When it comes to measuring success at the Olympics? Do you go by the number of golds a country has won or by the number of medals overall?
If you only count golds to mark success, what's the point of giving out silver or bronze?
After all being second is like being the first loser.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
A dog eat dog world.
It's been said that cats possess masculine dating traits and dogs, well, they possess the female.
A dog, like many women in a relationship, can get a little needy. Dogs would rather be out on an evening stroll with you than having to be stuck at home while you are out with the guys.
A cat doesn't care if his owner is out with the girls. He could use the alone time.
A dog, like some women, likes to binge eat and will go for the whole cake if no one is around to see.
A dog, like many women, is overly affectionate. Dogs will greet you at the door and try to cuddle with you at inappropriate times. Dogs just don't give you any space. They always want to follow you around and spend every waking moment with you.
And that list could go on.
A dog, like many women in a relationship, can get a little needy. Dogs would rather be out on an evening stroll with you than having to be stuck at home while you are out with the guys.
A cat doesn't care if his owner is out with the girls. He could use the alone time.
A dog, like some women, likes to binge eat and will go for the whole cake if no one is around to see.
A dog, like many women, is overly affectionate. Dogs will greet you at the door and try to cuddle with you at inappropriate times. Dogs just don't give you any space. They always want to follow you around and spend every waking moment with you.
And that list could go on.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Scarves.
When you live in a cold and horrible winter climate it becomes necessary to wear a scarf in the winter, and sometimes it is so cold you need two scarves.
While scarves keep you warm, they often impede in shoulder checking when driving. You just can't get your head as far around with a scarf.
Plus, sometimes the tail ends of your scarf stick up and block your view.
However, scarves are useful when worn up over your face, as they hide the fact that you enjoy singing in your car.
While scarves keep you warm, they often impede in shoulder checking when driving. You just can't get your head as far around with a scarf.
Plus, sometimes the tail ends of your scarf stick up and block your view.
However, scarves are useful when worn up over your face, as they hide the fact that you enjoy singing in your car.
Say cheese.
Online dating is a safe place for people to use cheesy lines without being laughed at by the opposite sex.
Only when online dating would a guy use the name "Sir Hugs A Lot," or use the tag line "Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?"
Please!
But then again, at least "Sir Hugs A Lot" shows a little more personality than "Nice Guy 916."
Then there are the tag lines like: "Just trying this for fun" or "Are you the one?"
Whatever, Mr. Original. Do you put as much thought into your relationships as you do your profile?
Only when online dating would a guy use the name "Sir Hugs A Lot," or use the tag line "Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?"
Please!
But then again, at least "Sir Hugs A Lot" shows a little more personality than "Nice Guy 916."
Then there are the tag lines like: "Just trying this for fun" or "Are you the one?"
Whatever, Mr. Original. Do you put as much thought into your relationships as you do your profile?
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Catty much?
Do you ever wonder why a lot of single girls have cats?
Well, perhaps it's like practice for having a boyfriend.
Cats, like men, are aloof. They want your affection, but only when they want it. Otherwise they are most happy when alone with their toys.
Cats, like men, will meow (whine) when you don't do what they want.
Cats, like men, will wake you up in the middle of the night when they want to be pet. They don't care if you aren't in the mood.
Cats, like men, will often run away scared when you start sobbing.
And the list could go on.
Well, perhaps it's like practice for having a boyfriend.
Cats, like men, are aloof. They want your affection, but only when they want it. Otherwise they are most happy when alone with their toys.
Cats, like men, will meow (whine) when you don't do what they want.
Cats, like men, will wake you up in the middle of the night when they want to be pet. They don't care if you aren't in the mood.
Cats, like men, will often run away scared when you start sobbing.
And the list could go on.
Train wrecks
I was at a local pub with friends. There was an obese woman at our table, who ordered a poutine as a snack and talked about how the following day she had a bacon date with her friend. As she explained it, she and her friend like to get together and eat bacon.
Everyone around the table's eyes went big. We were all thinking "OMG," because it was clear that this woman's eating habits were destroying her health.
Of course, no one said anything, because what do you say. We're all taught to mind our own business, and it's probably just as well. Sometimes it's better to avoid confrontation then to try to prevent a train wreck.
Everyone around the table's eyes went big. We were all thinking "OMG," because it was clear that this woman's eating habits were destroying her health.
Of course, no one said anything, because what do you say. We're all taught to mind our own business, and it's probably just as well. Sometimes it's better to avoid confrontation then to try to prevent a train wreck.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Rebound
"The only one who should have to pay for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship." - Miranda, Sex and the City
And that's why it sucks when you discover that you've been elected someone's rebound girlfriend.
