Tuesday, February 14, 2006
What it should look like...
"Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle." - Crystal Middlemas
Monday, February 13, 2006
Babies
You can tell a lot about yourself by how you react to other people's news.
For instance, my friend just told me she is pregnant with her second child. She is in the perfect position to start a family. She has a good job and so does her husband. Both are entitled to take shared maternity leave.
When she told me she was pregnant, I was like: "What are you kidding me? Are you crazy? Isn't one kid already enough?" Of course, I didn't say that out loud. Instead I said congratulations.
But I guess I'm a "one kid kind of gal" based on my reaction to her news. Because to me, one kid is probably enough of a handful. Why take on a second burden? Plus why put your body through the pain and discomfort for a second time? Isn't once enough?
For instance, my friend just told me she is pregnant with her second child. She is in the perfect position to start a family. She has a good job and so does her husband. Both are entitled to take shared maternity leave.
When she told me she was pregnant, I was like: "What are you kidding me? Are you crazy? Isn't one kid already enough?" Of course, I didn't say that out loud. Instead I said congratulations.
But I guess I'm a "one kid kind of gal" based on my reaction to her news. Because to me, one kid is probably enough of a handful. Why take on a second burden? Plus why put your body through the pain and discomfort for a second time? Isn't once enough?
Be mine...
Valentine's Day is like Christmas for some people. People in a relationship want the day to be perfect, but usually the day turns out to be anticlimatic.
And people who are alone end up feeling lonlier than normal.
It's just another commercial holiday aimed at selling greeting cards. It's a holiday that can make us feel miserable.
It's like Christmas.
Except unlike Christmas, it's okay to pretend that Valentine's Day doesn't exist. Push the day out of your mind. Make it a day like any other.
And people who are alone end up feeling lonlier than normal.
It's just another commercial holiday aimed at selling greeting cards. It's a holiday that can make us feel miserable.
It's like Christmas.
Except unlike Christmas, it's okay to pretend that Valentine's Day doesn't exist. Push the day out of your mind. Make it a day like any other.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Songs
I always laugh at myself whenever I discover that I have completely misheard the lyrics to a certain song.
I thought the words to a favourite punk song were: "My new job is a piece of sh*t." When it turns out the lyrics were in fact: "I need a job just to sleep in sheets." I guess my music isn't as vulgar as I thought it was.
My favourite example of mishearing the lyrics is when a friend of mine thought the words to the song "Bad Moon Rising" were: "There's a bathroom on the right," instead of "There's a bad moon on the rise."
I thought the words to a favourite punk song were: "My new job is a piece of sh*t." When it turns out the lyrics were in fact: "I need a job just to sleep in sheets." I guess my music isn't as vulgar as I thought it was.
My favourite example of mishearing the lyrics is when a friend of mine thought the words to the song "Bad Moon Rising" were: "There's a bathroom on the right," instead of "There's a bad moon on the rise."
Online Dating
The popularity of online dating is picking up.
Apparently some people are going on five or six dates a week thanks to online dating. Some people even go on three or four dates a night.
These serial daters know what they want in a partner, so they give each of their dates a 20-minute in-person interview. And when that person turns out to not be the one, it is out the door for them.
Can you really screen people that quickly? Doesn't romance take time to grow?
If you go through dates so quickly, won't you be too cynical to know when the right person comes along. Yeah, sure that person might like dogs, and you cats. But still if given a chance . . . it can go somewhere. Can't it?
Since when did dating become like a job interview? Can love really be found that way?
Apparently some people are going on five or six dates a week thanks to online dating. Some people even go on three or four dates a night.
These serial daters know what they want in a partner, so they give each of their dates a 20-minute in-person interview. And when that person turns out to not be the one, it is out the door for them.
Can you really screen people that quickly? Doesn't romance take time to grow?
If you go through dates so quickly, won't you be too cynical to know when the right person comes along. Yeah, sure that person might like dogs, and you cats. But still if given a chance . . . it can go somewhere. Can't it?
Since when did dating become like a job interview? Can love really be found that way?
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Loneliness
"My love life was getting so bland. There are only so many ways I can make love with my hand. Sometimes it makes me want to laugh. Sometimes I want to take my toaster in the bath."- Blink 182
Sometimes you wonder if that box of condoms you keep in your underwear drawer is going to expire before you have sex again . . . even if the expiry date is two years away.
Sometimes you wonder if that box of condoms you keep in your underwear drawer is going to expire before you have sex again . . . even if the expiry date is two years away.
Fatal Attraction
Apparently, the easiest way to make a woman who is a six look like a 10 is to act jealous when your man checks her out.
Instead, it is best to act like you don't even notice her. Just act like everything is normal and cool. Continue to carry on the conversation and he'll think you're the 10.
