Sex and the City

How many women really go on first dates every week?

How many women really meet men when they go to the bookstore or when getting a cup of coffee on their way to work?

Life isn't "Sex and the City."

I think in real life, a guy might come into your life occasionally. You might meet him through a friend or through work. Most people are lucky if they have two love interests a year.

Television and dating books should take into consideration real people aren't dating that much. Most of us singletons are Bridget Jones, listening to Celine Dion singing "All By Myself" on a lonely and quiet Saturday night.

The Big Question

Sometimes there is only one question a girl has to ask herself.

When is that guy going to ask you out?

He stops in and visits you at work. He calls you. You've gone to lunch with him, maybe went to a few movies.

But are you just friends? When is he going to blur the boundaries and state his real intentions?

It's obvious he likes you, isn't it? So when will he become your boyfriend?

This is the horrible waiting game a girl plays.

Stomping and Clapping

A drama teacher in high school once told me that people like to applaud.

That's why at the end of a play, the actors are brought out in small groups for their final bows. It gives the audience the chance to applaud their little hearts out.

I guess I'm not like everyone else. I don't like to applaud.

At the ballet last night, after they brought out the third group of dancers, I stopped clapping.

As people were still clapping for the seventh set of dancers, my sister looked at me, as if to say: "When the hell is this going to end?"

It looked like soon. So I stood up to put on my jacket. Bad idea. Then everyone else around me stood up, still clapping. I accidentally started a standing ovation, but I guess it was deserved.

Finally, all the dancers were on stage for their final bow. The curtain started to close. People stopped clapping. But then the curtain got stuck. There was this second of awkward silence, as people realized what happened. The dancers were still stuck on stage.

What did people do? They started clapping again.

The dancers took one more bow. And then finally, a clever person up in the lighting booth killed the stage lights and the dancers scuffled off.

Vampires

I went to the ballet tonight. I always go to the ballet every now and again.

My favourite thing about the ballet is the set design and special effects.

Tonight's ballet was "Dracula."

A few of the dancers were graphically beheaded. At one point, Dracula turned into a bat and flew away.

At the end, Dracula was impaled and left to hang up on a spear. Dracula why didn't you turn into a bat again, before the angry mob speared you? Why, Dracula? Why?

Ah, the magic of theatre.

Look! It's a plane... No. Wait. It's a plastic bag!!

Every day when I come home from work I pass this lone white plastic bag caught up in a tree, barren of all its leaves.

I think it is actually a very beautiful sight. It peacefully dances along the branches, lead by the wind.

Anyhow, tonight I googled "plastic bags stuck in trees" and learned that there are a few groups of people out there who pluck these bags down and dispose of them.

One such group invented a special tool to aid them in the task. It is called a "bagger snagger." It can reach 40 feet in the air and snatch down those wannabe birds.

If you surf the Internet long enough, you will find photos of Bette Middler using the bagger snagger to clean up New York City. Middler is, of course, the founder of the New York Restoration Project.

Did you know so far this year the world has used over 409 billion bags? It's true. You don't have to take my word for it. Do the research.

Anyhow, that is the useful fact for the day.

These are a few of my favourite things...

It's getting crazy busy at work. For the next three weeks it will be go, go, go.

But that's life in the media business. Things are slow for the longest of time and then something explodes and you find that you're working non-stop until you drop or until the explosion is cleaned up. Whatever comes first.

But it's during times of craziness where I have moments in which I appreciate the minute details of life.

Today, I was enjoying the driving experience. Something I normally take for granted.

There was frost on my car windows this morning. Normally I hate scrapping my windows, but today I enjoyed the brisk cold air, watching the white curls of frost fall to the ground.

I enjoyed driving to work. I was alone with my thoughts, rocking out to a favourite CD.

It is these moments that bring peace to my life, until someone cuts me off and sends me crashing back down into reality.

Hey! Pick up the phone!

Why is it okay not to return some one's call? For God's sake, call people back even if it's with a simple "no" or a "go away."

If someone took the time to call you. Take the time to call them back. Don't keep them hanging.

I work in the media and I leave a number of messages on people's machines looking to set up possible interviews. And there is nothing I hate more than someone who won't return my calls. Because that means, until my deadline passes, I have to keep phoning back and phoning back, leaving another message after another message, which is annoying for both of us.