When they find out you're not exactly . . . well, not even close . . . to their ex-girlfriend, it's all downhill from there.
And that's why it sucks when you discover that you've been elected someone's rebound girlfriend.
When they find out you're not exactly . . . well, not even close . . . to their ex-girlfriend, it's all downhill from there.
Strategy
When guys like you and are thinking about making a move, they can tend to start with a hug to see how you will react. If things go horribly, at least they were able to cop one feel.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Old Hat
Men seem to treat their old girlfriends like security blankets.
Literally, when men have nothing better "to do" they come running back to women they just left.
Maybe men have short-term memories. Or maybe men second guess their decisions to leave.
But maybe men are relying on the fact that you once said you loved them, and they want to exploit those old feelings, because they can. When the night is over, they'll be gone and you end up feeling used.
That's why you have to cut off ex-boyfriends forever.
Just remember you will survive, so change your stupid lock and make your ex leave his key.
Literally, when men have nothing better "to do" they come running back to women they just left.
Maybe men have short-term memories. Or maybe men second guess their decisions to leave.
But maybe men are relying on the fact that you once said you loved them, and they want to exploit those old feelings, because they can. When the night is over, they'll be gone and you end up feeling used.
That's why you have to cut off ex-boyfriends forever.
Just remember you will survive, so change your stupid lock and make your ex leave his key.
Ms. Jones
Why was "Bridget Jones's Diary" such a popular movie? Because it is true to life for a lot of women. They are worried about their weight, yet they can't curb their eating. A few extra pounds and looking for love - because there is nothing worse than spending your life alone.
As Bridget Jones says so well:
"I suddenly realized that unless some thing changed soon, I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine and I'd finally die fat and alone and be found three weeks later, half-eaten by wild dogs."
Like Bridget, many women picture their wedding to a guy as soon as he expresses an interest.
If men want to understand the unspoken thoughts of many women, watch Bridget Jones's Diary. You might not like it, but it's true. A lot of women are secretly that neurotic, if only in their heads.
As Bridget Jones says so well:
"I suddenly realized that unless some thing changed soon, I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine and I'd finally die fat and alone and be found three weeks later, half-eaten by wild dogs."
Like Bridget, many women picture their wedding to a guy as soon as he expresses an interest.
If men want to understand the unspoken thoughts of many women, watch Bridget Jones's Diary. You might not like it, but it's true. A lot of women are secretly that neurotic, if only in their heads.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Hugs and Kisses
Why is it the one day you sleep in, skip the shower and deodorant to get to work on time, is the one day the guy you like gives you a big holiday hug?
Animal Attraction
When you meet a guy at a pet store and he's buying a big bag of dog food and you're buying a big bag of cat food, can the relationship really work out?
Clearly he's a dog person and you a cat person. Cats and dogs don't get along.
When there's a fundamental lifestyle difference or opinion should you still give the person a chance?
Should a non-smoker try to date a smoker? Can someone from the political left date someone from the political right? Should someone who wants to have kids date someone who doesn't?
These are the deal breakers.
Now a person can get rid of their cat or their dog. And a smoker can quit. But that's a long way to go for love, if it is indeed love.
And why give up a loyal pal, such as your cat, who has been with you through more boyfriends and break ups than you care to remember.
You and your pet are a package deal. Or are they?
Clearly he's a dog person and you a cat person. Cats and dogs don't get along.
When there's a fundamental lifestyle difference or opinion should you still give the person a chance?
Should a non-smoker try to date a smoker? Can someone from the political left date someone from the political right? Should someone who wants to have kids date someone who doesn't?
These are the deal breakers.
Now a person can get rid of their cat or their dog. And a smoker can quit. But that's a long way to go for love, if it is indeed love.
And why give up a loyal pal, such as your cat, who has been with you through more boyfriends and break ups than you care to remember.
You and your pet are a package deal. Or are they?
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Drugs
"Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they get you down and sometimes they get you so high!" - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Decision
"Be sure of your choices; you're stuck with them forever." - Life's Little Instruction Calendar Volume XI
Talk about pressure. Yikes! No room for error.
That's why life is a learning game.
Talk about pressure. Yikes! No room for error.
That's why life is a learning game.
Go away. Go away. Go away.
There are some ex-boyfriends who should just drop off the face of the planet. It would just be better for all those involved.