Instead, it is best to act like you don't even notice her. Just act like everything is normal and cool. Continue to carry on the conversation and he'll think you're the 10.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Rejection
A rejection is a blow to our ego, especially when it is by someone we really liked.
Rejection can have us running to our mirrors to examine our warts and all. And if you get rejected enough, you begin to look for the mutant tail possibly growing from your behind.
Rejection can get you wanting to make a cocoon of your blanket, so you never have to leave your bed again.
Is it you? Are you really a horrible person? Or is it them? Do they just not know what they are missing? They just don't get you.
After a long dry spell in your dating life, should you give up and accept your life as a singleton?
"When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?" Carrie Bradshaw asked on Sex and the City.
But, then again, is their love out their for everyone?
We can't give up hope.
Rejection can have us running to our mirrors to examine our warts and all. And if you get rejected enough, you begin to look for the mutant tail possibly growing from your behind.
Rejection can get you wanting to make a cocoon of your blanket, so you never have to leave your bed again.
Is it you? Are you really a horrible person? Or is it them? Do they just not know what they are missing? They just don't get you.
After a long dry spell in your dating life, should you give up and accept your life as a singleton?
"When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?" Carrie Bradshaw asked on Sex and the City.
But, then again, is their love out their for everyone?
We can't give up hope.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Loudness
I always find it amusing, after spending an early morning in quiet solitude, when I jump after getting into my car and being blown away by the blaring punk CD I left in my player.
Upon starting my car this morning, my moment of solitude was broken with the lines: "My new job is a piece of sh*t." Ah, you have to love punk music - so blunt and to the point.
Upon starting my car this morning, my moment of solitude was broken with the lines: "My new job is a piece of sh*t." Ah, you have to love punk music - so blunt and to the point.
Singleton Sports Pages
Seniors read the obituaries with a great deal of interest, as they are sadly getting to the age when everyone they know is passing away.
Twenty and thirty-somethings read the wedding announcements so they can count the people they know, or once knew, that are getting married.
When you're single in your late 20s and early 30s you can usually count, with one hand, the number of friends you have who are still single.
When you are in your late 30s and early 40s, you may likely be able to count, with both hands, the number of friends you have that are divorced.
Perhaps this is because people get married too quickly. And maybe, subconsciously, they do it for the sake of getting married. They overlook a person's problem qualities because they want them to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Twenty and thirty-somethings read the wedding announcements so they can count the people they know, or once knew, that are getting married.
When you're single in your late 20s and early 30s you can usually count, with one hand, the number of friends you have who are still single.
When you are in your late 30s and early 40s, you may likely be able to count, with both hands, the number of friends you have that are divorced.
Perhaps this is because people get married too quickly. And maybe, subconsciously, they do it for the sake of getting married. They overlook a person's problem qualities because they want them to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Singleton Sports Pages
Seniors read the obituaries with a great deal of interest, as they are sadly getting to the age when everyone they know is passing away.
Twenty and thirty-somethings read the wedding announcements so they can count the people they know, or once knew, that are getting married.
When you're single in your late 20s and early 30s you can usually count, with one hand, the number of friends you have who are still single.
When you are in your late 30s and early 40s, you may likely be able to count, with both hands, the number of friends you have that are divorced.
Perhaps this is because people get married too quickly. And maybe, subconsciously, they do it for the sake of getting married. They overlook a person's problem qualities because they want them to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Twenty and thirty-somethings read the wedding announcements so they can count the people they know, or once knew, that are getting married.
When you're single in your late 20s and early 30s you can usually count, with one hand, the number of friends you have who are still single.
When you are in your late 30s and early 40s, you may likely be able to count, with both hands, the number of friends you have that are divorced.
Perhaps this is because people get married too quickly. And maybe, subconsciously, they do it for the sake of getting married. They overlook a person's problem qualities because they want them to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
True Dat!
"We were having one of those great first dates you can only have when it's not an actual date." -Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
We've all been there.
We've all been there.
Weighty Matters.
"Never give anyone you're dating a diet book." -Life's Little Instruction Calendar Volume XI
Thank you Captain Obvious!!
But really what do you do if the person you are dating starts putting on a little weight, or a lot of weight. If you really like them, it shouldn't matter. Should it?
Thank you Captain Obvious!!
But really what do you do if the person you are dating starts putting on a little weight, or a lot of weight. If you really like them, it shouldn't matter. Should it?
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Chocolate
I have a rule that I can only eat junkfood if it is given to me or if I buy it from charity.
Lately, there has been someone at work selling chocolate bars to raise money for amputees. It is sold by the honour system. They leave the chocolate bars in the lounge and whoever buys a chocolate bar leaves the money and takes a chocolate bar.
Anyhow I was buying a lot of chocolate bars - chocolate is my weakness - and was releaved when the bag of chocolate bars was emptied. But then, shortly after, another bag was brought in, and now a third ... and I keep buying chocolates.
