Canadian historian and author.
Monday, July 03, 2006
No Talent
One thing I find when watching shows like Canadian Idol is that my taste is completely different than the rest of the nation. The people I tend to dislike, the country loves.
I take that back. Perhaps, my tastes don't differ with the entire nation. Rather, it differs with the 12-year-old girls who call in and vote. Girls who wouldn't know talent if it bit them in the butt.
Look what happened with the Much VJ search. Everyone knows Erik Bartik should have won, but alas the teenage girl vote went to the stuttering and shy Tim Deegan. Since when did stuttering and shy become valued qualities in a TV host?
I take that back. Perhaps, my tastes don't differ with the entire nation. Rather, it differs with the 12-year-old girls who call in and vote. Girls who wouldn't know talent if it bit them in the butt.
Look what happened with the Much VJ search. Everyone knows Erik Bartik should have won, but alas the teenage girl vote went to the stuttering and shy Tim Deegan. Since when did stuttering and shy become valued qualities in a TV host?
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