Can we really know what our ideal partner looks like before we meet them?
I bet most people are looking for someone who is intelligent, kind, witty, generous and attractive - whatever that means.
Beauty and intelligence are in the eyes of the beholder.
But what other characteristics beyond that are we looking for? Can we really know what we are looking for before we meet him or her?
Haven't you met someone who you really didn't think was that interesting or attractive, but then over time that person won you over?
Life is full of surprises.
We could all be like Charlotte York on Sex and the City. She ended up marrying the character Harry Goldenblatt.
Harry was the total opposite of what Charlotte desired. He was bald and chewed with his mouth open.
Charlotte started dating him because she knew she could let her guard down around Harry, since she would never fall for anybody like him.
Her initial relationship with him was about sex. And even then she was embarrassed about being with him.
Overtime Charlotte fell for him, although she kept denying her feelings for Harry, both to herself and her friends.
Charlotte kept using his hairy back and lack of social skills to justify not wanting to be with him, but deep down, her feelings grew every single time they got together.
Eventually she confessed her feelings for Harry after he told her he couldn't marry anyone who wasn't Jewish. Charlotte converted and the two were married.
The moral of the story is never say never.
Just because you think you know what you want doesn't mean you do.
Life is full of surprises.
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11 comments:
Well said! Although, you forgot a couple of things people look for... money & security. Some people want someone to take care of them, whether emotionally or financially. And for a lot of people, those seem to come before many of the others... we could all learn a lot from Charlotte.
When I entered the real world after college I realized that there were lots of jobs out there that I'd love to do...I just didn't know they existed. But when I encountered them, learned their titles and descriptions I realized I was on to something.
Same with a mate. Sometimes you don't know you want something until someone shows you. Great post.
Intelligence isn't in the eye of the beholder: a person's ability to understand things in the abstract is not relative to another person's appreciation thereof. Beauty is different: the characteristic inherently consists of the relationship between a thing or person and another person's aesthetic reaction thereto.
As to falling for somebody the opposite of what one imagines, it might make a cute story on Sex and the City, but, unless one's requirements are arbitrary or ill-conceived (and perhaps Charlotte's were to some extent: does anybody remember the episode in the first series where she dumped somebody for having dissimilar tastes in crockery?), they are there for a good reason, and a failure to meet them will almost inevitably entail relationship-breaking incompatibilities. One must always be careful never to be so overcome by emphatuation for an attractive person not to realise that he or she is unsuitable to the extent that would make any relationship doomed to failure in the long term, when the initial emphatuation has worn off.
Choose for compatibility and companionship more than for attraction, because it is the former, not the latter, that will endure the longest.
I will accept no less than Joaquin Phoenix. yummy.
Money talks... Harry Goldensplatt had a lot to say. -Fez
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The last person I was interested in told me "never"; as in if it's not there fromt the start it will never be there. I disagreed. We had a lot in common and there was definite chemistry, but she kept saying "not the kind where I want to rip off your clothes". Well generally I don't look for that on a first date. Why should "clothes ripping" even come into play?
Married Guy . . . money and security can be as hard to find as true love.
I agree So Wise Sista. You don't always know what you want until you see that it exists.
Coatman, intelligence is in the eye of the beholder because your appreciation of intelligence is dependent of your own level of intelligence. For instance, someone really dumb might think someone slightly more intelligent is really bright. Where someone of greater intellect might see both of them all as dim wits.
MJ,I'm more into Jake Gyllenhall and Seann William Scott.
Fez, money talks to some yes. Others speak a different language.
Pgh, I think chemistry can be brewed up over time. Because it's pretty rare to feel an intense connection with someone right away, especially one that lasts.
DL: Can you help me convince this person I wrote about? Or at least email your response to her? ;)
pgh,
If her mind's made up there ain't nothing I can do or say to change her mind.
is it true that u can love someone even before you met him?
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