I might as well give the charity my bank account number.
Lately, there has been someone at work selling chocolate bars to raise money for amputees. It is sold by the honour system. They leave the chocolate bars in the lounge and whoever buys a chocolate bar leaves the money and takes a chocolate bar.
Anyhow I was buying a lot of chocolate bars - chocolate is my weakness - and was releaved when the bag of chocolate bars was emptied. But then, shortly after, another bag was brought in, and now a third ... and I keep buying chocolates.
I might as well give the charity my bank account number.
On true love . . .
"Some people are settling down. Some people are settling. And some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." -Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
As for the people who won't settle for anything less than butterflies, are they expecting too much?
Maybe they'll never find their butterflies.
As for the people who won't settle for anything less than butterflies, are they expecting too much?
Maybe they'll never find their butterflies.
Monday, February 06, 2006
The Sequel: A single fear.
In Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 3, Episode 20), Anya, the demon-turned-human, who is still developing her first human feelings, asks Xander to the prom.
Because of Anya's demon past, she has a lot of contempt for men. She was a demon who punished men who were unfaithful to their girlfriends and wives.
Anya: "I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them."
Xander: "Then why are you talking to me?"
Anya: "I don't have a date to the prom . . . All I know is I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me."
Despite the fact that she hates all men, she still couldn't go to the dance alone.
While that is an extreme example, many people feel they need a date . . . enough people to keep escort services busy anyway.
Why do we fear being alone? Why do so many people lack the ability to be alone?
Because of Anya's demon past, she has a lot of contempt for men. She was a demon who punished men who were unfaithful to their girlfriends and wives.
Anya: "I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them."
Xander: "Then why are you talking to me?"
Anya: "I don't have a date to the prom . . . All I know is I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me."
Despite the fact that she hates all men, she still couldn't go to the dance alone.
While that is an extreme example, many people feel they need a date . . . enough people to keep escort services busy anyway.
Why do we fear being alone? Why do so many people lack the ability to be alone?
Napoleon Dynamite Days
There are days when I feel like Napoleon Dynamite, where I probably look like an eccentric weirdo.
Like today, when I was out in the cold, walking up the hill near my work. I had my big Sorel boots on and a plastic bag in hand. I had my scarf around my face and my toque on, looking like a kindergarten kid wrapped up by her mother, on her way to school. But hey, it was really cold out!
I'm sure I had a ho-hum look on my face and was probably walking slow and without purpose. I probably could have been one of those characters right out of Napoleon Dynamite (had it been shot in the winter and in a place that gets snow).
But what can I say, it was one of those days.
Like today, when I was out in the cold, walking up the hill near my work. I had my big Sorel boots on and a plastic bag in hand. I had my scarf around my face and my toque on, looking like a kindergarten kid wrapped up by her mother, on her way to school. But hey, it was really cold out!
I'm sure I had a ho-hum look on my face and was probably walking slow and without purpose. I probably could have been one of those characters right out of Napoleon Dynamite (had it been shot in the winter and in a place that gets snow).
But what can I say, it was one of those days.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
A point on men.
There is a telling scene about men in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season Three, Episode 20) when Anya, a demon turned human, who is just starting to gain human feelings, asks Xander to the prom.
Xander is resistant, so Anya says: "Look I know you find me attractive. I see you looking at my breasts."
Xander says: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open." (It doesn't mean that he likes her).
But in the end, Xander goes with Anya because he doesn't have any other potential dates for the prom.
Sometimes I think if a man really wants to get laid, or really wants a date to the prom, or whatever, he will lower the bar and take the last woman standing if he must.
That's why there are prostitutes with three teeth who are able to maintain a steady business.
Xander is resistant, so Anya says: "Look I know you find me attractive. I see you looking at my breasts."
Xander says: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open." (It doesn't mean that he likes her).
But in the end, Xander goes with Anya because he doesn't have any other potential dates for the prom.
Sometimes I think if a man really wants to get laid, or really wants a date to the prom, or whatever, he will lower the bar and take the last woman standing if he must.
That's why there are prostitutes with three teeth who are able to maintain a steady business.
Morons
One of my favourite comic strips is Get Fuzzy, by Darby Conley. Sometimes I wish I could act like the cat Bucky, like when he calls Rob a moron:
Bucky: "Gee Robert . . . I never knew you spoke fluent moron. So were you a moron major in college, or did you listen to moron tapes in your car. Or did your parents both speak moronic as a first language."
There are some people I wish I could say that too.
Bucky: "Gee Robert . . . I never knew you spoke fluent moron. So were you a moron major in college, or did you listen to moron tapes in your car. Or did your parents both speak moronic as a first language."
There are some people I wish I could say that too.
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