Killers and Sins

A good friend of mine with a little too much time on his hands decided to anagram my name.

He came up with "seen any killers" and "really keen sins."

Yikes. Killers and sins? No fuzzy bunny rabbits for me. Perhaps it's appropriate because I covered the crime beat for two years as a journalist, which is why nothing phases me anymore.

Now I'm onto more uplifting subject matter - education and the arts, which is why nothing phases me.

Poetry and Prose

A friend of mine was recently told she should stay clear of poetry and write fiction only. It was a prestigious literary editor that made the observation.

My friend's poetry wasn't making sense to anyone.

But I don't think she should give up on poetry. If it doesn't make sense, it probably means she was being abstract, instead of using concrete images. That's all. She can learn to use concrete images.

Poetry is a craft. It can be learned. I hate people who say give up instead of learn.

Mind you, I'm in limbo right now. In the last week, I got two rejections from literary magazines. One with a penciled note saying: "Interesting poems. Try us again later." And the other was a half page typed letter saying: "This is usable material. Now here's my critique..."

While those are better than your standard form rejections, it's still no publication.

Path to Enlightenment

I have come to an obvious realization. That things only bother me if I let them.

I should not worry about what other people are doing. Yes, my neighbour plays his music too loud and the cocky kid in karate once again budded in front of me in line, even though he's a lower rank.

But it only bugs me, if I let it. To get angry isn't worth it. To greet an annoyance with patience and acceptance is a challenge worth taking . . . a very difficult challenge.

Surprise Attacks

There are certain hazards to owning a cat

For instance, my cat has developed a recent fascination for shoe laces. I'll be tying up my boots and from out of no where my cat will lunge forth and attack my laces with great fury.

There's nothing more challenging than trying to tie your shoes with a cat taking swings at, not only your laces, but your hands. I've gotten a few scratches here and there.

Now I have to tie my shoes in hiding.

I wonder what a cat whisperer would have to say about that? Probably nothing my cat wouldn't laugh at.

Hot Stuff

My girlfriends and I went to the hospital cafeteria for lunch today.

We do that from time to time, even though we aren't visiting anyone specific. The food is pretty good and so are the male nurses and young doctors who work there.

While there, I was thinking what would happen if there was a fire. It would be impossible to get all the patients out, especially those on oxygen or those out on the surgery table.

Hopefully, they have a good sprinkler system.

A Different Planet

It always amazes me how two people can watch the same movie, newscast or whatever and have a completely different opinion of what they saw.

Take for instance The Usual Suspects, which I thought was a total waste of time since I figured out the ending well before it ended.

I ruined it for the people I watched it with, because when you figure out a movie like that you have to make your predictions out loud. No one will ever believe you figured it out if you make your predictions after the movie.

I didn't think there was much to The Usual Suspects, but many people disagree.

Hence why there will always be conflict in the world. Our opinions, beliefs and perceptions are built of brick. It takes a lot to knock a brick structure down and it's always a chore to rebuild.

Drama and Documentary

I went to the Laramie Project last night. Essentially the Laramie Project is a play about how the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard ripped apart the community of Laramie, Wyoming.

Instead of having a normal play structure with traditional acts and scenes, the Laramie Project was pieced together like a documentary with actors reciting actual interviews from the residents of Laramie.

The Techtonic Theatre company spent a lot of time in Laramie doing the interviews with the residents, so it was really neat to see what is essentially journalism in the form of drama.

T-Shirts

I was looking at my collection of t-shirts the other day, particularly those that were gifts from friends or family.

One says: "100 per cent Grade A B*tch"

Another says: "Do I look like a freakin' people person?"

A third says: "Does not play well with others"

And a fourth says: "You can't see me."

Hmm. Perhaps my friends are trying to tell me something?

Hail the copycats!

Weapon of Choice, by Fatboy Slim, is a super cool video.

How can you go wrong with Chrisopher Walken dancing and flying through the air?

Now what's weird as that there has been more than one university student who has felt the need to copy this video.

Recently, both the University of Saskatchewan and McMaster University had students do so.

Although the U of S one is funny and the McMaster University one is okay, these students have way too much time on their hands.

Never have I felt the need to recreate a video, let alone post it to the Internet.

That said, when I saw the U of S video I had to send it to 50 of my bestest friends.

Weird

A young person, like me, who has the exact same name as I do, died on Monday.

