It is written that if you ask a guy out, you eliminate the chase. The chase is what is fun for the guy.
Apparently, if they like you, they will step it up and ask you out.
If you ask a guy out yourself, it takes all the fun out of it for the guy. Maybe it's true. But now you are sitting and waiting for this guy to ask you out and it's just not happening. You hang out together all the time. He calls you occasionally. But maybe he is just not that into you.
6 comments:
Well, guys are so afraid of the rejection, some are a little tentative to make that first move without some sort of "guarantee" of non-rejection. Throw an extra smile in there, flirt a little harder, and don't worry, you will be chased soon enough.
I believe you can ask a guy out if you want. But that doesn't maen you are giving up the chase - just that you are making a move.
Be sure to keep him on his toes tho - don't return his call straight away, be a bit too unavailable at times.
But what do I know - I'm single =)
Perhaps guys don't want you to sit and wait but would rather you call them. Women may want to visit www.guysurvival.com to find out what men really think about dating, mating, and relating to women.
I'm big into asking the guy out first and it always blows up in my face. But when I really sit down to think about it, I think instinctively I know he's not that much into me in the first place. When I ask him out, I'm doing it so that I cut out that weird tension. And ultimately, I'm in control because the guy usually doesn't know how to initiate. Think of this way:
If there is such thing as an "Into you" scale, going from 1 to 10, guys that ARE really into you rank 8 or higher. They don't care if you ask or he asks, he's just happy to be in the running. However, anything lower, then the "chase-factor" is at play. You let him chase you, and he asks you out, and you oblige. And then it dies on vine, like it would have if you asked him out in the first place (although there would've been a less time and energy expended and wasted, and lot more efficient.) If I ask him out, I'm doing it because I want to cut to the chase (no pun intended), get to the heart of the matter, and figure it out now, before he has time to think. Because a lot this "playing games" crap" is based on the guy not knowing in the first place and thinking too much. That "not knowing" screws over dozens and dozens of girls and breaks a serious number of hearts. Because when they do figure it out (they weren't into her in the first place, they're in it for 6 months to a year-- or even worse, they're married. It's not that men are liars, it's just they don't know what the hell they want. I just help them answer the question a lot sooner when I ask first. Catch my drift, right?
"It is written that if you ask a guy out, you eliminate the chase. The chase is what is fun for the guy.
Apparently, if they like you, they will step it up and ask you out."
Huh? Who wrote THAT?
and
"You hang out all the time, but..."
Look. The chase is the worst part. Only "players" like the chase. If you "hang out all the time" and he hasn't asked you out, it's simply because he (a) doesn't think you're interested in him or (b) isn't interested himself.
I'm a bit contrarian when it comes to dating. I'm not a serial dater. The chase is a damned obstacle course and I ran enough of those when I was in the military. If a woman doesn't clearly express interest in a sexual or romantic way then its never going to occur to me to ask her out.
And Del - If I call a woman and she doesn't return the call pretty soon, I'm also going to think she's either not interested or not serious - and thus not worth my time.
Lucy. Wow. You're my kind of woman.
But what do I know? I'm starting a dating site and one of the reasons i'm doing this is so that I (hopefully) won't have to deal with these kinds of games.
I enjoy reading your blog!
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