Karate Curse

Karate ruins a person's feet.

You aren't allowed to wear shoes in karate. And so, over the years of doing karate, sliding my feet along cracked gymnasium floors, I have got some nasty callouses. My heels are cracked. I have a callous on the side of my one baby toe that is starting to grow over the nail. (I know. It's disgusting).

I've had two pedicures since I've been doing karate. But when you remove the callouses, doing karate hurts, and the callouses come back thicker than ever.

Aside from the callouses, I've lost a toenail and cracked many others.

I've seen pictures of dancers' feet, and they are even worse than mine.

It's amazing what we do to our bodies in the name of sport.

Socks N' Things

Everyone at karate is an exhibitionist, or at least that seems to be the trend lately. Both the men and the women change with the door open.

Apparently, it's not a big deal to anybody but me. Not even to the little kids, or their parents who pick them up. (Although, I heard some people were disturbed when one of the men demonstrated a side thrust kick naked in front of the change room door. Thankfully, I didn't see that, otherwise I would be blind right now).

As a result, at karate, I change in the bathroom alone with the door closed, because I don't even like it if someone sees me changing my socks.

When did public nudity become acceptable? Did I go to sleep for 20 years and wake up to find that everyone has adapted a whole new set of social norms?

If karate starts to become like ancient wrestling, and is done in the buff, I think I'll have to take up something else.

Forgetting...

Why is it, when someone does something stupid or wrong, we don't let them forget?

We think it's funny not to let them forget too.

For instance, ever since my karate instructor knocked out that kid's tooth, when sparring him, I'm like: "Careful, don't knock out my tooth."

Everyone else laughs, but my instructor says: "That's not funny."

The Injury Report.

Today, at karate, this eight-year-old kid had a molar knocked loose by the instructor. And it was an adult tooth too. There was blood running out the side of the kid's mouth. It was pretty nasty.

All the instructor did was turn around and the kid, who was standing right behind him, took an elbow to the face. It was an accident. The kid will definitely need a trip to the dentist.

Karate can make you feel like an abused spouse or child. While getting a tooth knocked out, or even a bloody nose, is rare, bruises are common. When I first started and had sensitive forearms, I had to wear long sleeves to hide the ridiculous amount of bruises I was getting, just from blocking punches.

I bruise less now, but every now and again I still get some ugly bruises. Three weeks ago, at a provincial team training session, I had a bruise complete with blood blisters that ran from my elbow to my wrist. I had another large bruise on my stomach. I couldn't even tell you where the bruises came from. Obviously, I took some hits. I also had a large scratch under my arm, as well as some pinch marks, from some grappling we were doing.

I'm glad I'm not a wrestler, because I hear breaking the cartilage in your ears is a common injury in that sport. And the cartilage never heals right. You get what they call cauliflower ears.

Pain and Anger.

"There is no pain. Pain only exists if you allow it," says one of my karate instructors.

I agree completely.

Lately, I've gotten good at compartmentalizing both my physical and emotional pain.

It doesn't mean I don't feel. I just take a few deep breaths and let it go.

If you give into your pain, you run the risk of losing control.

I suppose the same is true with anger.

A new beginning...

Beginnings are always rough as you struggle to gain familiarity.

I've been doing karate for five or six years now. My intensity and skill have gone up significantly enough that last spring I was invited to train with the provincial team.

I was feeling pretty good about myself, because it was a long sought after dream of mine. Then I showed up at the first team practice and it was a nightmare. I couldn't keep up and I had my butt kicked by all the team veterans.

So finally I decided I was going to get into better shape, to at least keep up.

Cardio fitness and core muscle strength are important parts of karate. So this year, I signed up for aerobic classes and ball stability classes.

I've always said the more I train karate, the more I feel like a beginner. (There are only so many moves in karate, but there is always something new to learn about executing those moves.) But I forgot what it was like to be a real beginner.

On the first day of aerobics, which is basically an intense dance class, I was stumbling all over my feet. And the ball stability class . . . well, at one point, I fell off the ball, dropping my barbells.

When I started karate I was bad, a stumbling idiot. It took me a year and a half to really catch on.

And now, luckily, by the second aerobics class, the steps were a little easier.

Worldly Fascinations

When the World Karate Tournament was hosted in Canada this past fall, there was a multicultural performance that included First Nation dancers in traditional garb.

The German karate team was very fascinated with the First Nation outfits and had their photos taken with the dancers. Many Canadians certainly would never show that same level of appreciation or interest.

Germans are interested in our "cowboy and Indian" history. I guess they have interests that extend beyond David Hasselhoff.