Like the ex-boyfriend who occasionally sends you little tokens in the mail out of the blue. Is it to show you that they still think about you? Or do they just want to see what sort of emotions they can still evoke?
Seeing their name on an envelope can make your heart stop, even if you haven't thought about them in months.
And then you call them to thank them and they tell you that they got their new girlfriend to mail it.
All they wanted to do is pick off the scabs and rub salt in the wounds. What next are they going to stab you in the heart? Oh wait. They ripped that out long ago.
Sadistic bastards like that are those that should really, really drop off the face of the planet.
Like the ex-boyfriend who occasionally sends you little tokens in the mail out of the blue. Is it to show you that they still think about you? Or do they just want to see what sort of emotions they can still evoke?
Seeing their name on an envelope can make your heart stop, even if you haven't thought about them in months.
And then you call them to thank them and they tell you that they got their new girlfriend to mail it.
All they wanted to do is pick off the scabs and rub salt in the wounds. What next are they going to stab you in the heart? Oh wait. They ripped that out long ago.
Sadistic bastards like that are those that should really, really drop off the face of the planet.
Monday, February 20, 2006
A way of life.
For athletes, their sport is their way of life.
I'm not a high performance athlete like those in the Olympics, but I do train karate three to four times a week.
There's only so much you can learn and you learn that very quickly. You spend the rest of your life trying to perfect those "basics." And that's all there is to most sports.
Yeah, practice can be tedious. And, amazingly, you can push past injury like nobody's business.
Athletes get hurt all the time. They get torn whatevers and broken bones. They won't let a little injury slow them down. I used to think that was crazy, until I lost my toenail in a match. Although it hurt, I didn't flinch and kept on going. Adrenaline has a lot to do with it, as well as a neurotic need to keep on going no matter what. I can't explain it.
Sport can be like an addiction. You don't want to give it up for one night, even to let an injury heel.
Although, someone got their tooth knocked through their lip in karate this weekend. I don't know if I can handle that one.
I'm not a high performance athlete like those in the Olympics, but I do train karate three to four times a week.
There's only so much you can learn and you learn that very quickly. You spend the rest of your life trying to perfect those "basics." And that's all there is to most sports.
Yeah, practice can be tedious. And, amazingly, you can push past injury like nobody's business.
Athletes get hurt all the time. They get torn whatevers and broken bones. They won't let a little injury slow them down. I used to think that was crazy, until I lost my toenail in a match. Although it hurt, I didn't flinch and kept on going. Adrenaline has a lot to do with it, as well as a neurotic need to keep on going no matter what. I can't explain it.
Sport can be like an addiction. You don't want to give it up for one night, even to let an injury heel.
Although, someone got their tooth knocked through their lip in karate this weekend. I don't know if I can handle that one.
Lesbians
Why do guys always, at some point, have to bring up the idea of a threesome?
That is so uncool.
If the girl is really into you, she doesn't want to share. And if she ends up playing the supporting role, while the other girl stars, you better watch out. Because someone in a threesome always has to play the supporting role, like that's fun.
And guys, if it's not cool for you to do a threesome with another guy and a girl, then why do you think it would be cool for a girl to do it with another girl and a guy?
Haven't you ever seen the movie "Threesome" or "Chasing Amy?" It will just make the relationship awkward.
A threesome is a fantasy. And that's the way it should stay - a fantasy.
Plus, where are you going to get the second girl from? I mean, really. You? You had enough trouble getting the girl you have to sleep with you.
That is so uncool.
If the girl is really into you, she doesn't want to share. And if she ends up playing the supporting role, while the other girl stars, you better watch out. Because someone in a threesome always has to play the supporting role, like that's fun.
And guys, if it's not cool for you to do a threesome with another guy and a girl, then why do you think it would be cool for a girl to do it with another girl and a guy?
Haven't you ever seen the movie "Threesome" or "Chasing Amy?" It will just make the relationship awkward.
A threesome is a fantasy. And that's the way it should stay - a fantasy.
Plus, where are you going to get the second girl from? I mean, really. You? You had enough trouble getting the girl you have to sleep with you.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
The benefit to being a girl...
"Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again." - Susan Healy
And the meal is usually free.
And the meal is usually free.
Unwelcome News!
When being single, and having to face up to the usual family Christmas conversation that revolves around the spinster-tragedy that is your life, there is no worse news than that from a recently engaged colleague.
She writes: "I am so happy. I hope everyone's holidays are going as well as mine."Rub it in a little more.
She writes: "I am so happy. I hope everyone's holidays are going as well as mine."Rub it in a little more.
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