There is a telling scene about men in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season Three, Episode 20) when Anya, a demon turned human, who is just starting to gain human feelings, asks Xander to the prom.
Xander is resistant, so Anya says: "Look I know you find me attractive. I see you looking at my breasts."
Xander says: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open." (It doesn't mean that he likes her).
But in the end, Xander goes with Anya because he doesn't have any other potential dates for the prom.
Sometimes I think if a man really wants to get laid, or really wants a date to the prom, or whatever, he will lower the bar and take the last woman standing if he must.
That's why there are prostitutes with three teeth who are able to maintain a steady business.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Morons
One of my favourite comic strips is Get Fuzzy, by Darby Conley. Sometimes I wish I could act like the cat Bucky, like when he calls Rob a moron:
Bucky: "Gee Robert . . . I never knew you spoke fluent moron. So were you a moron major in college, or did you listen to moron tapes in your car. Or did your parents both speak moronic as a first language."
There are some people I wish I could say that too.
Bucky: "Gee Robert . . . I never knew you spoke fluent moron. So were you a moron major in college, or did you listen to moron tapes in your car. Or did your parents both speak moronic as a first language."
There are some people I wish I could say that too.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Online Dating in a Nutshell
Take any one online dating site and look up one city. There can be 100s of locals listed.
But all those guys can be lumped into a few small categories. Let's look at some of those groups.
1) Recently Divorced with Kids: He's all like: "I've been out of the dating scene for a while. I love my kids. Here's a picture of me with a beer. I'm hip. I'm cool. I'm laid back." He's usually in his early to late 40s and sends "smiles" to all the 20-somethings on the site.
2) Shyness Issues Boy: He would never approach a girl in "real life," but online dating lets him sit back and let the dates come to him.
3) Buff, Bleach-Blond Hair Boy - These boys are processed cheese. The cookie-cutter pretty boys. You've seen one. You've seen them all. They lack in real personality. And since they have an image to maintain, do not apply unless you are a tall, attractive cookie-cutter blond.
4) "I'm just here to see what's out there, but not looking for a relationship" Player - Enough said. Stay away from him, the "he used to date my cousin and he cheated on her" types.
5) "No real concept of what I look like" Guy - Some people say they are muscular, fit or average in their profiles . . . and in reality . . . not so much. I like these people who are honest and tuned into reality.
These are just some of the online dating categories. Aren't stereotypes fun? And yes, the same categories can apply to girls.
Oh sure, there are guys online that fall into the nice guy, keeper categories. But who wants to make fun of them?
But all those guys can be lumped into a few small categories. Let's look at some of those groups.
1) Recently Divorced with Kids: He's all like: "I've been out of the dating scene for a while. I love my kids. Here's a picture of me with a beer. I'm hip. I'm cool. I'm laid back." He's usually in his early to late 40s and sends "smiles" to all the 20-somethings on the site.
2) Shyness Issues Boy: He would never approach a girl in "real life," but online dating lets him sit back and let the dates come to him.
3) Buff, Bleach-Blond Hair Boy - These boys are processed cheese. The cookie-cutter pretty boys. You've seen one. You've seen them all. They lack in real personality. And since they have an image to maintain, do not apply unless you are a tall, attractive cookie-cutter blond.
4) "I'm just here to see what's out there, but not looking for a relationship" Player - Enough said. Stay away from him, the "he used to date my cousin and he cheated on her" types.
5) "No real concept of what I look like" Guy - Some people say they are muscular, fit or average in their profiles . . . and in reality . . . not so much. I like these people who are honest and tuned into reality.
These are just some of the online dating categories. Aren't stereotypes fun? And yes, the same categories can apply to girls.
Oh sure, there are guys online that fall into the nice guy, keeper categories. But who wants to make fun of them?
More than I can chew...
I hate when I agree to do something, thinking it won't take a lot of time.
But then when I finally sit down to do it, and I realize it is going to take hours, I try to stay calm.
Because, even though I'm thinking, "what was I thinking," if I don't do it, I'm going to be in huge trouble. People are relying on me.
I hate those situations.
But then when I finally sit down to do it, and I realize it is going to take hours, I try to stay calm.
Because, even though I'm thinking, "what was I thinking," if I don't do it, I'm going to be in huge trouble. People are relying on me.
I hate those situations.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Advice
"Whether you've been complimented or criticized, consider the source." - Life's Little Instruction Calendar Volume XI.
A resolution
In the movie "Bridget Jones's Diary," Bridget swears off forming any romantic attachments to:
"alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits" and "perverts."
I think most women regularly have problems with men who are commitment-phobics, megalomaniacs and emotional fuckwits.
An example of an emotional fuckwit.
When a guy tells his girlfriend that it is not his job to support her emotionally the first time she confides in him about a problem regarding her job.
He then doesn't get why she breaks up with him right then and there.
Fuckwit: A person who is not only lacking in clue, but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions.
"alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits" and "perverts."
I think most women regularly have problems with men who are commitment-phobics, megalomaniacs and emotional fuckwits.
An example of an emotional fuckwit.
When a guy tells his girlfriend that it is not his job to support her emotionally the first time she confides in him about a problem regarding her job.
