I am not an emotional person. Actually, I take that back. I’m very emotional. It’s just I’m a “crying-on-the-inside” girl.
All my emotions are contained in a stainless steel cylinder. Occasionally, I surprise myself when a single tear falls down my cheek.
Think Warf from Star Trek Enterprise, or better yet Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. It’s just the way I am. If I was capable of expressing my emotions publicly, I would, but it’s too awkward for me.
As a result, people treat me like I’m not human. They assume I’m hardened and callous, which is not true at all. It’s a misunderstanding.
I cry during the sad parts of movies. It’s just on the inside. Just because I don’t show the hurt, doesn’t mean there isn’t pain.
People often don’t get me gifts, because they think I don’t appreciate them. But I do. I just don’t gush. No matter how grateful I am, no matter how cute I think something is, I won’t show it.
My lack of visible emotion is a disability. It keeps me distant from others.
I’ve come to believe the people who seem the hardest on the outside are probably the people who feel emotion the most.
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6 comments:
It wasn't because we didn't think you'd like a present, it was because we didn't think you were a butterfly eraser kind of girl. I didn't get one either, if that makes you feel better.
I understand. With people I'm a tough cookie on the outside. (though on movies.. well.. it's a different story). Hang in there. Once people get to know you they should be able to pick up the subtle signs. There are ALWAYS signs.
I promise... I'll never let your "inside emotions" keep me from getting you a present. *smile*
-n
lynniec,
Later that day, my sister had found a butterfly pin that belonged to my Grandma.
She was like: "Do you want this? Or wait, you probably don't like butterflies."
And I was like: "Come on people!"
Thanks nikkirae.
I know, we're such idiots.
You just don't seem like a girly girl and butterflies are so girly.
Next time I feel compelled to purchase a useless, pretty thing, I'll get you one too.
Lynniec
No worries.
I'm just more surprised you didn't comment on the peanut butter and pickle post, because you are such a fan of pb&p.
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