As a result, I've been fielding phone calls. People want to know if I'm still alive.

Strange.

The Honest Truth

Honesty is deeply valued in our society. Yet no one really values the truth.

In fact, we're all a bunch of liars in one way or another.

Let's say you are at the store and the cashier asks you "how are you doing today?"

Your response will likely be good, even if you just came from the dentist after an intensive procedure. The freezing is wearing off and you feel a sudden wave of nausea.

If you were to be honest, you would say: "I'm actually in an immense amount of pain. I feel dizzy and about ready to throw up on your floor."

But no one wants to hear that and so you say: "I'm good. Thanks for asking."

The Internet

The cover story in this week's Macleans magazine is about why the Internet sucks.

The article notes that, at the dawn of the Internet age, idealists believed the world wide web would create an enlightened utopia.

In reality, Google's top 10 searches, last year, were Janet Jackson, hurricane Katrina, tsunami, xBox 360, Brad Pitt, Michael Jackson, American Idol, Britney Spear, Angelina Jolie and Harry Potter.

An enlightened utopia? I think not. I am proud to say I did not google any of those things last year. I did, however, google Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jake Gyllenhaal. And I like to think of myself as an intellectual. (I'll ignore the laughter).

So what if the Internet celebrates mediocrity through self-indulgent blogs of people who think they can write. And so what if the nut jobs on both the right and left use the Internet to call the mainstream media biased and manipulative because the media is not promoting their said values. If the Internet was gone tomorrow, I would be very disappointed that I couldn't look up the trivia I need to know, like how old my favourite Survivor player is.

Clouds

I'm not much of a joiner, but sometimes there is the odd band wagon you just can't help but jump on, like the Cloud Appreciation Society.

You're not healthy, unless you have an obsession.

Just Justin

I was in my car tonight listening to JT's Justified album when the song "Take it from here" came on.

It begins with JT saying "Sometimes, sometimes the world gets hard."

And much to my surprise I said: "Tell me about it, Justin."

Unfortunately for me, Justin won't be my Broadway show on review, so he can act out how God was when he made me. (I'm not kidding, the lyrics are more or less along those lines).

Debt

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." - Mark Twain

Worldly Fascinations

When the World Karate Tournament was hosted in Canada this past fall, there was a multicultural performance that included First Nation dancers in traditional garb.

The German karate team was very fascinated with the First Nation outfits and had their photos taken with the dancers. Many Canadians certainly would never show that same level of appreciation or interest.

Germans are interested in our "cowboy and Indian" history. I guess they have interests that extend beyond David Hasselhoff.

Future Sex

I want to have FutureSex.

Why do I feel like a lesser person for wanting to buy a Justin Timberlake CD? I guess I don't feel justified in doing so.

Candle Light

I went to my first candle party. It was pure hell. It made me feel cheap.

The seller of the candles, also known as the "consultant," was, of course, a young single mother trying to make a bit of extra cash. (And to be a consultant you have to buy your own catalogues, samples, etc. So the young mother likely had to put up a lot of cash to start this "business.")

The cheapest candle there was $32, but on average most of the merchandise ran for about $85 or more. Did I mention these were candles she was selling?

I'm a writer, so I don't make a lot of money. There is no way I'm dropping $32 on some candle I won't be able to use, because my cat will probably knock it over.

Of course, being the one person who doesn't buy anything, I won the door prize, which was probably paid for out of pocket by the young mother.

The idea behind these parties is that as a guest you are supposed to later volunteer your own home for a party for the consultant to come and sell candles to your own friends and families. Well, most of my friends and family are artists, writers, journalists or work in independent film. They don't have the money either for a $32 candle. So I certainly will not be hosting a party anytime soon.

In the end, I just ate the free food and left, feeling like a cheap and lowly impoverished human being.

New and Exciting.

Tonight, I made a great discovery - paranormal romance novels.

Does it get any better than that?

And I thought I knew everything, but apparently there's a whole genre of literature that was just waiting to be discovered.

Knick Knacks

Why do we feel the need to buy things we don't need?

A few weekends ago, I bought a black rubber duckie. I certainly don't need it. I don't collect rubber duckies. I just thought it looked cool.

Today, I was very tempted to buy a Halloween snow globe. Little bats were mixed in with the snow. Again, not something I need.

If I was a millionaire, I would have a house full of useless (but very cool) knick knacks.