Blizzard

Back in the day, when you bought a Blizzard at Dairy Queen, they would turn it upside down to show you how well it was made.

These days though--and I've found this at a number of Dairy Queens in different cities--if a blizzard was turned upside down, it would pour right out of the cup. Blizzards are becoming more like chocolate soup.

Is this a new product development? If so, I haven't seen any ads out to promote it.

Where the buffalo roam

I was out walking the grid roads yesterday and was delighted to find a herd of buffalo grazing about in a field. I hopped down into the ditch to take a photo, but they all ran off in a thunderous gallop. The sound of them running was the most amazing thing I ever heard. Watching them run was also pretty cool.

I felt guilty though for causing them panic, especially when a baby became separated from the herd and struggled to keep up. If I was a predator, it would have been dead.

Anyhow, I didn't think the buffalo would be so jumpy. Clearly I underestimated their survival instinct, which is definitely lacking in the cows around here. You could walk right up to a cow and it would just look at you. And a cow certainly should be afraid of humans. Yet somehow they do little to fight us.

A connection

Through my work I sometimes have the opportunity to travel around and meet people.

And it's amazing, how once and awhile, you can meet someone for a short period, like a day or two, and make a special connection.

While these connections are great, they make it hard to say goodbye. I personally feel very sad after the person leaves, because often one can loose touch, despite best efforts. Knowing this maybe inevitable is why it is diffcult to let the person go when he or she is in my presence.

As a friend of mine always reminds me, though, is that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Only time will tell which it is.

Sigh.

On science and art

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about science and art. Someone once asked me which I thought more important: a great artistic achievement, such as modernism, or a scientific development such as penicillin.

I found this to be an unfair question. Science and art are each important to society in their own way. What would our world be like without art? There would be no paintings on the walls, no movies, no sculpture on the street. Art gives us clues about the cultures that came before us. And without science, there would be no medicine, no dishwashers, or cars.

I'm tempted to say science and art are equally important, but I'm not sure. Let's not compare modernism to penicillin.

On failure

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative." - Woody Allen

It's tough to remember that failure can sometimes be a good sign.

Overstatement

Sometimes an "out of order" sign is not necessary.

For instance, when a sink in a public washroom is missing its facets, it is obvious that one should move on and try the next sink over.

Sucker punches

I was at a Wide Mouth Mason concert recently and one of the lyrics to their new songs was something to the effect of "sometimes hope is like a sucker punch." I thought how true, which is why I'm not an optimist. (I consider myself to be a realist). If you have high hopes and things don't work out, then the hope that you had is the sucker punch leading to your disappointment.

Mondo

My favourite Zen mondo is this:

Monk: "I have just entered the monastery. Please give me some guidance."

Master: "Have you eaten your rice gruel?"

Monk: "Yes. I've eaten."

Master: "Then go wash your bowl."

Like the Monk, sometimes I would like all of life's answers to be given to me at once or have success in an instant. I always tell myself, you can't climb Mount Everest in a day, and on the mountainside you still have to wash your bowl. Even if you're doing something great, you can't escape the quotidian. Washing the bowl is the lesson and it's a part of the journey.

Hey, hey, goodbye!

There is something sad about going on a few dates with a guy and realizing he isn't for you.

It means it's back to "being out there."

You sigh as you think: "How many more losers do I have to date until I find the one?"

The one, whatever that means? Does anyone ever really find the one? Only answer this question if you've been with your partner for over 40 years. It seems that marriages grow tired over the years.

Revenge

Remember, when talking to the ex, even when you are miserable, you have to make it look like your life is going well.

Like a good public relations person, put a positive spin on your life's circumstances. Everything is going great.

Smile, appear happy and rub what you can into their faces. Appear unphased when they tell you they are getting married next week.

The goal: Make them feel jealous. Make them feel like it's their loss.

Even if you don't ever want to date them again, even if you hate them for everything they did to you, you have to be the bigger, better person in an effort to add to your ex's pain.

A poem

"A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. " --Robert Frost

Sit and Wait

It is written that if you ask a guy out, you eliminate the chase. The chase is what is fun for the guy.

Apparently, if they like you, they will step it up and ask you out.

If you ask a guy out yourself, it takes all the fun out of it for the guy. Maybe it's true. But now you are sitting and waiting for this guy to ask you out and it's just not happening. You hang out together all the time. He calls you occasionally. But maybe he is just not that into you.