He then doesn't get why she breaks up with him right then and there.
Fuckwit: A person who is not only lacking in clue, but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Just Friends
Why is it when people are breaking up they agree to remain friends?
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
Just Friends
Why is it when people are breaking up they agree to remain friends?
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
Suspense
When will I learn that watching a few episodes of a dramatic TV series on DVD before I go to bed is a bad idea.
Each episode always ends on a cliffhanger, so I have to watch the next one and then the next one until it is way past my usual bedtime.
It's not even worth it really, since the resolutions of these cliffhangers are usually anticlimactic.
Each episode always ends on a cliffhanger, so I have to watch the next one and then the next one until it is way past my usual bedtime.
It's not even worth it really, since the resolutions of these cliffhangers are usually anticlimactic.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
If only...
I think everyone's life would be 100 per cent better if, at the end of every week, we were given a three-day weekend. The only draw back would be if you were paid by the hour, then there would only be 32 working hours instead of 40.
Time is valuable.
Time is valuable.
Famous Last Words
You know a relationship is over when your significant other says: "We need to talk."
Those are words nobody wants to hear. And that doesn't just apply to dating.
Those are words nobody wants to hear. And that doesn't just apply to dating.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Help
What I've learned throughout my life is that many people do not handle emergency situations well.
If someone collapses in front of them, most will not call an ambulance. I saw a young woman collapse in a crowded party. She had overdosed on drugs. And many were laughing at her or just starring at her. No one was doing anything. I hopped over the counter and got security involved. An ambulance was called. The girl could have died if I hadn't done anything.
Sadly, that's not the first time I've seen people not react properly. I've seen an old man collapse in a park. No one did anything to help him.
A friend of mine told me that she saw a man beating up a woman on the street, but my friend didn't call the police. Another person I know didn't call the police when she saw an eight-year-old kid walking down the street with a hand gun in plain view.
People don't like to get involved, or they don't want to admit to what it is they are seeing.
So if you are ever in trouble, don't necessarily rely on other people to help you out.
If someone collapses in front of them, most will not call an ambulance. I saw a young woman collapse in a crowded party. She had overdosed on drugs. And many were laughing at her or just starring at her. No one was doing anything. I hopped over the counter and got security involved. An ambulance was called. The girl could have died if I hadn't done anything.
Sadly, that's not the first time I've seen people not react properly. I've seen an old man collapse in a park. No one did anything to help him.
A friend of mine told me that she saw a man beating up a woman on the street, but my friend didn't call the police. Another person I know didn't call the police when she saw an eight-year-old kid walking down the street with a hand gun in plain view.
People don't like to get involved, or they don't want to admit to what it is they are seeing.
So if you are ever in trouble, don't necessarily rely on other people to help you out.
Friends with Benefits
Remember that if you're in a casual relationship, kind of like the "friends with benefits" situation, it's probably not as great as it seems. The other person likely has feelings for you and is living in hope that your relationship will get more serious.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Happily Ever After
"I have now reigned about 50 years in victory or peace, beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity. In this situation, I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot. They amount to fourteen." -Abd Er-Rahman III of Spain. 960 C.E.
What a depressing thought, but probably true. Most of us will never be happy.
What a depressing thought, but probably true. Most of us will never be happy.
First Date Insecurities
"Do you like my stupid hair? Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear? I'm just scared of what you think. You make me nervous so I really can't eat." - Blink 182
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Bad News
There is nothing more disappointing when someone cancels on you after you've been looking forward to hanging out with them all week.
When big plans are cancelled, it can ruin your day.
C'est la vie.
When big plans are cancelled, it can ruin your day.
C'est la vie.
No more excuses.
When a guy doesn't call you when he is supposed to, cut him out of your life immediately.
Respect yourself. Don't make excuses for him.
If he truly liked you, he would find time to call you, no matter how busy he was. You would be the bright spot in his crappy day.
Respect yourself. Don't make excuses for him.
If he truly liked you, he would find time to call you, no matter how busy he was. You would be the bright spot in his crappy day.
No more excuses.
When a guy doesn't call you when he is supposed to, cut him out of your life immediately.
Respect yourself. Don't make excuses for him.
If he truly liked you, he would find time to call you, no matter how busy he was. You would be the bright spot in his crappy day.
Respect yourself. Don't make excuses for him.
If he truly liked you, he would find time to call you, no matter how busy he was. You would be the bright spot in his crappy day.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Alone again.
There is nothing worse than spending a Saturday night getting burned by some loser you somehow found yourself dating.
It is tough to, once again, have to tell yourself that you are great. It is his loss.
Then you think back to all the heartache you've experienced over the years and you ask yourself: "How much more of this can I really take?"
It is tough to, once again, have to tell yourself that you are great. It is his loss.
Then you think back to all the heartache you've experienced over the years and you ask yourself: "How much more of this can I really take?"
Half full
Why is it that realism and pessimism are considered one in the same?
Life isn't great all the time, and thinking that it should be, or will be, only sets you up for disappointment.
Why are we expected to be naively optimistic all the time?
Life isn't great all the time, and thinking that it should be, or will be, only sets you up for disappointment.
Why are we expected to be naively optimistic all the time?
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