So if you have "no comment," just call me back and say so. It will make both of our lives easier. Okay!!

Dinner for one please

In some ways convenience foods are symbols of loneliness. When a person lives alone, he or she often does not take the time to cook. When it's just one person a full blown meal isn't worth the time or the effort. Most recipes are meant for four people, but the box out of the freezer is usually meant for just one.

Bad blogs...

I went to a journalism conference last week that featured a stuffy key note speaker. He said blogs are bad for journalism.

Blogs are bad because they often don't contain accurate facts and are full of biases. Blogs are not objective, he said.

Blogs are usually poorly written and are for wannabe writers, he continued.

The uninformed masses will read blogs at face value and take what is written as fact.

(Journalists are taught that our general audience has about a Grade 5 reading level. I suppose our general audience also has no critical thinking skills and therefore has difficulty distinguishing fact from opinion).

Me, I think blogs are great. They encourage global dialogue and help give a voice to those who are perhaps voiceless. Blogs promote freedom of speech.

So for all you bloggers out there: "Keep on blogging in the free world!!"

A denser matter...

I've been studying the martial arts for a few years now. And I have made an observation: one per cent of the population is made of a dense, but soft, foam. It's true!

It's pretty easy to block Average Joe's punch. You can just knock it out of the way.

But when you run into these dense foam opponents, it doesn't matter how good your technique is, you're block is going to sink into the foam until it hits an immovable brick bone wall.

I once saw two experienced large black belts try to move a foam-made white belt. Both black belts pushed on the white belt with powerful side-thrust kicks, but the foam man wouldn't budge.

It sounds crazy, but it's true. There are people out there that are made of matter so dense you just can't move them.

The Broader Sense

We shouldn't care about fitting in. Just be yourself. But how far can you carry that argument? In the larger sense "being like everyone else" can mean having a job and paying your bills.

Being myself could mean wearing pajama pants and waking up at 10 a.m., but for some reason few bosses like that. So, like many, I conform to a 9 to 5 routine.

Sometimes it's better to bite your tongue. Saying what I want to say when I want to say it probably isn't the best idea. We all live under self-imposed restraints, because if we didn't we might appear to be a little crazy or a little antagonistic or what have you.

I've seen a lone grown man do a pirouette in the middle of DQ just for the hell of it. By appearances, he definitely wasn't one who fit in with society. Perhaps self-restraint is what keeps us sane. When we truly unleash our inner selves we cross into the realm of insanity.

Mark Twain once said: "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

Have you ever opened your mouth and said what is exactly on your mind and then regretted it the moment after? Why did you regret it? Likely because you care about what people think.

In the professional world of ladder climbing we need to sometimes break into certain groups to advance. So dress up and impress those people you don't really like just to get ahead. Otherwise it's entry level positions and wages forever. Most of us want that bigger house or at the very least to get rid of student loans.

Further to the discussion of fitting in, we all need a group to belong to, even if we say we don't. Take away all your friends and family, while those around you still have supports. Move to a town with a foreign culture and where you know no one, then trust me fitting in will become important.

Let's face it. Humans are social creatures. We all just want to belong.

Monsters Are Us

We've all heard of bad hair days, but have you ever heard of a Frankenstein Day? That's the kind of day I'm having -- where you want to fit in here or there, but just can't, because apparently you have monster-like characteristics that make you stand apart from the group. I'm sure we all have a monster in us that sometimes scares people away. All Frankenstein wanted was for people to see past his monster-like traits and connect with the vulnerable human within. He was just like everybody else, but people just couldn't see it. What does it mean to be just like everybody else?

The dark side...

I hate it when communication types have to apologize for their jobs. "I'm sorry. I sold out." Whatever. Plush government or corporate job = big salary + three to four weeks of holidays a year + good benefits. When is the journalism industry going to catch up? Low pay, often lots of contract work, anti-union and long hours. I think journalism should be called the dark side because they haven't caught up to the 21st century when it comes to professional labour standards. The only reason PR is the dark side is because communication types are obstacles to getting information when their employer falls into controversy. Communication types = self-serving obstacles who have sold out freedom of information and democracy.