Fighting gravity

I started watching Jetstream, a documentary on Discovery Channel that follows a group of young pilots as they learn to fly a supersonic fighter jet.

After watching the premier episode of Jetstream, I'm not sure why anyone would want to be a fighter pilot.

Firstly, there is the physical stress. Jets, as they do their aerobatic moves, are basically fighting gravity. In doing so, the g forces reduce blood flow to the brain. This can lead to a loss of consciousness, which is called g-loc. You can prevent this by tensing your legs, arms and abdominal muscles to restrict the "downward" flow of blood.

On the show, they were sticking pilots in a centrifuge to see how they handled the g forces, and you could watch as some of them passed out. It was crazy.

Then there is the risk. When flying a jet, it's not if something goes wrong, it's when.

No thank you.

Stupid.

Why is it when you run into a cute guy, you're always doing something stupid, like buying a donut? (Girls aren't supposed to be seen eating sugary, fattening foods after all).

Responsibility

Today, I was reading a story on Yahoo News about how the U.S. recently bombed 40 selected targets in Iraq with smart bombs. I then made the mistake of looking at the readers' comments.

There was a right-winger on there ripping into the left-wing and Islam with some really hateful words. People would tell her how stupid she was or agree with her and she would come back on and tell everyone they were stupid. The whole forum was really negative and outrageous.

I felt compelled to throw my two bits in, which I don't normally do. I wrote: "I can't believe the blatant hatred, disrespect, racism and xenophobia in these comments. Some of you should be ashamed of yourself. War and terrorism are rooted in these attitudes."

I waited for people to respond to the comment and either agree with me or tell me I was an idiot. Instead they ignored it and kept making their hateful comments at each other.

This to me is the problem with the human race. Some people like arguing and fighting with each other so much, they ignore any comments that hold them responsible for perpetuating a problem.

Timing

Timing is everything.

If you want to get married, you have to find a guy who wants to get married. You know, a guy who already has the house and career he wants. Find a guy who is happy where he is in life.

If you find a guy whose upgrading his education or thinking about moving to a new city then run, even if you seem to be perfect for each other. This guy is too busy thinking about himself and isn't ready to make decisions as a couple. Unless you're willing to make some sacrifices for him and he's willing to let you, it will never work out.

Rubbing it in.

You might not know a Mandy. At least not until you learn your ex's new girlfriend is named Mandy. Then suddenly you'll meet a new Mandy every second day.

The fates like to rub it in.

V-Day

For those of you who felt lonley on Valentine's Day, just remember the "holiday" was created as a commercial ploy to sell cards.

You're not getting any money from those card sales, so who cares about Valentine's Day.

Besides, trees had to die for those cards to be made. So if you didn't give or receive a card this Valentine's Day, good for you. The environment and anti-capitalists thank you.

Have your cake.

Some men are like chocolate cake. You know you shouldn't, but you also know it will taste so good if you do.

You'll take only one bite, or so you tell yourself. But before you know it, you've eaten not just one piece, but the whole cake.

Phobia

There comes a time when you've had your heart stepped on so many times that you don't want to go back out there.

The thought of a new boyfriend scares you. What hurt will you face this time if you enter a new relationship?

Settling in.

You know you're just settling when you decide to be with someone who has an issue you have to work to ignore.

Dependents

Some men are simply looking for their mother in a relationship. And there are women out there who are happy to oblige.

Not only do these women make the meals and do the chores, they say "dear, you can't have any chocolate ice cream. It will spoil your dinner."

And "dear, make sure you're home by eight."

These women have rules and they are not afraid to lay down the law.

They also manage the purse strings.

There is no such thing as an equal partnership in these relationships.

It's like single parenthood, except the child is the woman's lover.

The Nameless

Ex-boyfriends become the names that cannot be named.

If you want to tell an anecdote that involves them, you have to say a “friend of mine.”

Because if you use their name, the person you are talking to, like your parents, for instance, will say “whatever happened to him. I liked that guy.”

And then you have to explain a whole bunch of stuff you don’t want to explain.

Trust, Passion and Love

On Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy and Spike find they are pulled together by love. They don’t want to love each other at first, but they can’t contain their feelings and are drawn to each other. Buffy, of course, fights her feelings every step of the way. She resists her own feelings of love in this little bit of dialogue:

BUFFY: I'm not saying I don't have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to become that.

SPIKE: Trust is for old marrieds, Buffy. Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes.

BUFFY: Until there's nothing left. That kind of love doesn't last.

And in fiction that kind of love ends tragically. Perhaps it is also true in life.